My daughter revises chemistry,

with a little help from brother.

(our family expert on such things)

whilst I listen on,

baffled by the formulas and names

the purpose of it all,

like a freshwater fish

all at sea with the brine

I need to be heard,

to matter amongst the matter,

add weight to the atoms of this foreign world.

‘What is the stuff of life?’ I ...

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You send me back my wedding dress

20 years too late…

wrapped not in finest tissue

confetti tumbling from its folds

nor draped across a lover’s arms

regret pressed to every empty seam

not folded at all

but jammed like stinking gym shorts

into this case, too small

compressed, flattened

obligatory bow adrift

sad reminder of all that was.

An ivo...

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I’m not quite sure

when it was I disappeared

the precise moment, minute, hour

I only know that one day

it happened

I ceased to exist

to count,

to matter,

to be.

Nobody told me so,

the milkman still knocked,

neighbours still smiled,

kettles still boiled,

and children still cried,

but somewhere, somehow

someone flicked a switch

...

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