it’s all kicked off down at the zoo
absolute chaos, a proper to-do
when it all started, it was really quite small
when a boy in a pushchair just squeezed a ball
he didn’t mean to do it, it’s just it was there
all round and pink and covered in hair
they bobbed past him at just the right height
so he grabbed a handful and held them quite tight
he wiggled his fingers and gave them a tweak
th...

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I know we didn’t click when we first met
I wasn’t just playing hard to get 
previous partnerships were hard to ignore
false dawns I’d visited many times before
at first my pulse rate you didn’t raise
until I felt your tight embrace
sending both of my knees  all weak
from your light touch across my cheeks
we’ve had good times, we’ve had bad
experienced both happiness and sad
victories tha...

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standing there silent, feet on the ground
in a world of my own whilst folk rush around
in every direction, this seething throng
is it just me, am I in the wrong
am I the only one in this crowd
not making a noise but wanting to shout
and scream at those that are nearby
I shrug my shoulders, let out a sigh
all going to the office, a corporate ideal
sterile surroundings, same look and feel
...

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the world awakes most mornings
and the news is always black
the newsreader is commenting
on another violent attack
another poor soul's been murdered
in search of another cause
it's always religion or politics
that starts the numerous wars
all in the name of religion
it makes my blood run cold
how can people do this?
how can they be so bold
spouting ideologies
they never seem to pause
...

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the gun’s the ruler on the street

a right to bare the sheep preach

tyres screech, a siren sounds

another discharge of several rounds

as another life just ebbs away

a sad commodity of life today

adding to the grim statistics

of lives eroded by ballistics

guns are easy to obtain

to commit a family to the pain

of the taking of another's life

of a parent, child, husban...

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Coffee

innocently standing in line with
bearded hipsters and normal folk
when I heard something said
and assumed it was a joke
it sounded ridiculous
as ridiculous as can be
it made no sense
it was all Chinese to me
yet all these words
were in a language I knew
but this nonsense sentence
out of his mouth did spew
the wise sage nodded
across the counter top
never asking him to repea...

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It's Drying Day Today.

Quick shut the door and turn the dial, set it on its way
I've looked outside the weathers grand, it's drying day today.
little bubbles form and burst as the clothes toss and tumble
then there is the fast spin cycle, oh, how the washer rumbles
it does a dance from side to side, then it's back and forth
it's left black marks across the lino, where it's little feet expl...

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I'll Get My Coat

The weather girls sang "it's raining men"
but not here, it's just raining. Again
Just pissing down with bloody rain
gallons of water, down the drain.
When will it stop? Who bloody knows
I wish it was winter, it might have snowed,
a light drizzle would make a change
instead of this heavy, driving rain.
The housebound dog with full bladder
won't go out but watches the sp...

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budgie smugglers

my body is a temple
a temple of doom
I'm going on my holidays
and going very soon

I need to get in shape
by going to the gym
and cutting out biscuits
in order to get slim

my belly is not really fat
it's just a little round
and I can still see my feet
as I look down at the ground

I seem to have moobs
which I was unaware
possibly a b cup
nestling amongst the ...

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Counting Sheep

Tick followed tock followed tick followed tock
Like the mechanical heartbeat of Big Ben's time clock
Except this one is small and its wrapped round my wrist
Mechanically timing every toss, every turn, every bodily twist
And as it ticks and it tocks it’s giving me strife
a metronome counting down to the end of my life
But the second hand doesn't tick it gracefully sweeps
ar...

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The mobile phone is a wonderful thing

Thousands of melodies for when it rings

Which seems to be less and less these days

As it’s more of a gadget for you to play

Candy Crush Saga or update Facebook

Or take it from your pocket for a cursory look

To see if you’ve got any notifications

That you had not noticed through subtle vibrations

It rules the roost, the bane of your...

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It sits there lurking at the back of your mind

Waiting for that moment when it comes from behind

Whatever emotion you’ve just come through

Pushing past thoughts in an orderly queue

The blackness of thought, the start of a spiral

Generating negativity before going viral

It just takes one thing to push you over the edge

And there you stand on a precipice, on a ledge

Not in th...

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Football is a game, played in two halves

identifiable by factions wearing coloured scarves

either round the neck in a conformist style

or tied round the wrist like a 70’s exile.

The weekly gathering of like minded folk

and tribal instincts that it evokes

generating emotion in the assembled masses

that transcends barriers and social classes

For 90 minutes they’re all the sam...

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It's Christmas Day and you're stressed as fuck

'Cos all of the dinner you've still to cook

The bastard turkey refuses to defrost

The plot is gone, somewhere it's lost

It's been in the sink under the tap

The giblets are out and are staring back

It's as hard as fuck, it's as hard as ice

So into the garage and into the vice

Take the hacksaw in your hand

Feeling the urge of ...

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I once thought I’d be different

And write a poem that didn’t rhyme

It's much harder than I thought

I failed, time after time

You know the poems that I mean

Random lines and free flow text

Never knowing what direction

The writer takes you next

These creative types just rattle it off

But my brain's not that way inclined

I'd like to be less restrictive

But I...

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If only I could do so much more than sitting here writing,

Across the world, both near and far people are fighting,

Fighting for their lives, fighting for their rights

Fighting the elements to have somewhere to sleep tonight

Across the print and tv media the only thing you see

Are decimated wastelands and people trying to flee

From war torn self destruction and political tyranny

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On the thirteenth of November

All the news turned black

Occurring all over in Paris

Had been terrorist attacks

Many people had been murdered

Whilst enjoying a night out

Starting with conviviality 

Ending with screams and shouts

All in the name of religion

It made my blood run cold

How can people do this?

How can they be so bold?

Young people with sugge...

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I can't believe what you're asking whilst standing there in the dock,
For clemency, from this bench, whose justice you're trying to mock
You're standing there large as life having regaled your tale
Expecting me to grant your wish, but justice, its not for sale
You know that this can't be good, as you're handcuffed to a guard
It's easy for me with my pronouncements on a card
The sentence that...

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They move silently amongst us

Their cards held close to their chest

Never letting down their guard

These full-time sexual pests

They have no redeeming features

Nothing extraordinary, to be fair

No sign of a dirty mac

No slicked back greasy hair

They blend in to the background

Sit quietly in the park

Waiting for that moment

Early evening, just before dark

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One Man, One Voice.

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