After a heartbreak you never thought would surpass 

After definitively stating you would never allow yourself to be in a position of vulnerability again 

After truly giving up on the idea of love 

Letting a person in again is terrifying 

Allowing someone the capability to destroy you further

But trusting them not to

Delegating your feelings, sharing your secrets and ultimate...

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It is the assumption that people tend to reflect and contemplate in the dawn of the night 

When noones awake to hear the sorrow in your sobs

When it's too dark to see the weakness in your eyes 

And your lonliness enables your imprisoned vulnerability to surface 

But what happens when this negativity suddenly seep its way into the happenings of your everyday life 

When these mor...

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Unrequited love is the destruction of the heart

It is walking across an endless desert occupied with faded mirages that show you beauty like never before

Constantly consumed by its wonder, constantly consumed by the despair for your love for it

She is the mirage, you are the lonley aching fool in an endless desert

You are the one slowly suffocating by the boundless intesity of what you...

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At first love was a pump, a needle,

Eyes wide when your high

...Or see someone you like.

Stifled, we always rivalled

Till no more, the beat became sore

And we spiralled, overdosed,

Hot headed, cold blooded.

Passion became blown out,

The anticlimax of a candle...

Like the heroin ran through her heart,

Like the cocaine contorted her chest,

Like the salvia had shaken ...

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Staring blank-faced at each other 

From across the room

The space between us, a few feet,

Feels as a thousand miles now

Emotionally exasperated

The tears tore through the facade

That we wore for so long

Telling ourselves "we're ok"

We were dead long ago

We were only being buried now.

How did we get here?

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Hey baby, listen to me;
I never thought you'd follow my advice
Though I'm sad, I don't regret,
Seeing the happiness in your eyes.

Hey baby, listen to me;
I know you know me too well,
I wear this façade just for you;
Though I know, I can never tell.

Hey baby, listen to me;
I changed myself just for you,
You know I care about you,
But she's attached to you, like glue.

Hey baby, lis...

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i love you. and i want you in my life, forever and always.
and that's that.

but there are always dark masses that get in the way,
metal bars that prevent our love from seeping through,
and that's that.

we were separated by these bars and I reached out,
trying to kiss you through the small openings between the rungs
but like a slap across the face the cold metal parted us,
and that's th...

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There is a war rallied between our hearts:

some people say love,

other people play love.

But when life becomes a game,

when words can only be spoken by characters,

when breath can only be projected by theatre

then I lose myself...so you lose me....and I risk losing you....

And the curtains fall shut -

Shows over.

And the dice stops rolling -

We lost the bet.

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I think that I was born on the moon.

But it was never ‘written in the stars’,

No,

I think that when I landed here on earth,

My voice was left behind

Because you can’t hear me.

When I talk,

You can’t hear me,

You look up to God for answers...

And you kiss me like your investigating the saliva for my heritage,

You go inside me like your searching for my identity,

Bec...

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He moves a single strand of hair -
her face a common disaster.
Covered in her past -
Relations that never did last.
Liars, cheaters and disappointment.
Men knowing of her worth ,
destroying what she is worth.
An insecurity that cannot
and never will, be covered by a plaster.

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When your in my dreams it's bitter sweet.
I can see your smile
Hear your voice 
Feel your touch
Taste your kiss
Smell your skin
But when my eyes open your gone again.

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I miss you the most on Friday and Saturday nights
Whether you were here with me or on the phone
When we would be settling down for the night 
Making plans for the weekend
Saying goodnight
Now all I have are horrible thoughts and images running through my head

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Day after day the shards of my broken heart cut deeper and deeper, searching for the piece of my soul that no longer inhabits my body.

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Everyday it gets more and more real.
When I see your name on our son's emergency contact list
When I want to message you about something dumb someone said at work so we can laugh
When I can't reach for the phone to call you
When I pass by one of our spots 
Everyday is lonely 
Everyday is miserable
Everyday I lose you all over again.

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I will crave your touch until we meet again.

All I can do now is close my eyes and hope to dream of you.

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It gets harder and harder each day. 
It's constant sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, confusion, anger and what if's.
It literally hurts.
It never stops.

So much of me went with you.

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What do you do when such a huge part of your EVERYDAY life is just gone? A complete void that appeared instantly overnight.

You have shoes here, a toothbrush, clothes that I've slept in almost every night for the past 2 years, tons of toys/games you bought our son, things you bought me, your #1 on my speed dial, your profile on Netflix, our cat Spooks that you named, everything is still here......

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It's all a trap,

You say just one drink, won't hurt right?

Just one line, I won't do it again.

Just once , I want to try the needle to see what the big fuss is about... 

I'll just kiss you once , like you won't break my heart.

Just to flirt with death and heartbreak seems to be an addication itself.

Flirtation, the most innocent form of doing something that will lead to something...

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Lips: like cliché cartoon roses.

Yes, red.

But open up my mouth,

Those lilies will  -   snap.   -   You.  -   Up.

Thorn in your side.

I think we used to fly with the bats,

The doves always ended up on our dinner table,

I told you it was chicken.

You choked me with Amen,

You squeezed me with your hand for grace,

For grace, from grace I fell

Down from the heaven...

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I think I’m addicted to acting the way,

Behaving the way,

I feel:

Shit.

No, I never meant to-

I-

No, I never intended to-

I-

didn’t set out to break your heart

I think that it came naturally to me...

Snapping those heart strings it’s what

I-

It’s what I’ve always done best.

Affection is a weapon they say,

Charm is a murderer they say,

The blood you lose...

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They

She hurts

still

I tell myself to let her go

Is it her I miss?

just the idea?

just the company?

actually i miss them all

they all still hurt

soft skin

sweet thoughts

kindness to strangers

weaker creatures

makes a man comfy 

just for a little while

then they hurt

they tear my gut space

suddenly I’m the Sunday funnies

and they lose weigh...

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