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Where You Begin

The first time

Is a pin prick

To unstitch

Your skin

To feel yourself

Begin

You search your being

You are it:

Coursing through yourself

The second time

You search inside

A stranger

Behind the corner shop

You find where he begins

Adrenaline!

But come back,

Stinking of rot

Void of thought

To feel what?

What are you searching for?

To begin ag...

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🌷(4)

beginselfidentitysearchseekadrenalineriskfindfeelnumbself destructionrebornendattemptmisunderstooddepressionanxietythrill seekself harmalcoholmisusetaboostigmasex

I've Been Wrung

Lick your fingers
Every last bit
Bend over
Take the hardest hit
Now, burn
And let me watch
Crumble
On the spot
Twist yourself in knots
I want the final drop
Then,
Become dust
Collapse and shed
Until the last sparkle
Of my Queens head
Is spent
Until the last glimmer
Of her glitter
Has bled
You belong to me
I own your soul
That is how
You line
Every pocket
With gold

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Moneysexexchangeuseabusewrungdynamicruinpatriarchypowerrelationshipreducenothingpay

Who is the bully?

Yesterday, I cracked the whip
Over a poor man’s flesh
At his request
Yesterday, I dug my heels
Into the crotch of him
Because he asked
It hurt me to hurt him
But it would hurt him too
Had I refused
The thing about me
Is that I'm not
- Me, I mean -
I'm a chameleon,
Master of masks
Slipping on disguises
Like slipping on shirts
I am metamorphosis
Shapeshifter, am I
With wolf or doe ...

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pervertedsordidtwistedtoxicmisindrybullydominationsubmissivebdsmpayservicedynamichierarchysexdominatrixfeminismmasochistmasochismmoney

Anticlimactic

I know I traded something

A part of me

For the splendid splendour of money

I did that thing you shouldn’t do

I gave myself to him

You know, the soul

Cut a piece of myself out for him

You know, the heart

I cut a piece of myself off for him

(You know which part)

But I didn't feel a thing

I'm waiting to miss it

Miss this

Thing

I'm waiting for the pain

You...

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🌷(5)

mysteryunderstandingconfusionmythanticlimacticanticlimaxtraumareactionsupriseuniquepainsexethicsinternalempty

A Part

My bed is still warm

When the next body rolls in

But I'm not

I'm numb

Until,

Your body

- Or his -

- Or hers -

Envelopes mine

And I can breathe

Because

I am consumed

I am part of you,

Of someone that lives

That moves

That loves

I am

I was

I will be

Because I'm not apart

Just a part

Of something

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🌷(5)

aparta partpersonhumanconnectedbecomingnumbsexcopingcoping mechanismdetachedremoveddepersonalizationconnectionphysicalintimateusingaddictiondepression

Muddle Puddle

Eyes and lips
which
blossom from your carved face,
sugar skull, sherbert fizz.
To Mr, from Mz,
we really wanted to fuck this.
Turned my brain insane,
my tongue inside
out.


Caught in fog,
in haze, like cloudy lemonade;
a gaze, let's misbehave.
Infatuated,
I won't make it.
Too intense:
this forever pretence,
can't do more pretend.
Beg.

 

Take a hot hit,
bit by bit,
I got...

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🌷(1)

Infatuationintenselovepainpassionrelationshipsextorture

Nettles

I’m pretty sure there were tulips in her eyes,

I shouted “Fire! Fire!”,

She took off her sunglasses,

She saw sunrise.

 

Now I know it, there was a darling rose in her blush,

A honey dew in her stare

But they told me “beware, beware!”

“Have you not been warned of ‘primrose way’?”

 

Now I felt it, there were dandelions on her lips…

Make a wish, make a wish!

Daisy ...

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🌷(2)

broken heartflowersfooledgirlinsectlovemetaphorplayedpromiscuoussex

Riding on red

Baby, oh cry "red red" baby!

Red stare, double dare me, baby.

You look angry maybe,

that frown like a red cloak across your gaze

with your silver tongue

words like shining bullets

cutting me down with your mad arms.

What mad, bad arms you have!

What a mad, bad glare you have!

All the better to come swinging at me

with those meaty limbs like axes.

Oh, please baby I'...

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🌷(1)

angerdangergameslovelove makingmanipulationred ridinghoodsexthreat

Those Paintbrush Women

I think I’m addicted to acting the way,

Behaving the way,

I feel:

Shit.

No, I never meant to-

I-

No, I never intended to-

I-

didn’t set out to break your heart

I think that it came naturally to me...

Snapping those heart strings it’s what

I-

It’s what I’ve always done best.

Affection is a weapon they say,

Charm is a murderer they say,

The blood you lose...

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accidentgenderharmheartbreakhunterinequalitypainrelationshipsexsexuality

Burnt

When you lit that cigarette

The bones of me shuddered,

The blood in me halted.

What I wouldn’t do for you to light my flame with your lips....

 

Because I’ve had men tell me that my lipstick tastes of petrol,

That my mouth lights fires,

That my tongue causes explosions

And of course, that opening my legs is the best way to put a fire out.

 

But this fire begins at you...

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burningdesirefirelieslustmanipulationsadistsexunrequitedyearning

The stranger on her neck

Can you see the track marks up her arms?
I spy
With my wide eye
The stranger upon her neck.


Like the birthmark of a bloodhound,
Like a grisly flesh pinch,
An angrily sealed wound,
A Chinese burn,

A beating burning bruise,

A bloody blush:
The bite of the hungry.


Teeth she counted like cash,
The molars which paid her fine
And got her Alice's very own wonder

-ful escape...

...

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drugssexself distructionprioritiessexual abusedealdesperationvulnerable

Layers

I’m gonna be so pretty for you,

She says

As one layer falls off and tumbles to the ground -

Hugging your feet

Like a lash of waves.

I’m gonna be so pretty for you,

Let me be pretty for you,

I will be the prettiest I’ve ever been,

She says

As one layer of flesh peels off, along with her clothes.

One layer of soft lips melts from her features -

Layers and layers till...

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insecuritygendersexbeautyunconscioussubconscioushumanlayersdestructionunravelling

When I lie.

There is me...lying.
Not lying like you say.
Lying on the floor, lying like I say.
Begging, weeping, asking.
You carnival figure, you.
You war hero, you.
You champion, you.
One leg propped upon my stomach.
Where are your gold stamps, your badges, your medals?
The trophy you stand on is all battered.
You have laid me out on the floor, the doormat
Withholding the welcome sign.
You roll m...

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apologisefeminismliepassiverelationshipsexsorrysubmittormentweapon

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