Blog Entries by Steven Kenny

Words escape me,
I am mute, struck dumb
by the darkness in my mind.

Overcome
by the hatred I reserve
purely for myself.

Incapacitated
by the loathing
pressing on my last nerve.

Freedom
is the light in a tunnel.
I see only black; an empty oeuvre.

Nothing
is good enough,
no words to share my pain.

Words escape me.
Alone, again.

Friday 9th August 2013 11:02 pm

I write from a dark place.
I see the beauty in darkness
Try to shape it into words
So that you may see as I do.
The bleakness in my mind
Curls tendrils about my soul
Binding it into submission.
An unwilling slave.
No safewords here.
When darkness has drained
The colour from life
Turned the beauty of the world
Into cold monochrome
I turn my eye to the abyss
I feel it ...

Friday 9th August 2013 11:01 pm

Saviour?

You could de-construct my pieces,
find your way inside.
Tap at the stone
that replaced my heart;
hope to hear an echo.

You could climb into the abysm
that used to house my soul.
Close your eyes in its darkness
find a memory of before.

You could creep into my mind;
find the joy that someone stole.
You could.
I wish you would.

But you won’t.

Friday 9th August 2013 10:55 pm

Paying The Price

I have no future

so I look back.

Dwelling in the present

drowning in the past.

I second guess

over what, at first,

I acted upon.

I shut the gate

lament the spilled milk.

I left

I did not look back.

Only to do so now.

No future do I see there.

exactly the same

as I did then.

I can only look behind

where I existed.

...

Thursday 30th August 2012 7:18 pm

Temporum Vitae

So it’s Spring
and we’re running through the park
smiling and laughing
noticing every little thing
like the gleam of morning dew
or the blush of your cheeks
on a warm afternoon.

Summer now
and there’s so much more to do
so much more life
but so much less…new.
Still, the sun shines, so we make hay
we dwell in our company
and wish these summer days
wer...

Thursday 30th August 2012 7:17 pm

Adrift

Cast adrift by mutinous thoughts,

he is treated like jetsam.

He is flotsam, forgotten in the wake.

Thrown away; a claim without a stake.

A sea of darkness;

a briny torture chamber,

crashing at his shattered mind,

as salt fills his mouth,

from eyes above,

from turbulent flow

below.

No life jacket here,

no buoy to cling to,

he floats...

Thursday 3rd May 2012 11:50 pm

Vegas Vagrant

Roll up! Roll up!

For a trip to the US!

A fabulous journey

from the East to the West!

A baker's dozen of strangers

and a gaudy painted van!

A cavalcade of camp sites

for this intrepid tourist clan!

The trip of a lifetime,

or so they say!

Until the journey's nearly over

and we end up out Vegas way!

Then after two nights

among ...

Friday 13th January 2012 3:32 pm

You in the gilded cage

You sit and you sing

in your gilded cage.

watching with wary eyes

as I sit on the sill outside,

cold and huddled down;

just a dirty, downtrodden pigeon.

Nothing like you.

Chirping for attention

and the lies you're fed,

you dare to judge.

Sing that success

is a cage like yours.

Scoff that I choose instead

to be outside in the cold.

...

Wednesday 9th November 2011 9:09 pm

All Saints

Pain staring
Through stained glass eyes
Resting on a world that I despise

I feel the heat of my hatred,
Self worth incinerated
Charred by thoughts gone bad.

Disciples lost,
Like sheep, to the wolves.
Fed to the dogs
In gilded bowls.

Abused and used,
Enslaved to the gods
And lies they gave.
In a grave they made.

So I last and I stare
In a prison of their worship
Where they s...

Thursday 3rd November 2011 11:55 pm

Washed Up

Tossed aside like flotsam

carried on your breaking wave.

I tumble to the sand,

a single piece of something more

forgotten and broken.

It isn't like I blame you

you know I never could.

The allure of something new

something shiny,

something whole.

To fix a broken thing

takes time and so much more

it takes a patient ear,

a soothing to...

Monday 8th August 2011 7:35 pm

Mind Over Matter

Take me into your sweet mind

show me all the things

you need me to find.

I want to serve you,

allow you to serve me

now one, who once were two.

Twist me in your lust,

lash me to your heart.

Let this be.

Just the start.

Monday 8th August 2011 2:22 pm

We can write what we want, but you can't...

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I think that it's awful double standards to remove the blog entry 'To Whomever' by Daniel John Hall Kleinmeier. Whether you agree with his views or not, you cannot tell him through your comments that you can write what you want, only to then remove his blog from the list. A lot of you will know that my poetry is more morbid than anybodys so I don't agree with his views, but I respect that th...

