Blog Entries by Chris Briggs (humour)

It’s All Kicked Off.......

it’s all kicked off down at the zoo
absolute chaos, a proper to-do
when it all started, it was really quite small
when a boy in a pushchair just squeezed a ball
he didn’t mean to do it, it’s just it was there
all round and pink and covered in hair
they bobbed past him at just the right height
so he grabbed a handful and held them quite tight
he wiggled his fingers and gave them a tweak
th...

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Saturday 23rd June 2018 6:02 am

humour

The Circle of Life

by Chris Briggs

I know we didn’t click when we first met
I wasn’t just playing hard to get
previous partnerships were hard to ignore
false dawns I’d visited many times before
at first my pulse rate you didn’t raise
until I felt your tight embrace
sending both of my knees all weak
from your light touch across my cheeks
we’ve had good times, we’ve had bad
experienced both happiness and sad
victories tha...

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Saturday 23rd June 2018 5:58 am

humour

Pissed 'n' Broke

by Chris Briggs

Lairy teenage louts

Spotty young offenders

Spend all their time

Going on benders

With cider pilfered

From a local store

Nicked Regal Kingsize

Shared once more

They collect together

On waste ground

To trash a moped

Someone 'just found'

Chained up behind

A garden gate

The owner not yet

Realising their fate

Their humble transport

Will be rev'd to d...

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Wednesday 4th February 2015 9:27 pm

Humour social commentary

A Bit More Choke And The Car Would Have Started

by Chris Briggs

This is a problem

That affects the masses

The quick release

Of intestine gases

But how do we get

To this situation?

It starts in the mouth

With mastication

A mouthful of food

A taste sensation

You chew and you chomp

Gastro delectation

One final chew

Before you swallow

Eye up your plate

Another forkful to follow

Then into th...

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Wednesday 4th February 2015 9:21 pm

humour wind

Writer's Block

by Chris Briggs

Need to get started

Got so much to write

Put pen to paper

Just keep writing shite

I've tried all the tricks

Walked round the room

Made a cup of tea

No va-va-va-voom

Still sitting here now

Not sure what to do

Stuck for ideas

Not a fucking clue

Oh, hang on a mo

One has come in now

Nope Wonderstuff lyrics

"The size of a cow"

I'm trying too hard

...

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Monday 26th January 2015 8:38 pm

comedy Humour

Bunfight At The Kerbside Corral

by Chris Briggs

She stands at the kerbside

It's what she does best

Stopping the traffic

In her high vis vest

She scans all around

Through silted eyes

Never once blinking

Sight set on the prize

A battle of wills

Is the name of the game

Everyday is different

Yet always the same

She rocks too and fro

On the balls of her feet

Sideways glances

Up and do...

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Tuesday 20th January 2015 4:53 pm

Humour school driving

Spirit Of Christmas

by Chris Briggs

Christmas fun, christmas cheer

It comes around every year

Presents, tree and food to buy,

It's more expensive, the questions why?

Smellies for mum, a tie for dad,

What about the kids? Let's not go mad.

Christmas morning kids awake

Bleary eyed parents their beds vacate

Christmas wrapping torn to shreds

Whilst sensible folk are still in bed

Who bought that for who...

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Tuesday 20th January 2015 7:55 am

humour Christmas

Fuck it, I’m indecisive

by Chris Briggs

I need to make a decision

And make it fucking quick

A matter life or death

It’s making me feel sick

It’s really not that hard

This thing I need to do

A very simple choice

Number one or number two

I see the merits of both

From my view on the fence

I must fall on one side

Before I can recommence

They’re starting to get painful

These splinters in ...

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Monday 19th January 2015 10:15 pm

humour Indecisions frustration

Recent Comments

It’s All Kicked Off.......

The Circle of Life

Pissed 'n' Broke

A Bit More Choke And The Car Would Have Started

Writer's Block

Bunfight At The Kerbside Corral

Spirit Of Christmas

Fuck it, I’m indecisive

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