Pie and mash, Pie and peas
Pie filled with cash grown on trees!

How do I grow a great big pie 
can someone please explain to me 
Not filled with chicken, steak or cheese 
but one that’s stuffed full of money 

I need to grow a great big pie
a pie to feed the whole country 
An equal slice for everyone 
so no one will ever go hungry 

Some people say you can’t grow this pie
they may...

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I wish I was a fish
living in the Turkish sea
Not a care in the world  
swimming around wild and free 

With no need to worry
nothing to cause anxiousness 
Facing each brand new day 
without concern or distress
 
My time would be my own
with no deadlines to be met 
No financial concerns 
with no fear of loss or debt   

I wouldn’t feel the cold  
and I’d always be well fed 
Thanks...

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In a house built from wooden doors 
how to enter is not so obvious 
To fill the front door space with a gate 
quite simply a work of genius 

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The cow was in the play park 
enjoying the Turkish morning sun
Looking at the seesaw and swings 
he said "they look like lots of fun" 

Watching on from the stone wall
was the most mischievous cat 
He said "you won’t fit on them
all that grass has made you fat"

"Well" said the cow with a snort
"that’s enough of that back chat"
He turned and swished his long tail
seeing off that catty...

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There once was a little lamb
as black as the darkest night 
Apart from his eyes and nose
where he wears a mask of white 

Just like a super hero
in his black and white costume 
Here comes Spiderlamb
star of the next blockbuster cartoon

Photo credit Sue Wilkinson and Herdy UK
 

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Four little baby bunnies
just chilling and munching on the grass
When they run and hop around
they show their white bob tail tufty ass 

They are so cute and cuddly 
I would love to sit them on my knee
But then I would be worried 
about the amount they poop and pee 

So for now I think I’ll leave them be 
as they eat, play, hop and run 
I’ll just watch them from a distance 
as they en...

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Inspired to have a go at my own version after reading the Brian Bilston version which includes music acts and groups. It is just for fun, no offence intended. 
 

Our Finger
who heart in human
hammertoed be thigh frame
thigh duodenum gum
thigh will be bum
in birth as it is in human
Gut us this disc our brain and head
and forgive us our bodily gasses 
as we forehead those who bypass vein...

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In a state of sheer panic
I’ve not written my poem for today
Nothing much to write about
and no words of any interest to say 

So I write about nothing
because I feel the need to write something 
It is nonsense and pointless 
but anything is better than nothing… or is it?

Then I remembered I hadn't posted one from Monday!!

It is the last day of January
thirty one days have...

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It's not my party, I'll deny it if I want to
Deny it if I want to
Deny it if I want to
You would deny it too, if it happened to you

Nobody knows where my integrity has gone
Truth and trust left at the same time
Don’t they know the rules don’t apply to me 
I’m not guilty of any crime 
 
It's not my party, I'll deny it if I want to
Deny it if I want to
Deny it if I want to
You would de...

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Here you come again
Just when we’ve begun to get ourselves together
You waltz back through the door
Just like you've done before
And mess with our lives a little longer 
Here you come again
Just when we were looking forward to life without you
You creep back in under a brand new disguise 
And soon we’re wondering will we ever be done with you
all you do is change your covid style 
And th...

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Getting ready for Christmas 
feels a bit different this year
I’m feeling rather humbug
and not so full of festive cheer

Gift shopping is such a drag
putting the decks up is a chore
I’m finding the preparations 
a bit of a dreary bore 

I’m hoping by next weekend 
I will be in a better mood
Looking forward to the big day
and stuffing myself with food

I’m wishing by Christmas Eve 
...

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I should know better
after seventeen years as a GP
I should know how to avoid
being caught out by baby pee

It was a school boy error
a little mistake made by me
On the plus side it gave such joy
to todays GP trainee
 

Photo Credit Dr Amir Khan 

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Today I learnt a new fact
that I want to share with you
This data brought me a smile
I hope it brings you one too
 
The term “Puggle”
is the name for a baby platypus
Feel free to pass it on 
as a smile can be infectious

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New travel rules are not going away
and right here for now is where I will stay 
I'm just a woman without conviction
I'm just a woman who does not know
How I can take all this contradiction
We come and go, then can’t come and go

Travel plan chameleon, travel plan chameleon
We come and go, then can’t come and go
Travel would be easy if your rules were just a bad dream
Red, amber, green, ...

