I keep seeing life in black and white,

Unable to distinguish between reality And the fictional world I built in my head,

Like a mental architect,

Shielding myself from invisible threats,

That silently harm, That suffocate,

That make you believe in constant dangers that don’t exist.

The uncertainty of the future, Regrets of the past,

Loneliness, beautiful loneliness, Visiting m...

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wake up
go to the computer
stare
open the blinds
stare
go to the bathroom
stare
grunt
wipe
back to the computer
look at the news?
no, a buzz-kill
stomach growls
*toot
boil water for tea
wash face
brush teeth
shave off stubble
put on underarm deoderant
steep teabag
put in two slices of toast
sit again
try thinking
don't want to think
try to think again
stare
sip tea
thawi...

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Dark and bleak and empty and bare
This life is hard.. I hate it here.
Voided, eroded, saddened... barren of joy
Helpless, hopeless, soulless... a plain white wall
Mopey, lonely, gloomy...why even try
Hungerless, Sleepless, motionless...I might just die
Drowning, not breathing, cant gasp for air
Quiet pain, drenched in rain, not one care
Deserted, isolated, distressed and bored
want to, ...

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Chanting prayers, dreaming of ships just beyond the horizon,

Another day, another hour, just another minute he wishes to live.

No other choice but one, no other food, no other flesh but his own.

No other way to feed his unfortunate child.

In the middle of nowhere, on this desolate rock, he cut his upper arm.

Blood, not a drop allowed to waste, meat, sickening yet juicy sweet

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Another moist, reluctant sunrise
through the night sweat morning dew
emancipated
the worm pushed towards the light
loosely erect

Across the lawn
the over stuffed pigeon
puffed up her unkempt plumage
cooed a taunt
How dare you wake up today
How dare you show that you tried today

Waddling heavily
she pinched him up
gluttony oozing
heaved him away
apatheticaly consenting to his fat...

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Desolation Alley

a weak light rises over the chimneys

the grass is the colour of piss

smog prises its fingers into bronchial lungs

a dog with three legs barrels down the street

curtains stained with inquisitive glances

stare out at the paperboy on a rusty bike

a cat crawls under a red Cortina parked on bricks

November exhales a grey breath on the windows

inside

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Have you ever felt the icecold
gales of aloneness?

I do not mean
lone lee ness
which is something altogether
different –
simperingly subjective
and even desirable
(artistically considered).

I do not mean
dejected
forsaken, forlorn,
deserted or desolate,
neglected or torn;
for those words are shallow
compared to "alone".

I mean aloneness –
some subterra...

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