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Platform

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Look to the platform on which you stand. 

It is called The Present

and comprises what has gone before.

 

It allows you a squeamishness about death

which your forebears never knew. 

For they lived and died together;

the old, the young,

the sick, the strong;

the flesh of the dead flensed

by time and bird and beast;

their spirits at one with the ancestors

and those of the beasts and the trees

and the earth and the seas;

their bones cherished by the living

as though they still lived.

 

Look to the platform on which you stand –

and see.

◄ Serendipity and Happenstance

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Comments

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Nick Coleman

Tue 14th Feb 2012 18:48

John, The Platform is no railway poem! Very glad that I came across this, read it several times. Yes, we tend to forget that we are living off, and with, the dead.
Thanks for this poem. Oh, and of course as can only be expected from you, even your 'prose' poetry has strong rhythm.

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Dave Bradley

Thu 9th Feb 2012 07:47

Only just found this. Really must pay more attention to blogs. The wisest person I know (as opposed to having read) is a passionate believer that all we ever have is NOW. Which your 'poem' expresses very well, even passionately while raising lovely big questions, as others have said.

And, in the now, saying I enjoyed reading it isn't a bad way to spend a few irreplaceable seconds.

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 8th Feb 2012 22:18


John,
Now look what you`ve made me do - explain myself!

Isobel is right, although you say you only intended to make it look like a poem, It`s not up to you to say whether it is or not.

I said it was `poetic` which it is because:

1..it is portentous. claiming to deal with serious stuff (talking of ancestry, life, death,flesh, spirits,beasts, the earth etc)

2...It is claiming a sort of obligation to forebears who stuck together, were spiritually at one with and cherished their ancestors and nature, and therefore provide a platform upon which we all stand.

3...It commands us to see that this is so.

This is good, poetic stuff, not a bit like the `slice of life` stuff we often get...whether
it is good or not is for others to decide.

I was struck by Fiona Sampsons remark that poetry was about music, and not just Rhyme or meter, but about a kind of grammar. I think she left out sense (in it`s widest meaning)

This `wot you`ve done`is poetically grammatic, but (for me) the `allows` stops all kinds of surmising about modern attitudes to death.

However from henceforth `squeamishness` can hold it`s head high among any poetic company in the world. (`Grudging` is dead jealous)

For Pete`s sake John, don`t give up doing free verse.

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Isobel

Wed 8th Feb 2012 12:42

Well just because you knocked it up in 10 minutes and it isn't to strict form, doesn't mean to say it is prose not poetry. Let your readership decide that. It just proves to me that poetry is in your soul because not all chopped up prose sounds like this :)

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John Coopey

Wed 8th Feb 2012 09:32

I couldn’t resist this little joke.
Spot on,Harry. It isn’t a poem at all but a piece of flash fiction prose (100 words exactly) I knocked up in a couple of minutes.
Then I chopped it up into little lines
Et voila….
Free Verse.
I didn’t realise it was that easy.

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 7th Feb 2012 15:41

Funny, how serious some funny scribes can get.
Seriously, the laugh's on the other side of my face.
Good one!

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Ray Miller

Tue 7th Feb 2012 10:25

Very impressive, John.

It allows you a squeamishness about death

which your forebears never knew.

Very true, very good.

I'd prefer it without "and see" at the end but I'm contracted to moan about summat.


Philipos

Mon 6th Feb 2012 22:14

Agree with other comments on such a thought-provoking topic. And 'Flensing' well, got to be the word of the week. Enjoyed.

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Gareth Writer-Davies

Mon 6th Feb 2012 21:43

Big fan of "flensing" : )

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Isobel

Mon 6th Feb 2012 19:07

I love this John. We don't often get serious poetry off you so it was a surprise reading this. As Anthony says, you don't get bigger themes than life and death and one's own mortality.

I like that first verse. It reminds me of something Kealan wrote - the fact that the present can't really be called the present because everything is past or future. I've never studied philosophy so that had never ocurred to me before.

I don't get any sense of 'enjoy life while you can from this'. The message I take from it is 'accept your own mortality - you won't always be on this platform'

I think that's why I like it. It's quite a spooky poem.

I think in the third world death seems to be accepted more easily - probably because it is more common to lose people. In our society I think sometimes we struggle with the concept of nature - of natural causes - as though we should be able to stop the inevitable.

Sorry for rabbiting - I'm just splurging my thoughts out here. Your poem is great cos it's stimulated that. x

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Anthony Emmerson

Mon 6th Feb 2012 17:47

Hi John,

This is d-e-e-p man! Big stuff going on here. I love poetry that goes for the BIG questions (without being preachy) and asks questions of the reader - rather than offering answers. In other word stuff wot makes me fink.
It's all alluded to here - history, religion, mortality - the BIG stuff! It reads like a "lesson" from a superior intelligence - great audio reading too.

The word "squeamishness" has, for me, a weird kind of synaesthesic onomatopoeia (phew! that woz tuff speling!) if you get my drift. And I couldn't read the word "flensed" without recalling Herman Melville's beautiful language. (one of my favourites.)

You packed a lot in here John. Just goes to show - you're not all t**s and b**s!

A richly rewarding read/listen.

Regards,
A.E.

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Harry O'Neill

Mon 6th Feb 2012 14:40

John,
As good a `Chopped up prosey` as the best.And that `squeamishness` knocks my `trudging` into the undergrowth.

Lines four and five have an impressive nobleness about them (but the word `allows` makes me wonder...is it about the past instilling a kind of fear -or a kind of fastidiousness - about death)

Either is interesting, but the `allows` (for me) confuses rather than intrigues.

A good poetic (rather than novel-ish) use of free verse.

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Poets Corner

Mon 6th Feb 2012 13:43

I agree with our Bessie (above or below) John...great use of words..great meaning and great rhythm...all we fellow Poets have come to expect from you John as you are a Bard! (but I still like 'Ken Dodd's Dad's Dogs Dead') as well...never forget the power of humour Luke!

All the best mate! - Obi one Robbo ...haha!
Hope to see you and hear again soon (if the wife lets you out)lol...

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Laura Taylor

Mon 6th Feb 2012 12:08

Yup - agree 100% with the sentiment in this.

Love the use of 'flensed' - criminally under-used that word.

Like the structure and the capitalising of The Present - it really IS that important. People seem to be incapable of actually living in it, of truly enjoying RIGHT NOW, instead they harp on about the past, fret about the future.

Great poem John


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