Hi Dave. how are you? 'Inside Out' is unknown to me. I don't have a telly! Win x

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Hi Dave and thanks for your comment on my poem 'Autonomy.'
I'm in a miniature poetry phase :-)

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Hi Dave, thanks for commenting on my boat poem, maybe its the fish who had their FREEDOM. Win x

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Good afternoon Dave

Thank you so much for your comments you are very kind.

It seems to me that FREEDOM is a catalyst of circumstance, for example the cigarette crying for freedom is at once set ablaze and is extinguished humiliatingly into the stench of the ash tray who in turn cries out to be set free from its foul labour.

Of course not one of them realising that the cigarette smoker desires to cease his or hers odorous habit and be set free ….and so on.

Once again many thanks
Gus

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Thanks for your comment on my Freedom poem.

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Hi Dave thanks for the bullet comments. In fact I started another some weeks ago which had some very strong similarities to your first stanza! Win x

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Hi - "bite the bullet" - thanks for the comments Dave.
all the best. B

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I'm not so liberated that I don't keep checking my emails a zillion times a day though! Still - it is a good exercise to clear the decks ever so once in a while...
You also made me realise that I spelt Spartacus wrong - I shall correct it immediately. Thanks for your comment.xx

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That's a good enough excuse... last time I stored stuff for people doing a round the world trip, I ended up infested with cat fleas... What a lucky girl! See ya next month then. xx

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Aww thanks Dave - it was a huge shock and honour. Where were you on Thursday - you were missed at the Tudor. x

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hey dave,

i've got a performance opportunity for you :) any chance you could email me? louisefazackerley@hotmail.com

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Thanks very much Dave, both for the lovely comment and the congrats. :)

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Dave, thanks for your feedback on 'cryogenic'. I'm glad you found some interest in there, it was a bit of a stream of...type poem.
I like your 'PapaOscar' poem with the 'rarer/sierra' couplet being a fave of mine. 'Fear/Ikea' is another fun couplet, I have an Ikea/BnQ poem which I would like to share with you, maybe read it out if I see you at a reading. Pete.

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Hi, Dave! Thank you so much for reading my poems "Ballad about the Soldier" and "The Victory Day". Thank you very much for your thoughtful comments.
With warmest wishes, Larisa

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Hi Dave-many thanks for comments on 'T'inking' poem.-Stef.

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Hi, Dave! Thank you so much for your comment on my poem "Life is short". I enjoyed reading your poems. And "The Freckleton Air Disaster" is a great poem. If you have time please read my poems "The Victory Day" and "Ballad about the soldier". I would like to know your opinion about them.
With warmest wishes,
Larisa

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Ta Dave - Ladys Bedstraw. x PS I have added an audio to that poem.

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Hi Dave... Heather said "Does anyone know who wrote Eyam and the Wells? I'm intrigued but I tried googling it and couldn't find a reference." Can you please enlighten her and me :-) Thx Win

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Dave. Thanks for your comments on Anything Goes. The rhyme scheme crept in as a result of listening to Leonard Cohen one day.It's more of a song, I suppose, with Anything Goes as the refrain. It's about literary pretensions, would you believe!

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Hi Dave - thanks for comments on my last two. x

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Oh my Goodness - I've just got it! I was reading it with a french accent before - what a twit! Only you could come up with that! Need to find myself an oar, obviously...Tee hee - you should write a funny french poem - you'd bring the house down!

Yours,

Sleepless from Wigan. xx

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You can be as flippant as you like on my poems Dave - all friendly banter more than welcome!I am struggling to understand your french though - was that the back of a wine bottle?Tell me where you went to get such a clean beach - I haven't managed to find one yet...xx

ps I will read and comment on yours tomorrow. Am tired - I need to sleep. I enjoyed that pasta one at the Tudor though - it was one of those funny groan ones - where each line takes you to new hights...

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brilliant performance at Wigan
Love the 'nude twister' imagary, sounds suburban wife swap ish, super curtain twitchin stuff!

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Thanks Dave - re Love to the Blood and Bone. x

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I see you've got time to put your feet up, Dave! x

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Hi dave...thanks for commenting on "It only Ends Once", much apreciated. win

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Hi Dave,
Thanks for your comment on 'Play Me', glad you liked it.
Cx

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Thanks for nice comments on Dark Moon. x

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Thanks Dave for the comment on my Nightjar villanelle.
I got wrong some of the alternate endings in each stanza but put them right in the mp3 (or vice versa) but you're right that I take a few liberties coaxing in the repeating lines for new contexts!
I write this after we beat Arsenal midweek but before we lose to Chelsea this afternoon!

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Dave, glad you liked First to Depart.Thanks for the kind words.

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Hi Dave - glad you liked my war poem, it's not easy writing about domestic violence without making it clichéd - so I decided to ...erm... make it clichéd! I don't often rhyme these days - it often feels forced to me. I love Papa Oscar Echo Mike - nothing forced about that...very clever!
Cx

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Hi Dave, love your sestina, and that word 'machino' is a stroke of genius!

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Thanks for paying me a visit Dave. Am touched that you liked it. It is probably one of my favourites and I may never find it in me to write one like that again.
Hope to see you at the Tudor next month.
Isobel x

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POEM: 'I wish I'd thought of that'

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Thanks for comments everyone and great reception at Wigan.
The Prisoner is an older poem so maybe could be improved. I'll think about changing it although I've got used to reading it without a problem. (in my humble opinion) I'm usually quite rigorous about line length myself and I've read Stephen Fry's The Ode Less Travelled, although I can't claim to follow his rules to the letter.
Dave

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Hi Dave,
enjoyed your performance at Wigan, nice to see you posting here.
I like the prisoner, it reminds me of how i feel i Debenhams stores. When in Ikea i feel a bit like Dorothy in the wizard of oz. Follow the yellow brick road and you end up back in the same place. ha ha.

Your phonetic alphabet poem is fantastic, really enjoyed reading that one. :-)

Janet.

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Hi Dave

Welcome to WOL. I've enjoyed both your pieces. The second is very clever, I particularly like "Delta" :-)

The IKEA piece is strong too but, would you allow me to offer a supportive comment? I stumbled on a couple of occasions reading it as you have varying line lengths between corresponding lines in the different verses. (Count 'em!)

Forgive me, but I'm a bit obsessive about this, and find that - for comic verse especially, it really helps to get this right as it's to do with the comic necessity about timing.

Because I value the piece (and because I've been awake since Stupid O'clock this morning! Oh, and because I have the same nightmare about the bloody place!), I've been drawn to have a quick play around with it and would suggest a form with lines of 8,6,9,6 syllable length.

Then with a few tweaks and the odd linking word like "and/as/then" etc inserted, there's an even stronger poem in there trying to get out. The same end rhymes and (your very good) jokes, just a bit tighter on the old metre and scansion.

Feel free to tell me to stick this, Dave :-) But, if you're interested then take another look at the piece and then maybe message back here or contact me via my profile page and I could either email my thoughts to you privately or post them up here.

Cheers.

Tony

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Hi Dave, Welcome to WOL. your PapaOscarEchoMike piece is a great idea. Winston

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