Change Time
Do some reps miss the selling?
When they’re between call centre jobs
Not able to close a sale for B2B
Or get a Sirius XM radio upgrade
What of reps doing tech support
Fixing broken TVs and infra-red heaters

Same shit different shift on and on
Dial dial inbound joy call queuing
Sup call where’s your TL?
They’re MIA having a secret smoke
While the reps struggle on
This shif...

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Freebies

Look how happy the reps are

Eating the free pizza

Given by the client

Some reps have 1 piece

Another ate 16 pieces

Talk about greedy!

Free coffee was given

As only coffee went with pizza

On a call centre night shift

Plus Pepsi cold 2 litres

Wish it was drink all you can

Don’t be selfish now!

Think of your team mates

You're on the account together

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sales

the way you feel inside/this is sales/nothing else is like this/that's why you feel this way

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28 Users
It was only the 2nd work day of the month
He had exceeded the monthly sales targets
In just 2 days it broke all records
He got a 3 user sale on day 1
And on day 2 he got a 25 user sale!
The biggest user count in the account
It was like is this real?
Now he wanted more success...

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Metallica Calls

The guy listens to Metallica online while taking calls off customers

His TL knows of this and lets him do it for the rep gets good sales

Each and every day 4 or more sales earning a nice incentive

Rewards and Recognition days are a breeze he sells the items

Coffee makers toasters microwaves rice cookers fridges etc

He could have his own kitchen wares distribution ...

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Big Fat 0

The rep ended the year with 0 sales

There were 10 selling reps in total

9 got sales and 1 didn’t get any

The other 9 got between 1 and 11

Number 10 rep was pegged at 0

He got 7 sales in October

And 5 in November but before then

Both August and September were 0

Why are the rep’s sales up and down?

He doesn’t know and does his best

He would have 2 or 3 but ...

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Managers’ Monday

The agents dial the leads and opportunities to try to get sales

One rep has 77 manual dials and no more

Another had 47 manual dials plus 340 outbound dials

Others have similar numbers none under 200

The 88 rep got beasted off his sup for laziness

And was made to promise to step up and do more calls

Each agent had to count then report the call numbers

The TL...

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Power Mad

The power mad manager threatened to fire the worker

Who made a customer’s account so he could get the sale

This never happened for the manager saw it happen

Cancelled the new account almost fired the worker

Never said well done for using initiative or adeptness

He was power tripping made an example of him

Nobody will create a new account without my Yes!

Even if it...

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Move It

Let the bosses deal with the shit

It’s what they’re paid for

Why should we concern ourselves?

We have our own demons to slay

There are other opportunities out there

Not just their cheap scandalous account

Let’s move on get something better

Away from their hostility mind set and vices

I plan on being an astronaut

What about you?

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Selling Christmas Trees and Roman Candles, 1950

My older married brother, Willy, asked Kenny and me if we would like to help him sell Christmas trees. We said, “Sure we would love to help.”

Willy had gone into the woods and cut a number of cedar trees. We were going to sell them out of the back of his old Plymouth station wagon and an old trailer. The NAPA auto store...

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Pounding the phones

Hello? Is anyone home?

Trying to make that dollar

While all anyone can do is hollar

Please, shh! Hear me out!

There's no need to shout!

Listen for a minute

And I promise I'll be quick to finish

Can I interest you in a quote?

On your car, home, or boat?

No, its not a joke

Not your average bloke

Out to trick and deceive

I'm just trying to do...

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Cheap Whore

I don’t cost very much,
virtually giving it away
you like to watch and listen
but you don’t like to pay
I keep you entertained
turning inventive tricks
arousing you all night
giving you your kicks
you like it when I’m oral
you like to feel my pain
you like the kick and twist of it
again again again
I try to sell you add-ons
but you won’t buy my wares
I’ve given you a p...

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Unfamiliar livery

Adorns familiar trains

Myriad trees, multi-shaped

Silent window frames

Station signs unreadable

A metal phonetic blur

Speeding on through Somewhereshire

On a train to who knows where

TK Maxx and Staples

Retail worship shrines

Ears burst in tunnels

As beneath the soil we dive

Conservatories and patios

Buzzing power lines

Tearing on th...

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