I wish to be heard.  To bridge the divide

auto-ostracising me from common

experience.  Common understanding,

inclusion and collusion in present’s

moment.  I think ahead what response my

actions engender.  My words carefully

controlled, observation

based: precision vocabulary I

once envied – recycled at will,

effect calculated.  For reflection

on me, upping my status, ...

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Black Dog.  Stalking me.  Matching

every step.  Haunting

my shadow.  Nanometre

before manifestation.

My psyche cringes.  Ruin’s

proximity creeping fear

into me.  One false move.  One

trip.  One fall.  One turn against

the flow, the stalking dog bites.

And I press on.   Walk with fear

behind me.  I’ve been knocked down.

I’ve got up.  I’ve re-built lives.

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Consciousness' stream

Batters sensibility.

Defies any logic of control.

Mind-channel's pelt through anxious nonsense.

Respite remote.

Unattainable.

Peace a distant thought,

Foreign land. And there is no place to hide.

No breakwater, behind which

cowering folk

find lulling calm.

This torrent is totality,

whose subject matter

majors upon all those memories,

...

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