Sunday 7th August 2011 10:13 pm

Dead of Night

On a moonless night

In a haunted scene

Wherein the dark

was pure and clean

I turn and contemplate

the absent sky

A prisoner of the frigid bed

on which I lie

I witness the crawl of dread

and shattered dreams,

Whose shards

My heart do shred.

Sunday 10th July 2011 8:50 pm

Whatever...

Why is it that we think

That we have to try and be

The person that somebody else

Wants us to be?

And why is it that we strive

To perform for everyone around

To get them to admire

The plays that we contrive?

Why do we pile the pressure on

And drive ourselves so hard?

To please and impress

Until the real us is gone?

And why is it t...

Thursday 23rd June 2011 3:24 am

I'm Alright

Sometimes I get to thinking,
That I'm alright.
Sometimes I get to thinking,
That I'm alright.

I'm not alright,
But sometimes I think I am

One day I'll be alright
And maybe
That's the day
When I won't have to think
Anymore.

Monday 13th June 2011 10:39 pm

Solitary

It's dark here.
I sit alone,
Naked and abandoned.
Cast in my own company.

The black looms closer,
I can't see my hand,
Can't feel my face.
Lost in my own disgrace.

I scream
Until my lungs are raw.
The sound reflects back
A cry only I can hear

Where are you?
When I need you,
To chase away my fear?
It's dark here.

Friday 20th May 2011 10:50 pm

Rabbit Hole

Trapped in an ever decreasing maze,

Where every footstep erases the last,

Where dark and shadow obscure the light.

I dream of the sun, but feel only rain.

With all my hopes and dreams

Open for dissection,

I cling to the walls for protection

But even their solid support

Is an elaborate deception.

For every shallow smiling face

And every promise...

Monday 11th April 2011 12:37 pm

The Little Things

It's the little things,

That weigh you down in the end.

Like never having the chance

to get to know a father figure

or the thousand missed chances

because you don't realise in time,

or you're just not interesting enough

to cut it.

Disappointment hits,

like a plastic frog in the oven.

And you realise that the best days

have gone by without being ...

Tuesday 1st March 2011 1:54 pm

Break My Heart

Break my heart,

but don’t lead me on.

Play your part,

until the deed is done.

Leave your mark,

branded on my soul.

Whispers in the dark,

my secrets you’re told.

Smitten from the start,

I watch my love unfold.

Break my heart,

but don’t lead me on.

Monday 28th February 2011 4:03 pm

Dreams

In my dreams I have touched your skin a thousand times,

I have run my hand along your graceful curves and felt every groove,

every goose-bump, every pore.

I have touched your hair and pressed its silk to my lips,

smelled its sweet perfume and rinsed my hands in its luxurious flow.

I have held you tightly, I have held you softly.

I have kissed and caressed and worsh...

Tuesday 22nd February 2011 7:13 pm

Discovery

I don’t want to break you,

or hurt you.

I don’t want to change you,

or improve you.

I just want the chance

to get to know you.

To discover the things

that make you laugh,

the silly things

that make you cry

and those self-indulgent moments

that make you sigh.

I want to know

your favourite colour,

your favourite place.

your f...

Wednesday 16th February 2011 3:47 pm

Flotsam

Hidden from the world in a cold, dry box

forgotten until the sullen morning breaks.

Tumbling from the prison into a deluge;

submerged in coco brown liquid.

I flounder without a paddle,

desperate to swim against the tide.

The slurry stirs with my efforts,

threatening a murky oblivion.

The bistre water ris...

Thursday 10th February 2011 5:00 pm

Valentine

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The softest touch to gossamer skin,

a finger stroke of desire and lust.

I stare into your eyes,

as they stare into mine.

You seem to see me,

and yet see through me

a pale blue gaze

that sees a world beyond.

I slide my hand into yours

as I lay you down,

the earth our bed;

star spattered sky our canopy.

No-one will know you

lik...

Monday 7th February 2011 4:22 pm

Breakwater

Stoic in the face of the rain,

I watch it wash

the stars from the sky

And fill the gutters

with their softly twinkling light.

A glittering deluge

To flood my pain

And flow over broken barriers.

A tsunami of awkward reasons

To hide my fear of drowning alone.

Monday 7th February 2011 10:57 am

Dear Diary...

I think she looked at me today, diary!

She did, she really looked at me.

And yesterday was the best day!

Because she spoke to me!

