Ask the demons inside one’s head

That fly, that dart, land on one's bed

With jagged teeth, flashing blades

Wrenched out hearts, in coffins laid

Clawing, gnawing, clasping necks

Swooping coils, shattered wrecks

Beneath the sheets, a breathless calm

Still as death, deflecting harm

A play with words, manipulate

Entice a bird upon one's plate

For sake of vanity and greed

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Badger, badger, you can breathe

End of cull, a brief reprieve

Targets missed, faces red

Too few badgers pronounced dead

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Badger, badger, black and white

Camouflaged against the night

Brambles rustle as you brush by

From your sett, elusive, shy

Living in a close-knit clan

A forager, no threat to man

Nature’s civil engineer

By British public held so dear

But omnivore of stocky build

Defra say you should be killed

Accused spreader of TB

A sniper’s bullet’s saved for thee

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If you go down in the woods today                        

You might not believe your eyes

Some campers in Western Australia

Were in for a big surprise

Awoken by a crunching sound

In the middle of the night

A rampaging pig they came across

Gave them a massive fright

But more than that the cheeky swine

Was snaffling a...

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If you’re a bad-tempered person

Filling your day full of spats,

There’s a phrase often used back in Ireland

You’d be known as a real ‘bag of cats’.

Do you get out the wrong side of bed in the morning?

And nothing ever seems to go your way?

With a perm’nent grimace etched firm on your face,

You spread misery to all through the day?

If you suspect it ma...

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Whilst basking in the sun last week

I gazed up to the sky

Before I had a chance to blink

A bird crapped in my eye

From the shudd’ring hammock I duly fell

And rolled along the grass

Two snails, a slug were landed on

I squished them with my ass

On rising to beflip-flopped feet

A toe, it got a mangling

A hasty glance confirmed the new...

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When out walking this fine day

I came across a mouse

Grey and brown a mixture of

He couldn’t find his house

Said I to the rodent

Where last did you see it?

‘Twas way over yonder

Strewth, I’m such a twit

Asked I in bemusement

Why do you say that?

Because I’m forgetful

And . . .oops . . .kersplat!

Dear reader to a mishap

I must...

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A babe in a cradle

With soft mocha skin

Innocently sleeping

Blameless of sin

‘That babe in its cradle,

Consequence of disgrace!’

Blissfully unaware,

Prejudice yet to face

Our babe in her cradle

Result of our ‘crime’

Forbidden liaison

No reason or rhyme

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Spring arrives and blossoms burst

As green shoots sprout and quench their thirst

On sunshine from the sky up high

A joy to see and breathe a sigh

Be-petalled stars, beads of dew

Nature’s gift is flourished anew

From winter’s dearth, a colour explosion

Emerging buds nurtured with fruitful devotion

High in the branches filled with birdsong

Laden wit...

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Atop the coop this crested king

Painted coat and clip-ped wing

Awakened by his morning call

His hen harem, a fowl thrall

Breast out-thrust, majestic stance

Feathered beau, strutting dance

What elegance he does exude

To entrance his aim, this exalted dude.

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Now that really is absurd

Whoever heard

Of a two-headed bird

Once in a while

With a lop-sided smile

And with effortless guile

It's atop of the pile

Sitting high on the stack

Ahead of the pack

Changing its tack

Flying straight back

Its perch to attack

What would one say

If one saw it one day

Soaring way up above

Like a...

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