didn't wake up with the intention of being bad

I don't know why there's a pit in my stomach when no one is dead

run around my house and verbally beat up my dad

the screams sound bloodshed

he says, "there's so much you wanna do" 

and i obvert my eyes

wait around for a mental break-through

and make unachievable plans doing the highs

i wanna be a savior

and get th...

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youre a good little girl,

he types.

youre submissive arent you, 

he moans, over text.

he expects a beguiled, 

blushing emoji in response.

what he gets is three dots and an empty silence so loud he remembers what he is.

a greasy teen (21 years of age).

a lusty manchild looking for another child. 

he tells me im a cute and submissive girl, 

with luscious milk bags. 

...

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curled on a velvet chair

in a darkening room

is a monstorous teen. 

outside the blackening,

is a fading pink sky.

the clouds within whisper to shepards, 

"Delighted I Hope"

and on the highest grassy hills,

the shepards face eternity.

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i'm choosing to forget the stick and poke image, 

of myself in my head. 

my likeness is one i want to be liked. 

the stick and poke is immature and elementary. 

think your high school aquaintance,

who always wanted a tattoo. 

but 15 was still too young. 

so they mutilated the innocent skin of their thighs. 

the mutliated image of my body, my face, my ugly wretched soul

b...

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She comes into the house unannounced

doesn’t bother a quip when asked to speak

slams the door shut

and takes to her room to retreat

Behind the locked door, music blares

her demeanor tells everyone she doesn’t care

her closeted persona is darkness deeper 

than her black eyeliner coupled with black hair

She’s never known love

never been the center of affection

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Those kids who were... cool

What I aspired to be- to transcend

From awkward chubby ginger, to some kinda

Myth

The bankings

A wash of denim, cheap cider and flowering pheromones

Trains no longer passed, but

Away from prying eyes, and Stringers finest

The juggernaut of youth still ploughed through

Faceless passed me a bottle

Faithless I sank, and swigged at fu...

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We all have out tipple of choice, mine
i sip.
It's potent breath intertwines with mine
filling my lungs with pleasure.
Satisfying all of my dreams and desires.

I swig,
as my words become dizzy, muddled.
Phosphene eyes to match. Spirits,
lifted.
A wonderful serendipity,
i am free.

I gulp,
my mouth runs away with me, legs
unable.
The clock strikes, it's hand jittery
face wobbling.

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I thought I'd write one for you today,

A sweet poem, the sweetest I'd say.

As pure as as the virgin, As true as the tale.

As beautiful as you look to me, Everyday and every night.

Where did I find you ? I may never know and I may might.

I'd do it for you love, I'd do it for your sweet kisses, your little whispers in my ear,

Your breath on my neck and hand rumbling ...

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As a child

I thought

the sun rose

and sat because

of my Dad.

As a teenager

I thought my

Dad was one

of the bumbest

people on earth.

Now that I

am over the

age of Fifty

I think the

older I get

the smarter

my Dad was.

The Circle

of life.

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