It wasn’t the greatest chat:

she told me that I was in her way

and of course, she was right, I was!

I stepped aside and let her on the bus.

Maybe this means she really fancies me,

it means I have a chance!

Things ar...

Thursday 3rd February 2011 3:35 pm

Deliverance

As regal as I get,
As vulnerable as I can be.
I push through tranquility
And into exhaustion.

Stuffed to bursting,
Eager to release.
I intrude onto the White
And deliver my sacrifice.

Friday 28th January 2011 11:15 pm

Lullaby for Thermopylae

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With thanks to W.B. Yeats for the 'blood-dimmed tide' line :-)

Rest your weary head soldier,

lay your spear at your side.

The odds are stacked against you,

the rocks can no longer break

the blood-dimmed tide.

Your shield is your pillow,

but it cannot protect you

from the darkness behind closed eyes.

Or a sky made black by arrows

and the ...

Friday 14th January 2011 1:13 pm

La Sombra

I can’t see the light anymore

only the darkness.

In a room full of candles,

I bring the shadows.

My mummified heart

beats a dusty thud

inside my chest;

a funeral drum.

I am the ghost of Christmas past,

Christmas present

and Christmas future rolled together;

a morbid apparition.

I take love

and turn it into misery.

I take ...

Thursday 23rd December 2010 2:43 pm

One That Got Away

I love the times that we talk together

I love the sound of your voice

and the way your eyes sparkle

as your laughter curls

around my heartstrings and tugs.

I cherish any moment spent with you

I find myself wanting more

than just a quick chat, a shared joke;

A rumour whispered

and a dream exposed.

But I am not the man for you

though you may...

Thursday 23rd December 2010 2:40 pm

Revelation

And the sky burned in brilliant reds

as the sun rose from behind the horizon.

I beheld a glorious dawn of days;

a rapture of the soul.

I cried out with the joy

Of the newly converted.

Surrounded by a cathedral of trees,

Crowned by that nimbus of light.

And as the last of the winter leaves

shimmered in splendour about me

I understood a simple truth:

so...

Wednesday 1st December 2010 9:56 am

Loves Label Lost

I have a shelf,
And on that shelf
There are jars.
Some labelled,
Some not.

There is one jar
I've been trying to find
Hidden in
Amongst the others;
Identical from the outside.

That jar
Was always labelled
But now that label's gone
And I can't find
The right receptacle.

I opened a few
In my hunt
And have to admit
To being skeptical
Of ever finding it!

...

Tuesday 9th November 2010 1:48 am

Castaway

It was wrong of me
to throw my problems onto you.
To tar you with my brush
to expect you to care
to need you to be there.

What are we but a by-product?
The detritus of the life we lead.
And who am I to lay this on you?
To demand more of you
To want a rock to cling to.

And so I let you go;
Cast myself off from your rock
Let the burgeoning waves
carry me far fro...

Tuesday 9th November 2010 12:12 am

The Afflicted

I have no idea if this is any good. Seems mostly stream of thought to me but it needed to come out, so here it is:

Life is an affliction
from which we never recover.
Enter the world screaming
And never stop.

Life seems fit to torment;
a torrent of dark abuses
gilded with a veneer
of calm civility

Smiling assassins;
sheep forced into wolves clothing.
We lash ou...

Thursday 4th November 2010 12:21 am

The Witching Hour

He lies awake, eyes wide

An excited shiver warps his body

As he waits in the witching hour

For her.

On this special night

When the umbral veil is thin

And worlds, once repelled, collide

he can again

Hold his lover tight.

The clock chimes midnight

and the room is filled with unholy light

as she comes to him,

floats majestically through ...

Friday 15th October 2010 12:43 pm

Requiem - A Response

She stands and weeps

as the rain seeps through her clothes.

She stares at the cold, frank headstone

and can almost feel his presence near.

She whispers things

that she always felt the most

and wishes she had told him

when he was more than just a stone

Friday 24th September 2010 8:27 am

Requiem

A young man stands beside a girl

dressed all in black.

She weeps openly as she bows her head

he tries to comfort her.

Her heels sink into the mud

as the rain patters off dark umbrellas.

She stands just mouthing words

he doesn’t want to hear.

He listens and watches her tears glisten

but he can’t help her now.

If she’d had said those words

just days bef...

Tuesday 21st September 2010 10:57 pm

How

How lonely is the cloud as it wanders?

How crowded are the daffodil hosts?

How long can I listen to the empty beat?

How long can I stand the echoes?

