Love isn't a burden

until it is gone

A failure of stone

I thought was forever

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I’m tired of my regrets

rattling their chains around mockingly

People who never said goodbye

and things I could have done better

Like gaudy pieces of costume jewelry

the laments hang around my neck

baubles with no value I can see

The fake diamonds sparkle too

Drawing my attention away

as they seek to cause a distraction

from an elusive calmness

...

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Owl asked "Where are you headed to young traveler?"

"To tomorrow and all that awaits me there."

Owl's eyes blinked in the slow-motion way that they will

and said "Don't hurry past the beauty among the ordinary here today,

where all you have to do is see it."

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She had so many broken pieces

after all these years

leaving a disquiet of scars

Some of the shards piercing her still

When I gave her flowers

she had no chance of seeing

the field of regard and tenderness

from which they came

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Dear Santa,

I don't know if you make stops in the afterlife,
but if you do, please
give our love to our mother

We all know you're magical
Chimneys, flying reindeer
and all of that
so anything is possible

You don't have to wrap it
or put a bow on it
or anything like that
She already knows what it is

Sincerely,
Steven, Michael, Jeffery, & David Too

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I haven’t thought much about her ashes
since she’s been gone. Grief, as I’ve known it,
never needed a physical place to take up residence

But I’m worried about the ashes now
as we try and make our peace
with dispersing the dust of what is left behind

How will I know which ashes were there on my first day of school?
Which ones listened to me when I needed to share my troubles?
Maybe I’l...

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She could not see the flowers

as an act of kindness,

as a thank you for sharing

some of her time with me

The expensive bouquet

was still there on the counter

Monday morning when she left

The roses, azaleas, and carnations,

even the inanimate vase,

seemed saddened and troubled

at having been seen as an apology

for a crime where no charges

had yet...

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She sits at the table

working on a puzzle

I rise from my chair

to pour us some wine

She suddenly asks me

if I might ever come up to her

and tell her I no longer want her

(this happened to a character

in a book she's been reading)

My brief pause causes her

more angst than she can

comfortably carry without

the help of my answer

I tell ...

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The Terns and the Herons,
near the cold blue water,
know who I am.

The man by the shore
looking for something

If I don't find it today
tomorrow will find me here again

The winged hunters
take flight once more
Our purpose the same,
to find what we need
down by the water

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I’ve heard the human soul

weighs 21 grams or so

Not so in my experience!

All those I miss the most

weigh much heavier on me

My mind sees their souls

as impossible to lift some days,

because of the burden of their absence

Heavy lifting - as if 21 grams

were as I imagine it might weigh

in the dark heart of a crushing black hole

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I don't know when the change came for me

It's not like a date you can mark on the calendar

With little still to prove to anyone,

the edges are worn now, smoother

The change, I think, came from living

and learning from all the mistakes and battles,

as well as a few skirmishes of the soul

I cherish all the ribbons awarded me,

secretly displayed on my heart

Now I ...

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As I open my eyes the morning scurries about

gaining purchase in all of my senses

from the blatant light spilling through the window,

and the chill clinging to the edges of the night before

And I’ve already been thinking a lot

about holes, the empirical shape of loss

and how they relate to grief

In the realm of my sorrow these shapes

aren’t ruled by the laws of...

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We arrived at five a.m.

thinking this was early enough

for great seats close to the stage - wrong!

The tents and campsites had been there for days

A tower of empty bottles over our heads, whisky, vodka, tequila,

and all the other varieties you could possibly imagine – no bottles allowed

Having delivered their liquid feelings of euphoria

they were piled high at the entr...

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There were diamonds on the water

and she wanted them

But these were not here

to rest in her hands

They travel with the sun

and the insistent tide

Riches she could not hold

would have to be visited again

near the shore, on the morrow

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In my sixth decade now, with a front row seat

to the beautiful and fearsome march of days

on their way to fewer of them

What else, other than time,

do we have so many grievances with

but are still so grateful for?

I see life’s passing markers damaging my body,

leaving consolation gifts of memories, good ones,

and lessons-learned ones where wisdom should come fro...

