Desist from your rave and your rant,

But indulge in hypocrisy and cant.

Dead Yemenis are boring,

Europeans, alluring.

Oh look, there’s a rather large elephant!

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But sir, it wasn’t us, it’s so unfair,

We’ve only been in power for nigh twelve years,

It was our friend le Putain, over there,

Made of the NHS such great pig’s ears.

It wasn’t Hunt spelled with a C who wrote

That pamphlet saying “Kill the NHS”,

It’s old gits, and those refugees afloat,

It’s them that’s got the UK in distress.

Oh look at that, a dead cat in th...

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A little memory with my favourite animal 

The wrinkled grey skin

And that playful grin,

 He drew out his trunk

And from the bark he took a chunk.

With that sparkle in his eye,

He certainly wasn’t shy.

We had a connection,

A friendly affection.

In the water he gave a whimsical splash,

With that the day ended in a flash,

Until we meet ag...

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Like a tourist, always exploring

Not countries though No airplanes needed

Just a head full of air, Totally unaware 

Of any pain that maybe caused

There he goes 

Packing that ol' case of his again

Or should that be Trunk?

Elephants sure did have a

Habit of occupying every room

He went in to

Maybe one day 

He'll open a zoo

Just with Elephants

His life...

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It's 3 - sometimes 4 in the morning,

When I wake to the terrible tread

As the elephants stamp by on the staircase

To lumber around overhead.

It's 3 - sometimes 4 in the morning,

When sleep leaves and I wake up instead;

At times even daylight is dawning 

When the elephants tramp home to their bed.

But real jumbos are famously quiet,

Their steps are...

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