A hollow life and a sunken heart

my gifts to the world.

A false hunger and desperate need

my concerto of wasted words.

How far can the crow fly on broken wing?

How much does a blind man miss the sky?

...

Tuesday 21st September 2010 10:04 pm

You

You are my favourite thing.

I could watch you all day,

listen to you for hours

and bathe in the luxury

of your company.

You brighten my days

and enliven my nights.

You turn a mundane task

into a job worth doing

and turn a chore into a joy.

I need nothing from you

but your friendship.

I expect nothing from you

but the gift of your p...

Monday 20th September 2010 1:33 pm

Bite The Bullet

Sitting with the gun,

Staring at its dead black eye,

a cycloptic reaper.

The end of all things,

Just a finger stroke away.

Yet still I linger.

Do I greet the end?

Welcome the darkness gladly?

Stop the sorrow now?

Perhaps I should wait,

Pray for better tomorrow,

A much brighter day.

Can future hope be,

Enough to stay my finger?

...

Monday 13th September 2010 2:24 am

Bullet

Same Old Tired Shit

Struggling,

like a sickly kitten in a burlap sack.

My hands weakly claw at the fabric

and it scratches bloody patchworks

on my flesh.

Lying,

oppressed by the need

to feed on my own misery.

To deny my mind the respite

of hope and fragrant optimism

Indulging,

in my new obsession.

Flowing words from mind

to fingers to page.

Cathar...

Tuesday 7th September 2010 6:49 pm

Stop

Stop my crippled heart

From beating down

Every hopeful door.

Stop my shattered mind

From falling into

Every dark hole.

Stop my futile dreams

From fleeing

My hollow, empty soul

Stop my silent tears

From rolling, please

Stop my silent tears.

Wednesday 1st September 2010 2:48 pm

Shadowed

Deepest despair crawls.

With searching claws,

It tears through my mind.

Hope is hard to find.

Black tendrils ensnare,

Fuelling my despair within;

A suicide siren call.

My shattered ambition,

Is a breach of sanity’s defence,

A twisted obsession

False hope and false promise,

My melancholic trust is broken

And those most belov...

Wednesday 25th August 2010 5:00 pm

Hotku

After attending a workshop that was run by Mike Garry, I decided to have a go at some haiku; this is the result! Go easy, they're not perfect, but they're mine and I like them! :-)

Feverish desire
Quenched between your silken thighs
Lips on lips, skin afire

Lying under stars
Skin to skin we twine in love
Each other; for hours

Climactic embrace
A union of...

Monday 23rd August 2010 8:07 am

Facets

One is a carer,
a mender of hearts.
A rock to cling to;
Wise and generous.

One is a loner,
forever outside.
Fey and aloof,
He stands apart.

This One is a joker,
sarcastic and wry,
witty and glib.
He gives away smiles.

Another is darkness;
an empty glass.
He broods over shadows,
cloaked in shame.

There is one that was love,
so much to give,
but...

Monday 23rd August 2010 7:59 am

Night Watch

The old familiar shadows
cling to old familiar walls
as early morning spins round again.

I lie, eyes wide open, and listen to the rain
I continue the watch; 4am and all is well.
Nobody is sleeping here.

Try as I might, I cannot grasp
the ethereal gossamer threads.
Can't switch my brain off,
I've run out of sheep.

I long to lie in torpor,
or slumber for a week
...

Tuesday 17th August 2010 5:13 pm

When?

When the house is still
And every little noise
Is a threat; an intruder
Into my silent home

When the night is cold
And I wrap my blanket
Tight about my body
To fight off the chill

When the days are long
And the nights are longer
And my time is wasted
On melancholy thoughts

When I'm lonely
When I need a friend
When it all gets to much to bear
That's ...

Sunday 8th August 2010 12:30 am

Waiting Room

Missed my connection,

sitting and waiting.

Staring at the confectionary machine

with hungry eyes.

The waiting room is sterile white,

like a hospital; triage for the commuters.

A place out of the rain,

but No Smoking!

The wait is like eternity;

surrounded by unfriendly eyes.

Backs turned, arms crossed,

no camaraderie here.

We are ...

Monday 2nd August 2010 11:43 pm

Empty Waves

He struggles against the storm,
the waves high above his boat,
He prays for calm.
He seeks desperately for the coast.

What harbour would shelter him?
He, who in the midst of his thunder,
brings disaster to the port, on
the merciless waves of his maelstrom.

He cannot give his all to somebody
while the boat beneath him lists
and wildly dives between
the peaks and tro...