The sun fairly shines
But the world isn't one
And you wonder why

Of all the places,
All the people,
It has to be in paper

You could pour your heart out
And bleed your pens
With thoughts imprisoning you

It has to be the paper
That hears your complain and growing pain
For you were never heard

Of all the people,
It has to be pillows and blankets
Who calms your raging soul

In ...

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How can you adore me one day

and forget I exist the next? 

Was I just another notch 

in your belt? 

Why can’t you see that your world is 

darker without me,

the one who loves you 

unconditionally. 

Someday it will all make sense.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep convincing myself

you still care.

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https://youtu.be/kjkc7A5XoWk

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Nothing.

Till I woke up 

then you spoke up

screamingng in my head.

Losing that weight again

with words of encouragement

ignoring the ills of my mind

pushing me back to when "You looked so much better".

Look inside.

Whiplash.

Punches.

Ugly words.

Oh no sorry.

You don't want to know

you just want to see

Perfection.

Smile.

Laugh.

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Bipolar one disorder. I did not flinch. Warm and genuine, I liked him right away.

Open mike night. He played guitar. Part of the regular crowd. I had seen him many times, always with a   smile.

Beer was good and we talked over the music. It was only our second meeting, yet the conversation flowed   with ease. Relaxed and natural.

Been a lawyer he had. But not the "good kind" and he gave m...

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I wanted to do a poem today to provoke a thought or thinking about the insanity of taking drugs. I have known many people succumb to Heroin and painkillers, alcohol and it all seems so futile I myself suffered with addiction through mental illness. Its a terrible thing and very dark. So here is my attempt at describing this disease.

Bereft of feeling

Stare into the abyss
eyes burning...

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When you try your hardest you really do 

But your switches get the better of you 

It's not my fault I try and say but it still doesn't stop me pushing people away 

My actions speak louder than words but my actions aren't created by myself 

There all chemical imbalances that cause my mental health 

I say I'm sorry each time I mess up but there's only so many times people will he...

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On my fathers side,

They ignored the elephant

On the living room couch

And called it toughness.

This was how they turned

Whisky

Percocet

Wife and kids

Into therapy. 

This was how my cousin

Turned a belt into a noose

In his closet.

This was how they called 

my aunt the "bitter black woman" 

stereotype and how they saw

her charge to  dim

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The sun sets around this dirty glass.
Just a few more hours until I become someone new and forget who I was.
Im waiting for the fireworks but they'll surely never come.
There's no celebration for killing the demon that's been killing everyone.

You think a simple crucifix could fix this.
I don't think I can send my monster back to hell.
I've killed my insides I'm nothing more then a shell o...

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