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There is often a vague sadness
that emanates from the boats
in the ramshackle marina

The boats, aground at low tide,
bereft of their purpose,
wait for their meaning to return

Later, afloat once again,
they’ve made their peace
with the return of the water

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Wiping the sleep from your eyes
in your beautiful way,
breathtaking, really

It helps me see the extraordinary
hidden between the sameness
of ordinary days

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I can’t touch the curve of a rainbow,
or use its’ colors to paint
Who counts the drops in a downpour?

Don’t be silly!

But my heart is a stubborn thing sometimes,
and it thinks: “All you have to do is try.
The first thing you must do is reach.”

So, we painted stories without end
I felt the tender hues of your curves,
and I tossed aside my umbrella
as we began to count the rain

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I found comfort in fleeting things

because they were more predictable

than your peregine heart

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You, the fire, intent on burning it all
with the heat of a blue-white flame
aimed at my kindling heart

There is no comfort for me here
Where love was sought
I found wolves at the door

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I wake up to find

a few aches and pains

have followed me into the new day

a stiff joint, an odd discomfort,

from origins unknown

I try to connect the unwanted guests

with, perhaps, foolish exertions

from the day before

that may have caused them

Still, I am grateful

for the parts of my body,

entities really, as I have come to know them,

that give me no ...

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People ask me what love is

and I smile because I know

I see the answer in you every day

Your sadness for old shoes

left on a windowsill

waiting to be rescued from the rain

The scar above your eye you hate

when it speaks to you in the mirror

Always and relentlessly there,

sharing a home with the old ones in your heart

colored crimson and blue

It’s not...

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I’ll put in a good word for you
when I visit Bastet,
who resides in her kingdom
along the winding Nile
I’ll tell her all about you

I’m happy to do this for you
because I am fond of your fondness for me
And the belly rubs too, of course!

When I return, I can lift your spirits
if they are in the black corners;
pull them back from the darkness

The Goddess sends her regards,
and than...

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They were playing that slow song

I remembered from years ago

She was dancing by herself

while the band kept playing

I wasn’t listening to my heart

trying to save me

from my talent for the wrong move

and wounds that haven’t healed

The way she looked at me though

seemed to suggest,

between the music and hardened hearts,

that we might find a way

Ther...

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I hate the sun

without you here

I wish the moon

could still see you too

I can forgive the stars,

if they’d let me see you there

Maybe tomorrow though

they may need some time

Canis Major perhaps;

you always loved animals

That’s where I’ll look for you

in the midnight sky

Better to do it then

so you won’t see my tears

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Dante, our dog, is a challenge to feed

He is always certain

every meal will be his last

It’s a race against drool,

best avoided by the squeamish

The trick is to get the food down

before he realizes it's feeding time

One day it will be his last meal

and it will break my heart

I know I’ll miss those times

I've stepped in the puddles of anticipation

fro...

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The phone rings late in the afternoon

She says she wants to see me tonight

I take another drink and contemplate the dance

Dark hair and a smile that cuts to the truth of the matter

Taking what she wants and leaving the rest

She turns over and draws the covers to her

And the damn cats look at me disapprovingly

I let them out to search for better company in the alley

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Failures of the heart

add a layer of toughness

making it difficult to find answers

in still hot ashes

Mercifully fading from my mind

love was once somewhere in there

in between the absent days

But I had to guess most of the time

And I was terrible at it

Yes, I’ll do it again

Always trusting I’ll eventually get it right

while tending my garden of hope

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The Stones and the Ramones

Social Distortion, out of the LA Punk scene

even Miles and Coltrane

She doesn’t need them

Still, in that void, there is a rhythm

found in her eyes, and in her heart

I let the sound sweep over me

It makes its own music

I listen to it over and over

A melody so beautiful

it can make you feel sorry

for blueberry pie

Her musi...

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Scott is dying in hospice

I think of him at this late time in his life

How he has found a way

to finally give something back, at least to me

His low place anchored

with misdeeds and transgressions

Still, he was loved by our mother

She was gone before him

In her absence, I looked after him

Food and other needed things

Anger made this an unwelcome burden ...

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We ride our bikes along the levy trail
tires spinning around at a leisurely pace
marking the distance with every revolution

The willow tree’s branches
hang low over the path
in the early afternoon haze

I reach up like a thief
to grab a handful of leaves
tossing them up in the air, mischievously

Behind me, riding through them
as they scatter and float in the wind
she reaches out gr...

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