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Look what I found sprouting from my wall
Standing proud despite being quite small 
This plant so fertile 
Raised a cheeky smile 
Sadly it’s bloom will bring it’s downfall 

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I can’t help feeling cheated
I am green with envy too
Seeing others having fun
When I have nothing to do

Those beautiful photographs
They are everywhere I look
On the news, in the paper
Images shared on Facebook 

Those pretty, perfect pictures
Those scenes broadcast on TV 
They feel like another world
They are alien to me 

This week I have been blessed
With sunny days and skies ...

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Is this a photo of two rabbits
one looking west one looking east
looking out for predators
on the hunt for a lunch time feast 
Or
Is this a rabbit with two heads
as seen with your own two eyes
it is said that seeing is believing
and that the camera never lies

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Every morning at 6.30
I switch on my TV
Monday to Wednesday
they are live on GMB

His name is Mr Shouty
he is loud with a lot to say
She is Little Miss Pouty
she is perfect in every way

They make a TV couple
often with different views
Tackling current topics
discussing the daily news

Like a dog with a bone
Mr Shouty can't let things go
Little Miss Pouty sits saintly
under her v...

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Red Robins are like buses
I wait patiently each day
When I least expect them
in pairs they come my way

They come in to my garden
never resting in a good spot
I try to get a great photograph
never getting the perfect shot

I think they come to tease me
flashing their feathered chest
All I want is a snowy photo 
of a Robin and his red breast

Photo credit to Mr Robin Ree as I couldn'...

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The key ingredients

that make up a simple recipe

A sunny winters day

shared with friends and family 

A clear blue sky 

add a little warmth from the sun 

A dusting of snow

the perfect mix for hours of fun

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In the USA
A temporary circus came
A man who wished to rule the world
And Donald was his name
One dark night
He twisted everyone's brain
And he became the president
and the USA never was the same

Donald Trump became the president
And created a White House circus
He ran the show like a trumpety trump
Trump trump trump

Donald the president divided the USA
And abused his twitter acco...

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When the sun doesn't shine and it's cloudy and grey
And it's only the beginning of another lockdown day 
And you've got nothing else to do but wish the day away

Chorus: Remember, remember, remember, remember Remember, remember, remember (member, member, member) 
Remember you're a Human
(Remember you're only Human) 
Remember you're a Human
(Remember you're only Human) 
Remember you're a H...

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The new virus strain

Brings us more pain

The advice is plain

Stay on home terrain

We must all refrain

Travels plans abstain

In our own domain 

We should all remain 

Let me explain 

Please use your brain

Common sense retain

Help break the chain

There's a new campaign 

To vaccinate our vein

To immunise and obtain

Our freedom once again

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Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Try with all your might
For this time
Not to stay with others over night

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Only for one day
For this time
We hope coronavirus will stay away

Here we are in these Covid days
More pandemic days in store 
Family and friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us no more

In future years we all will be together
...

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A cross legged carrot

Desperate for the loo

Brought a smile to me

Hope it brings you one too

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/vaccine-way-uk-lorries-packed-23106634

The vaccine is coming 

The vaccine is coming 

The vaccine is coming

The vaccine is coming 

The vaccine is coming 

The vaccine is coming

Coming for everyone

The virus news is ever changing

We hope to embrace our loved ones near and far

There's a shared celebration among us all

So let's com...

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Vaccination prediction cheers up a nation
A nation waits in anticipation of confirmation
Confirmation is temptation for a celebration
Celebration of a population held in isolation
Isolation stops the circulation around our nation
Nation longs for termination and elimination
Elimination requires introduction of vaccination

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To Sir with Love

Said the Letter in my tray

It wasn’t for me

It was an Ode to Billie Joe,

I turned and left the building

On a dark and windy night

I wandered, lost and alone,

I saw a church full of people

I knelt at the back

And told God, I am a believer

I threw of the chains of sadness

I felt a spirit inside

Lighting my fire, with love and desire

I said some...

