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christmas (Remove filter)

Chrismus in t’ Asylum

T’Chrismus Gammon have gone spittin’ mad,

‘cos t’asylum seekers are gooin’  AWOL

fer Chrismus; aye, here in t’UK it’s reet bad,

there’s nowt reawnd ‘ere but strife on’ trouble,

so t’forinners‘re seekin’ asylum back whoam!

Gee Beebie News‘re ‘avin’ a meltdown,

they’re at it like rabid dogs wi’ a bone,

parliament’s an asylum, on’ t’loons‘re in charge,

con wi not send ‘em t’li...

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Christmasgammonasylum seekers

They Sent Santa to Rwanda

Breaking News ...

 

They sent Santa to Rwanda

He didn’t want to go

The reindeer got deported too

That’s the last they’ll see of snow

In attempting to circumvent border control

It was deemed an illegal immigration 

Caught in the lights of the aerial patrol

With no proof of destination 

Now he’s in a detention place

The subject of arrest

They’ve digitised (and 3D ...

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SatireChristmasimmigration

Candy Cane Lane

Down On Candy Cane Lane
Several Elves Burst Into Flame
Rudolph Was Sad
But, Santa Was Mad
Knowing Spiked Eggnog Was To Blame.

Santa Put The Drink On A Shelf
Too High Up For Any Elf.
But, The Elves Formed A Plan
And Hired A Man
Who Took And Drank It Himself.

-------
Visit me at Medium.com

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ChristmasSantaLimerickfunny poem

🎄Christmas in motion 🎅

🎄Christmas in motion 🎅

I. Gross Motor Skills

Legs stomp, boots leave tracks in the snow,

Running fast, catching friends before they go.

Building big snowman, arms reach high,

Sledding down the hill, laughter fills the sky.

🌟🌟🌟

II. Fine Motor Skills

Knotting ribbons carefully on rows,

Delicate fingers are nimble, love bestows.

Cutting paper snowflakes, tying colorful t...

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ChristmasMerry ChristmasSantaWinter

Christmas (Christmas Card Poem 2023)

Blowing all over the exposed garden
On Christmas Day
Before yielding to the gusts 
The leaves blow words
Over the frozen ground
Buried in the spotlight,

Pushing our lifetimes
In front of our faces
Tearing us away from our presents 
Like coins in sunken vases
A miracle into a wonderful life
A family drama into a celebration.

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Christmas

Meta Clause

 

Santa's not coming this year

He's sick of all the ‘tech’

Nobody wants the good ol’ stuff

It's all gone a bit Star Trek!

 

Xbox, PlayStation, IPhone,

Fit bit, airpods, Meta!

Will it ever end?

It definitely won't get any better!

 

It may be a feast for the eyes 

But, don't eat those mince pies!

It's a feast for your slumbering belly!

In front of your gamin...

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Christmas

Nativity

How has the shrine of wisdom and manger

Become a nightmare of fear and danger?

Lives tossed aside, like unwanted presents,

Of factory workers and toiling peasants?

How has Christmas, day of celebration,

Been transformed into a desecration,

Where the rocket, mortar, the flag and fist

Are the only currencies which subsist,

And the welcome afforded to a guest

Is replaced b...

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middle eastwarChristmas

The Tough Gig

The invitation came from an anonymous source

With a hint of menace in a note of force

A resolution has been passed

By our High Command

For festive entertainment we want your band

This is not optional, there’s no way out 

We’re ready and waiting so don’t hang about

Be at the Village Hall on the Thirteenth of December

And prepare to deliver an event to remember

There’ll be...

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Christmashumoursatirevillage lifelittle englandnorthern townlight versebands

Everybody's Christmas

It is everybody's Christmas -
It's a time to celebrate.
It is everybody's Christmas -
We've waited so long for this date.

It is everybody's Christmas -
We are planning and preparing.
It is everybody's Christmas -
We are giving and we're sharing.

It is everybody's Christmas -
A time for kindness and good will.
It is everybody's Christmas -
And our stomachs we shall fill.

It is eve...

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Stuart VannerChristmas

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