I can see it in your eyes from across the room,

makes my heart ache, it’s a mistake - why do you

compare the self-view, dark-hue worst of yourself

to the online best of who?

Gosh dammit! I can’t stand it! If I had a single wish –

open windows, heal the widows and the few.

Those who give it all away, feel they fail some way

to the online best of who.

Wanna burn...

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You pulled me into your orbit

when I needed your help

and so, I made you my centre 

to centre myself

That was my first mistake

I looked inside you

for places where I could hide

I hoped to run from reality

into the delusions of your mind

I was happy to believe you were one of a kind

chuffed upon chuffed that you were mine

and I felt adored

grateful to m...

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I've sat up a tree for days and no-one noticed.
Neither the few who wandered underneath,
Nor the even fewer who should have cared.
Enough to realise I was missing!
And no-one came searching.
Time has no meaning, when the bark is pressing
Into the base of your spine.
And trees don't have cushions!
After the first hours, you only know you are there
Because you can't feel your feet.
Only fo...

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Although there are still two more poems to be met in the unrequited love sub-theme of love's tempest it is chronologically correct to open up new sub-themes of 'friendship' or 'platonic love', and 'self-love' or 'self-esteem', these themes often intertwine and overlap.

I thought about whether to just finish the unrequited love theme and then return to this first of the friendship poems, but I t...

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While waiting for the bus to school,
I came upon the weighty problem
Of what to do with my hands and feet.

Unused to such quandries and puzzles,
I first thought the answer to be
Simple, like hands in pockets, and stand on feet.

But unbidden, there came to my mind
A picture of myself, standing on my feet.
A plump girl, with her hands in her pockets.

At last I could stand it no longer
...

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I will be embarking now on a sequence of poems, in chronological and thematic order, that will stretch back right towards some of my earliest poetry. The collective theme is 'Love's Tempest', within which there will be various sub-themes. We start with the sub-theme 'Beginnings'.

Although this particular poem was probably written when I was 19 or 20 years old, it talks about earlier chidhood. I...

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The sun doesn't know that I'm different
The sun doesn't notice I'm here
The air doesn't know that I'm special
The air doesn't care that I'm there
The moon glows on me just the same
The moon doesn't care who I am
And time has never stopped for anyone
Since time began.

No, my dust won't be any different
Than dust has ever been
My bones won't seem more magnificent
Than bones have ever se...

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Whatever I have done 
I might have done worse, and might have done better.
Whatever I have chosen 
I might have chosen worse, and might have chosen better.

Whatever I have tried to say, 
I might have said worse, and might have said better.
Whatever I might be, 
I might have been worse, and might have been better.

But maybe judgement at all isn’t necessary
For better or worse, perhaps ...

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Life may not be perfect
But sadness isn’t worth it,
And no matter how bad it gets,
Or whatever the world may expect
I’m not done hoping yet.

I could weep, I could cry
But what would that buy?
Another moment of misery?
Or instead I could smile
And then at least I’d be lifted.

And life may not be great
But happiness shouldn’t wait
So no matter what
I’ll enjoy what I’ve got
I’m not ...

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I am sad. 

I am worthless. 

I am unlovable. 

Nobody loves me.

I do not deserve to be loved. 

I don't matter. 

I have no matter.

The world would be a better place without me. 

 Nobody cares whether I'm dead or alive.

I wish I were dead. 

-depression

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I want to be pretty.

I don’t know what that means

I don’t know if it equates to the amount of free
Drinks I can flirt my way into, how many compliments
I get on my new dress as it swishes in the soft breeze.

I don’t know how many men need to want to touch me,
How many people need to be jealous of me, how many eyes 
Need to be on me.

I don’t know if it refers to the delicate purity ...

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On the outside...

    Do not question anything I say or do.
        Above all do not argue.

    Keep all opinions, suggestions, ideas to yourself. 
        They mean nothing to me.
            I know everything. 

    The more you retreat 
        and remain silent,
            the stronger I feel. 

    Acknowledge me.
        Respect me.
            Worship me. 

On the inside...

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The rose recognizes the beauty of the sunflower, all the while self-assured in her own. She does not envy the golden beauty for her appeal to you

She knows better - she has guarded her stem from the likes of your fingers and the fingers of those before you, and the ones that will come after

She knows that while you, selfishly and ignorantly, believe the garden to be created for you...

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Damn 

What if I fail 

What if everything that I hope to accomplish 

Becomes reality 

What if I really be on mtv 

Would that  change a “U don’t mean shit to me” 

To you mean the most to me 

Let me stop 

Let me pause 

I never did good 

So I never got a round of applause 

Always found myself behind bars 

For not following the laws 

It seems crazy I always wanted...

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You know at first anytime I showed you vulnerability and affection I felt weak ,then I realized that I am a woman and vulnerability and love was my super powers . So then I realized that abandonment and not feeling good enough, and seeking for approval, and love ,became the norm when dealing with you and it felt so familiar bc it was .Daddy issues of my own ,hoping you can save me from them ,looki...

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“You’re beautiful!”

I’m sorry what?

“I said, you’re beautiful”

Why are you lying?

“You have amazing hair!”

It’s really not

“But it’s so curly.”

It tangles, it snares

I wish it straight.

“You’re  beautiful!”

I’m sorry, I’m not

“But you are!”

Why do you lie?

“Your skin is flawless.”

It’s make-up

“I’m sure you don’t need it.”

You can’t se...

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Don't love me everyday

For the rest of my life

Don't promise me the world

Or make me your wife

I don't need empty words from you

There's no need to exclaim

No want for explanation

No need to rid the blame

When you say that you don't love me

I feel nothing but relief

It resonates inside of me

Confirms my own belief

Unlovable perhaps, it seems

The way it has to...

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