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I am just going to come right out and say it

yes, I have an obsession

Now is the time for me to tell the truth

so here is my written confession

Embarrassingly I admit to stockpiling

yes, I know it is only September

If I don't buy them all as soon as possible

they will all be gone by December

They are four pounds each in Sainsburys

in Asda two for seven pounds

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What is it with all the Christmas talk

do they not know it's still September

I am thinking of starting a campaign

to just keep Christmas in December

The news fast forwards us into Spring 

but there was one other report today

As if the news couldn't get any worse

“it's three months until Christmas day”

The sofa adverts started a month ago

tubs of celebrations ar...

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Coffee and cake is always a pleasure to share

Raising funds for Macmillan shows that you care

This year gatherings are limited to only six

The reason I came up with an alternative fix

My little poetry book is available here today

Attempting to raise funds in a different way

Eating cake will last for a moment on your lips

Eating cake will sit for a lifetime on your hips

This...

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Wash, wash, wash your hands

keep them nice and clean

warily, warily, warily, warily

be sure to practice good hygiene

Cover, cover, cover your face

your mask is your screen

cheerily, cheerily, cheerily, cheerily

although your smile can not be seen

Keep, keep, keep your space

two metres is the scheme

merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Hands, face, space the...

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"Here I sit, broken hearted

Paid a penny but only farted"

Have you ever read this little ditty before

It was etched on the back of a toilet door

Vandalism was common way back then

Graffiti often scrawled in marker pen

Alongside a declaration of I ❤️U and

A heart drawn around the initials of two

I woz ere, me4U and 2gether4ever

It was never big, it was never clever

I p...

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In the pandemic tombola

he pulled out a six

Picked the magic number

from his box of tricks

He gambled with lives

rolled a six sided dice

Cards on the table

six of hearts looks nice

It was lucky for Henry

but not for his wives

Ruling only six to mix

will protect all our lives

Keep six feet apart or

end up six feet under

A master plan or

an...

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You kept your whole self in

You ate out just to help out

In out, in out

Your mind is shaken all about

You do the hokey cokey

And u-turn around

That's what it's all about

Woah it's not a big jokey

Woah the rules get smokey

Woah join in the karaoke

Rules bent

Rules stretched

Ra Ra Ra

Should you keep yourself in

Should you stop going out

In out, in ou...

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Every cloud has a silver lining

I struggle to find one in these difficult times

The regulations change daily

A challenge to adapt to new rules sometimes

Today I found that silver lining

I conform and wear my mask with grace

Because it hides the horrendous cold sore

That has been blessed upon my face

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Last night we saw a programme, we had never seen before

It is called the Joy of Painting, first broadcast circa 1984

It took us just a few minutes, to realise it wasn't a joke

A blank canvas, some paint and a gentle speaking bloke

He introduced us how to create a painting from the very start

His enthusiastic manner, guiding us through his work of art

Such a simple ...

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To keep him safe and sound, all those years I tried

To nurture and protect him, all those times I cried

The cut fingers, burst lips, scabby knees and elbows

Arguing over homework, school day highs and lows

When he was sad and hurting, I would take his pain

When he felt down and low, I would take the strain

The time came for him to fly, it hurt to let him go

To keep my dis...

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The grass is always greener on the other side

The cows stretched and strained, they tried and tried

The leaves off the oak tree make a tasty treat

Despite their best efforts, the cows now accept defeat

The grass is always greener, fresh leaves taste so good

Unsatisfied and grumbling, they return to chew the cud

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{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #13} {No Southern Belle's Or Gentleman Far As My Can See} 

If this is the

main street

where southern

belle's `n` 

gentleman are born

at please stand

them up in a

line for the

world to feel

pity for the

red,white,blue

trashy redneck's

`n` hillbillies

which means

you too 

Because I

don't se...

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