The moon weeps
The moon weeps on my windowsill
Like an elegant woman
Trailing white-gloved fingers
Across my swollen eyes.
Through ashen tears
Shadows wash together
And the hard night
Sniggers.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Comments
Beautiful poem, Cynthia.
Maybe the rising of the new day sun shall avenge her tears!
Keep coming back to this one. Much prefer sniggers to snickers, but it still jars a little to me ... or perhaps it's supposed to?
Lovely poem.
Xx
Good poem,but why the snigger?
Thank you, All. I was moonstruck last night, and felt as though I were born with the universe. I'm pretty sure George B. Shaw used 'snigger' in Pygmalion (certainly in My Fair Lady); so, I'm following the suggestion given as the two words are very close. 'Chocolate' never crossed my mind; and even now, my spellcheck is trying to kick out 'sniggers'. I guess I always thought 'snigger' was even meaner than 'snicker' which is mean enough as a covered laugh behind a hand, very derogatory. 'ashen' stays as the perfect word I want with all its connotations of sight, touch, taste and smell, plus the acidic residue of burning.
<Deleted User> (8753)
Thu 20th Jan 2011 18:58
Cynthia?snikers?, liked the piece but don't get snickers
I like the first 4 lines, very nice. ashen tears, though? To me, it seems both unlikely and cliched. Work that out.
I'd prefer sniggers at the end. Snickers sounds American and chocolatey.
This is wonderful! you are inspiring. Wish I was able to write so much in so few words. Lovely personification of the moon and the cruel night.
Thank you for your kind feedback! glad you like it. :o) take care.
beautiful. x
lovely Cynthia, although I think with Dave on the last line... x
Excellent!
Lovely stuff Cynthia. I've never written a poem about the moon or read as many as John seems to have read about it either.
I love the way the moon is personified but your feelings are projected onto the moon. Night time is the time when the ghosts of all our problems haunt us; I think you communicate that sadness beautifully. xx
simply beautiful, struck a real chord with me :) x
This is the poem of the week cynthia! wowser. Really hit home in its few words... The moon weeps on my windowsill . Brilliant, Win
The moon, a dificult beast for the contemporary poet to play with...such an historic cliche...and yet, so evocative. Tonight's moon is extraordinary (have you seen it?) and yet...is just the billionth moon that has looked down upon us, and all that we are..
This reads to me like two and a half haikus...and it is wonderful.
It is a real gift and a real challenge to be able to wrest something 'more' from the moon.
Lovelystuff.
Jx
chocolate always makes you feel better dont you see ??
Hi Cynthia
I like the first 7 lines very much - they paint a vivid picture. The last line/word doesn't work for me but I'm probably missing something
ah dry your eyes sweet moon maiden interesting question raised as to whose who though
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<Deleted User> (8943)
Mon 14th Feb 2011 07:33
Oooh, how evocative, great imagery but with enough unsaid to make me wonder and create, in my own mind's eye, reasons for the tears... lovely.