The festive lights sparkle

Glistening in

The eyes of my strangers

I assimilate insensibly

For it is dark where I am

And they do not understand

Why there is no tree

Innocent laughter tears

Excitement free

From warm-hearted tokens

My gift is emptiness

For it is cold where I am

And he doesn’t understand

Why there is no tree

Smiles of c...

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How can something so sweet, be so bitter?

Your love was something special, it has never withered.

The night sky comes creeping in as a shadow

As soon as the light is gone, my smile fades

The true side of my heart turns old and gray

For I do not wish to keep living this way

The bottle has been too friendly to me, these last couple days

Morning breaks, another night accompl...

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Over and over again the word disappoints me 

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Internalizations of the External

………today I thought I could,

I really wanted to

And I almost did,

But then I hid beneath

The covers and declared

The morning lost.

     Midday came,

I thought of food –

Maybe a cup of tea

To wake me from my slumber,

But the kitchen seemed too distant

To venture, too cold

And far removed from warmth.

     I toy...

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The day suffocates my soul

Each minute sends me further

The more I fight the harder my body fights back

Good things happen but I am blind

The only thing I hear is silence

Faces pass, I smile back only out of habit

My body has learned how to pretend

But my mind will never grasp the concept

My heart aches constantly

It pushes against my rib cage

It is a prisoner trying ...

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Oh deep, dark depression,

my uninvited guest,

the persistence of oppression

is precluding my life’s zest.

The dark before sunrise

of a dawn that just won't break,

suppressed by a thirst for my soul

that only sorrow can now slake.

The wisps that you are weaving

are clouding my damp eyes,

a cold and cloying shroud

that’s covering all that I desire.

...

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The crack of dawn, yet absent of light

Darker than the hours preceding

Only one could dread a new day

But it's a constant battle and endless fight

To rise from this dungeon

To enter this isolated Hell

The morning is slow, yet all too short

Lead weights on all limbs and eyes

No routine, but a mission

To begin each day, Only to distort

The true soul trapped inside

Ac...

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The child in his arms, such a precious gift,

her sweet little smile would make his heart lift.

Born into a love that none could compare,

baby blue eyes framed with curly blonde hair.

Conceived and born on such love filled days,

from the moment he held her he was blown away.

His heart did a flip and his smile was so wide,

his devotion to his daughter could not be denied.

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The stains upon the bar

tell of many sad tales

of love, loss and tragic lives;

and drink to drown out the wails.

Another washed out soul

seeks the solace of the glass,

to wash away the memory

of another broken pass.

Another wheeler-dealer,

another gambling god,

another weary player

bet his life upon the sod.

The rings around his eyes

mark the t...

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The hands of time tick slowly by

as dawn breaks in a new day.

A nightmare reality of

the receding night lies marked,

like so many fading stars,

in the shattered glass on the floor.

Silken shards of sorry souls,

their lives now trapped

in a dream of what was then,

what is now and

what should never have been.

Each broken image,

a moment in time captured

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You wanted to go to a cliff and scream your lungs out but you realized there’s no voice coming out. 

You feel an ache in your heart, the kind where you felt it ripped slowly but you don’t know why. 

You wish to voice out those aching but there’s no words to describe. 

You’re surrounded by oh so many people and yet you feel you’re the only one alive.

You listened to sad songs to make yo...

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A crowded room

is such a lonely place,

wear a fragile mask

upon a weary face.

Everybody’s here

but there’s nobody there

and there’s nothing to do

except sit and stare.

The distant sounds

of joy and laughter

drifting like echoes

in dusty rafters.

As you slowly subside,

sinking way down low

and you're silently wondering

how far you can go.

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He inhales,

Yet again he finds himself feeling six feet under,

covered by life bearing soil

The life in which he ponders how he missed.

He inhales,

This time,

His sorrow and self loathing are lifted away

Into the clouds

This is where they remain

For a time that seems ever too short.

He inhales,

Hoping to never return

To his sad reality.

He can't escape.

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HOPE WITHIN TIME
As another day draws to a close

So similar to yesterday

In my actions and the thoughts I struggle to keep at bay

Time is a thing I cannot control

Each day passes, then a month, another year

As I struggle on, not being able to change becomes the all-consuming fear

The rawness of emotion lessens

The cycle of terrifying darkness broken by hope has gone

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Wish I could turn it off

Buzzing

Whirring

Voices echoing around

Wish I could reboot my brain!

I keep it all inside

All my worries

Fears

Stress

But I'm scared Scared I'm going to crack up

There's only so much I can think about

Keep it bottled up

Even though it's not healthy

I need to release the cork

Don't want to be in that dark place again

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Im burning thru my own world, its like I'm on fire,

i dont know how i got here ,could i get any higher?

i dont know why im pacing, but these dones got me estatic,

add a couple xanax to make the situation frantic.

oh shit, im nodding. now its all just tragic.

im getting high off these beans like their fucking magic.

letting go of life, cause the morphine kills the pain..

giving...

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Sitting

Just sitting

Listening to nothing

Loud thoughts

Consume my mind

Curled up in a ball

While these words attack

Insane

Understatement

Demented

Brain sick

Alone

Silence is killing me

But this is the only quiet place to think

Also most dangerous

Depression creeps

As the silence grows

I am no longer myself

Nor alive

I am now one of many vo...

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They say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

You start slicing those lemons

Knife slips

Where's the first aid?

The lemons are too sour to put in a drink

The sugar runs out

The water rusty from the kitchen sink

The lemons keep coming

They're heavy to hold

From innocent lemonade stands

To bags of lemons turning to mold

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Sadness is tears after losing a game or a broken bone, depression is sobs at 3 in the morning when you're all alone. Sadness makes you blue, depression makes you numb. Sadness loses to happy, depression loses to none. Sadness says, "I love you, hold me", depression screams, "I love you, go away!". Sadness is only fleeting, depression brings its bags to stay. Sadness is the curious neighbor, depres...

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