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didn't wake up with the intention of being bad

I don't know why there's a pit in my stomach when no one is dead

run around my house and verbally beat up my dad

the screams sound bloodshed

he says, "there's so much you wanna do" 

and i obvert my eyes

wait around for a mental break-through

and make unachievable plans doing the highs

i wanna be a savior

and get th...

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"i know how to walk from here to there" 

okay, i muse back, 

"so walk through fires with me, walk through" 

i cant. i never have been able to. 

the places that i walk from are the mouths of cavernous houses. 

and from them ive only just realised i can leave.

"i will give you wings and a heart and a lust for the finer things"

good, i need an incentive.

"but you must act upon...

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am i hungry or has the pit returned.

that stupid fucking pit.

its an eternal loop, circling in and out of itself.

floating dead centre in my gut.

particles of another girl explode and expand out of it, 

overcome by this strange girl from the strange world.

i weep on my mothers lap, 

i retch over porcelin, patterned.

seeing my sister for the first time in weeks, 

she glow...

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charcoal toothpaste. 
teeth whitening strips. 
water on a bathroom floor muddied with muttered songs. 
cans of who and why on a windowsill. 
forehead sweat. made to stick fringes.
quick to anger. founded in a parent not so unlike. 
jerking awake. jolting asleep. comfort nul. 
calm mornings when the sun alarms. 
evil feelings when green and yellow lie dormant. 
stuttered uttered eye contac...

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They say it will soon be over

That it's just a teenage thing

They dont know what they're saying

Last night I gave you my ring

Its like I'd known you forever

We seem to go back to Creation

To the shrine of Adam and Eve

We send our invitation

Midnight at the end of time

Midnight at the end of time

I'll love you at least until

Midnight at the end of time

...

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More and more
my thoughts turn to you
so aware of time
I’m the age now
that you were
when the pair of you parted
you got that rented house
on the edge of town

We’d stay at weekends
watching winter’s tide sweep in
standing in the falling snow
the garden and the fields disappearing
said ‘throw another log on the fire’
said ‘dad, your house is cold’

At fifteen, I was nothing
lost i...

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Starting off with SSC, have to learn the fighter's name,

I wish I had their fame. Have my name in books, everyone would 

give me a look.

Next is Math, go 1 2 3, wait...what is the cube of three?

How I wish I could be like a bird in the sky, no reason to cry.

After that comes Science, Why do only flooded fields grow rice?

Learn the definitions of wind, water and ice.

...

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I'm finding

(quite often nowadays) 

that I'm slowly running out of words to describe how you left me

like a blackhole, in both good ways and bad 

it sucks in all that was good and rips those memories from me 

but takes away all that I hated 

I have so much I want to say 

and so much I hold back on 

too stubborn 

to admit what I wish I could 

I wonder how you...

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Now the lights are coming on
pink and orange, white and blue
from this distance they seem to melt into an aura
a haze hung above this haunted city

A clock tower looms over the rails
passing through this place I've never stopped here
I know nothing about how it moves or swells or stalls
but the lights all blanket it so heavenly
I think to myself, I'd like to return someday

Always, I fi...

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My first real friend was Godfrey

And for the first few weeks of our friendship

I always thought

Who calls their kid Godfrey?

Then I met his Mum

And I thought

He got away lightly

Together we shared our first experience of alcohol

I was thirteen at the time

So a late starter where I grew up

We stole a bottle of sherry from his Dads booze cupboard

Snuck round the back...

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