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Dark humour (Remove filter)

Celebrant

Dear Friends and family members

Gathered here to celebrate

And rake over my life’s embers

So sorry that I’m late

 

I intended to be on time

For this, the concluding event

Commemorating in songs and rhyme

A life well spent

 

Only the traffic lights were down

And it just kept getting worse

With anxious mothers on the school run

Stuck behind the funeral hearse

...

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funeral poemsdeathsocial satireDark humourlife after death

The Aussie Pomm (warning, Adult humour)

THE AUSSIE POMM.

Now, as you all know ladies. When a new mans in your life.
You groom your airs and graces to portray the perfect wife.
We are all so very concious of the things you musnt show.
Be discreet and feminine,  that's all he needs to know.
Now I know that all you ladies have to have all things just right. 
Especially on your wedding day and more so WEDDING NIGHT.
Well, it just s...

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Funny Poemslong poemsDark humourhumourpoetry

'Double' Act!

'Double' Act !

 

In Nineteen Ninety Four,

a young man took the floor

for the television show, “Stars in Their Eyes”!

He was, ‘hips-to-feet’ in plaster

as he struggled out, to master

his new crutches, in a bid to win the prize.

 

The host (then), Matthew Kelly

introduced him on the ‘telly’,

saying “Simon, what a plucky guy you are.

I’ve been told, a year ago,

...

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Dark humourhumorous poetryhumorous versehumour

THE SHIP THEY CALL "ALZHEIMER'S"

THE SHIP THEY CALL 'ALZHEIMER'S'

Hello my friend, welcome aboard

The ship they call 'Alzheimer's'

There's forty thousand under sixty-five

'Young onset' to 'Old timers'

 

It doesn't matter what you call it

The umbrella term's 'Dementia'

On the ship they call 'Alzheimer's'

Every day's a new adventure

 

Forget your hip replacement

And your osteoarthritis

They we...

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Alzheimer'srantingSelf-awarenessdementiahealthDark humour

The 2nd Parakeet

The 2nd Parakeet

 

I had a beautiful parakeet

when I was a child

One day, its foolish feathers failed to shine

and was found in the sawdust at

the bottom of the cage

Wise Mother

Knowing the upset this would cause

rushed out to the store for a replacement

and picked the perfect imposter

coloured plumes in symmetry

copycat curve to the beak

and inquisitive shin...

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Dark humour

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