I'll be laughing in the hot sun
When this is all gone
In a year long
This will be my song
I'll  finally feel strong

Today I might ache
But it will not stay
Tomorrow, I'll be okay
And one day, I pray
It'll go forever away

I'll be laughing in the hot sun
When this is all gone
In a year long
This will be my song
I'll finally feel strong

Yesterday was scary
My head tried to hurt ...

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Walking down this endless road,

Never knowing which way to go.

Each path seems dark,

each breath

harder than the last,

constantly hiding from the past.

I try to find the strength to move on,

But each time I do, you still want to have

your fun. When will it sink in?

You will never win.

I’m done playing,

You might think you’re staying.

Truth is you’re as temp...

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Watching, listening, waiting

An endless unmoving time

Pain thriving within her

Her heart is far from fine.

Feeling, hurting, crying

An endless stabbing pain

Giving up on trying

Her heart so full of strain.

Retching, whimpering, head swirling

An endless wrath of terror

Her fingers clasping, curling

Her heart forever slain.

Calming, numbing, unfeeli...

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I feel dead inside

I can no longer hide

For so long I've lied

I promise, I truly tried,

But today is the day that I died.

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I’m losing my mind.

Don’t you understand?

I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.

Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…

down into the endless abyss of darkness,

Never destined to land.

You’ve saved me once before,

But this time there are no safety ropes.

I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…

My only hope Is for you to save me now.

I’m losing my ...

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Becoming

Being

Not quite what I was

Not even who I want to be

Not recognizing who I am

Can't go back to who I was

Can't get to who I want to be

Can't figure out who I am

The past kicked me out

But my future won't let me in

And my present won't give me rest

Trying to let go of her

Trying to become the better she

Trying to find the present me

I escaped the m...

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Frustration pouring out of me like flying daggers; hitting the target but not the true source. Truth is I’m mad at God. Dare I say it and let the saints attack. Its ok, that’s all they know how to do. Whew Lord, it’s been a hard day, week, year, and life. I’m already falling under this strife. I been killing it with a praise, and I still got my hands up raised. Pushing threw and giving back, falli...

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Why you do me so wrong 
Why you shit on me all day long 
U do me dirty like a damn tampon 
Haven’t heard from you all day long 
Like cmon 
Look at the shit u be on 
U do me like a damn peon 
What type of love is this 
Why you gotta put me thru this

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So much pain I try to keep it tamed 
We grew up different we not the same
The shit u do is fine the shit I do draw the line
Yo family there when u fall 
My family flat out don’t care 
U had everything 
I had to jugg everything 
I guess sometimes life ain’t fair 
It’s more to me then a ugky face with long hair 
Always been small but ion have fear 
Some nights I couldn’t sleep 
Many night...

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This is me

forgetting you

I still can’t quite believe it’s true

It hasn’t been

too long ago

when I stood up and let you know

I wanted you 

to hear from me

that I loved you, you said:

“You see,

I’ve known a while

it’s obvious 

it’s not your fault, not mine, but “us”

is not something that’s happening 

my words are painful, but they’re real

I’m sorry, I ap...

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Did you ever think

As you slandered my name

Did you ever feel a thing

While you were slithering

Were you ever authentic

While I wore your scarlet letter

Thank God I found my shades

To block out the sun

Blinding me from the truth

I see you puffing your chest

Showing your bright feathers

Like I have no self control

As if it’s biology calling

Now watch...

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{He Tried To Destroy Her}

He tried to destroy her by his sneaky little secrets and little lies that he kept hidden deep down until that dark day she found out about all of his hidden dark secrets that's when her world came unglued 

because she gave her all to this man and then return only thing she ever got was just his lies and dishonesty and secrets and his cheating ways t...

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Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart...it betrayed me one too many times... I love too deeply. And care too excessively... Then I hurt! And the hurt is like so many hurts I have endured...yet so unlike any... Each time it's new...somewhat unique in its anguish...lingering... Stalking me during the day...and as night falls so does my reserve... Proclaimed by the world as a 'strong woman' if only ...

