I looked at the pale face
that face that doesn’t exist
neither alive nor dead
but inhabits the space of one who is no more
It was a nightmare that inhabited me
and suddenly it became flesh
it started to walk, it breathed the need
Death is not an end
it’s not even a rest
It is the continuity of absence
that insists on showing itself

And I saw those bodies
they didn’t know what they we...

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Rest time at bed time is not always the best time 

When I can't sleep.. they say to count sheep 

But my sheep don't help me  they keep me awake 

My eyes scared to close incase my soul they take 

I know it's an exercise to rest one's mind

My sheep in my head are not very kind 

I try to count them jump as they say 

Some of them run in the opposite way 

Some are...

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Come in
Slide behind
Start our rhythm
Get on your grind
Forget my feelings
I'm losing my mind
Don't need real life
To you I'm blind
Can feel every ache
Wish I could rewind
Know I'll always be hurt
To you, I am confined
Just waiting for the day
To be reassigned

Backdated 10/7/19

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Can't sleep
Startled awake
Every turn
I see your face

Her innocence
You try to take
With no exit
Continue the chase

Always running
My hips, they ache
Strength to continue
I must find and embrace

Create an out
These walls I'll break
Try to heal
Memories that won't erase

Backdated 9/22/19

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One foot in as she tests the waters,
Scorching hot, enough to revel in.
Tub over-flows as her body sinks,
Like her heart filled with so much sin.

Flames make shadows dance on walls,
Anxious they jitter from beneath the seam.
Chest tightens under the weight of 100 bricks,
As the air continues to thicken with steam.

Tile floor stained with a crimson splash,
So sure this way she would ne...

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Bedtime

Do you ever lie there at night,

With memories running through your mind

of times gone by, to come, to never be?

I heard meditation lets you slow these down,

See all of them at once or not at all,

To just be there - thoughts floating through your mind

like tiny boats sailing the wind in a breeze,

Peacefully gliding through your consciousness

Like a kite rippl...

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Every moment to fear,

Forever holding back internal tears.

Life- so complicated,

forever indecisive.

The world too big, too scary,

my mind so full of queries.

Never certain, never happy,

each decision could be deadly.

An escapes impossible,

every outcomes implausible.

Sinking under water,

Always being taken for a martyr.

The pain runs so deep,

Barely able to ...

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As the sun peeps out

over misty morning hills

and the dawn chorus calls

with its piercing shrill,

the demons of the night

skulk slowly away,

a sidelong glance

at the few who got away.

He rises and stretches

and with sleepy eyes,

breathes a sigh of relief

and a laughing surprise.

The nightmare lingers

in his foggy mind

until a final shiver

leaves th...

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Nocnitsa

the woods are dark and tangled
and the moonlight jangles white
along a twisted stony path
that leads away into the nowhere
a howling fills the stillness
overflowing like a scrabble
of beetles on porcelain tiles
in the shadows sits a something
with its head a leather pumpkin
oozing cherry-soda pus
and mewling for its mother
who is stalking just behind you
as you stumble thro...

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Please save me from this nightmare
I can't bear to keep on going this way.
I didn't know that this world could be so cruel.

I had tried repeatedly
to make it all ceased
but had failed every time.
I had tried to talk to one
but no one seemed to cared enough
to listen of what I had to say.
I had tried it all over and over again
but nothing changed.

Please save me from all the pain
fr...

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It was ghostly

quiet, not a

living soul around.

No one to

hear my cries.

If I should

die not to

be found.

There was only

silence, I felt

so scared and alone.

To pass away

and it not

to be known.

I clasped my

cross tight in

my hand.

I praye...

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