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You hurt me again 

There is no tone of surprise in my voice any more, why should there be? 

You hurt me time and time again and over and over I forgive - I make some weak, half hearted excuse for you

If I forgive you the hurt goes away quicker, until next time when I forget how bad the pain was and disappointment comes crashing down in waves like an avalanche of emotion. I cry and you tel...

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Inescapable. 

Im trapped. 

I can can bang on the walls but to you it just sounds like a knock on the door. 

I can scream until my breath runs short and my lungs hurt but to you it just sounds like a whisper. 

My eyes think it’s an open door and that I can walk right through but my heart shows me that it’s bullet proof glass and I’m only going to hurt myself if I try to leave. 

...

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I never knew How beautiful brown eyes were until I stared into his. 

I never knew that I liked high defined cheekbones until I purposely made him laugh just so I could admire him. 

I never knew tattoos looked so good on caramel brown skin. 

I never knew I could fall in love with him. 

I never ever knew you could lie with someone who isn’t the one you love. 

I never knew yo...

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Bloody Showers

One time in a waking hour
I decided to take a long hot shower.
and to my suprise as i scrubbed,
I saw my knees, were red with blood.

Being dizzy from the night before
I couldnt recall the time i last snored,

"what happened last night?"
I dont remember..
Why my breast was bruised,
and my nails were shattered.

I only saw the day before,
because nighttime whistles, ...

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{Just So Sick}

I'm so sick of 
being so tired 
of being so weak 
all of the time 
due to my 
illness and 
sickness but I 
hope and pray 
it will get 
better for me 
but I honestly 
don't know if 
it ever will 

©Tina Glover All Rights Reserved/One_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer 2017 but posting here on February 21,2018 

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Much like my father this boy that I have intriguingly clung to does not have any appreciation for my existence much less my helpless soul.

I feel like the caring down syndrome child that begs his alcoholic of a father to love him yet the only thing he has spoken is how unmanageable the poor child is.

I am very lost and also heartbroken, I am the dirty tile in the corner of the kitchen that i...

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Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #49 (Doobie-Doobie) 

(Doobie-Doobie)


When the doobie-doobie drugs don't work any more girl you are just a fool if you think love don't hurt because hot damn it does that's why one more blow to sniff until I cannot breathe 




And when the doobie-doobie-doobie don't work any more as one more sniff and one more puff and popping one mor...

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It started in summer

When the bark gave off a sickly aroma

And my shoulders got burnt

I sat in the cooked grass that baked in the sun,

Sharp blades pierced through my jeans

Poking fun at my chubby thighs

But i didn't care

My wrist was throbbing

Screaming at me from within my pulsing veins

He never used to be like this

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I wrote this piece while I was caring for my identical twin brother, following major surgery. Nearly everything you may have heard about identical twins is true.

Brother

The pain of being is not mine, but

my brother's. He cries and howls the Midnight

down into uneasy drowse

as the daylight lifts his covers

over swelling clouds of hurt.

Breaking, I balm him a little,

wh...

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Assumption is blind 
Not knowing what is happening on the other side
The phone doesn’t ring, as he is off the hook and not responding
He doesn’t say what is wrong
Cant send a message as he won’t look to the sky
We’ve been here before
Infected by our new feelings
Bacteria is spreading
Are we making ourselves sick; when we return to the same situation  
Not recovering and using past vaccine
...

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I asked If I wrote for you would you read it? I asked if I still had love for you would you need It? All I can think about is when we on that dock had our first kiss, Cupid shot that arrow and did not miss, How will I get through this? When you asked me to leave caused all this pain, Every day we have been apart has driven me insane.

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Do not waste your tears 

on a guy like me 

don’t blur the picture

your eyes might see 

this is not a loss its a gain 

you can be yourself again 

feel no hurt and feel no pain 

all that fighting left you drained 

all that crying I done caused 

al that lying I would talk 

relieved you ain't wit me 

this toxic love to say the least

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