The October sky caved in all around me,
Like a blanket without contact.
I stood stagnant in the dark, aware and somehow unafraid of all that lurked among the darkness.
If I ran now there would be no escaping the guilt, but if not now then I never would. 

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Sometimes it doesn't go away, it finds the audacity to linger in unexpected places.
In some of my greatest moments I find it damn hard to fully embrace the goodness because a part of me still aches. 

It always will. 

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There was anger within her, ages old, beyond the state of corruption.
Bitterness was rooted deep into her being, living as if it was comfortable there.
She began to grieve and grieve until it became impossible to feel anything else. She tore herself apart in the name of despair, feeling the agony as it fed off her bones.
She'd cry if only she knew how
"Would it always be this way?" She wondere...

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It’s time I fall in love again, she said to herself, but with words that insist on being heard despite their grandest efforts to be hidden away. You see, With a heart so heavy and a head so full I could bury it all between the pages. 

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It’s been a long twenty four hours, the kind that involves relentless sobbing and thoughts of rash decision making. I hadn’t intended for the day to end that way but my bottled up emotions demanded my attention. It isn’t easy faking it all the time, but I can’t walk around like a basket case, I have a decent amount of dignity left, I must savor it. 

I witnessed a version of myself I didn’t like...

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I wander through my garden, in search for inspiration or something greater, but unfortunately the season has been slow and many of my plants are struggling.
Like myself, a withering sunflower in the July heat.
Regardless of my uncertainty the sun still rises, unphased.
I watch my wildflowers sway with the breeze, looking something like a painting.
I sit cross legged now in the dirt, mud absorb...

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You see, the world is not so small that I'm unable to forget you, it’s the fact that I once was happy and in my happiest moments there was you. 

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There used to be some sort of magic whenever I visited and never would I expect that the feeling would wear off. Now as an adult (hardly.)  I ponder, at what point do our imaginations stop overflowing? In our years when do we quit producing wonderful fiction into our everyday realities? As twenty-four withers by I wish I could still time, just momentarily so my unique soul can capture whats left. ...

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It’s safe to say that I’m not okay

The present moment brought pain and stole my breath

Tears clouded my eyes 

Nothing is as it was and will never be again 

Time changes everything and then keeps on changing 

Photographs are just memories, bottled up, a reminder that we can never go back

So we hold onto each one until death do us part. 

And that is all for today. 

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I remember a girl who was scared to live 

Insecurity ate at her soul 

The only thing keeping her alive were her dreams 

Inside she kept a secret key 

And each night when it became too hard to breathe she’d disappear 

Living like her reality was something greater 

One day she became a woman and faced her deepest fears, she watched them start to fall away

Determined, she decided...

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Somehow the story continues as I hold on and look, Here we are, like something unbreakable. The sweet taste of summer teases the tip of my tongue. I've dreamt of feeling alive for some time now, I believe finally a change is on its way. Restlessly I'll wait, barely breathing, just savoring each passive moment of my life while it still lasts. I stare into the sun Bleeding tears now as I w...

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The wild in me returned

Not that it was ever capable of fully leaving.

I am a woman not like any other, I am wildly my own.

Freckled, small and passionately strange

I swore I'd never come back from the depths of the desert where I lost all I had ever known, but the universe swallowed all of my doubts as my soul swallowed the sun.

'Little queen', that's what the wind calls me, she sp...

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(Another overdue piece.) 

Isolation has its perks

For example; I've begun to make friends with the stars, when they decide to show their faces that is.

Now that this sweater weather is about over I'm able to dream in color.

Picking up hints of green wherever I go

It's a stale world from my point of view, everyone and everything I see is devoid of substance.

I wanted growth b...

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(A very overdue piece. )

No inspiration or affection or thought of any kind brushed my path.
I hated it so
I watched the sky melt into a thousand shades of grey, dismal prayers planted in the clouds.
From beneath saturated dreams I wander, dying to leave this world behind.
Is it just the cold or am I only one caught in a sleep state?
My tired eyes hesitate to see the truth, if I ignore the...

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The way you look at me is sacred 
I’m fighting the moment as it happens
So slow it’s almost painful 
I wish you’d leave 
Sip your pink lemonade elsewhere 
But there’s some sort of magic behind your eyes
And I wonder if you know
Certainly the mirror has told you 
Or does it keep secrets? 
Your calloused fingers remind me of my favorite song 
I choke on the thought of getting close 
Maybe...

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I'm in love with a man
And there's not a thing to do about it
For I hear it's a scandalous crime to fall for the deeply committed.

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Wild woman,

When did your soul become so restless?

Has the thought of giving up occupied your head?

Isn't it you who sat beneath the moon claiming no finger could ever grace your slin, not a man could tame such a spirit?

Don't be fooled by this troubling drought

You see, 

flowers only wither if they are dead. 

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Oh Sad little soul,
The searing pain which tears you from your body is only a moment, it is just a small molecule? Of time.
Even though the anguish feels like years of Neverending , it will come to an end.
Yes, there will be a day where the sun ignites before your eyes, forever golden.
Shadows will play like Peter and Wendy
And you my friend 
Will feel okay again
I promise. 
 

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When I am older I hope to write about endless summers and sweet kisses in between
There must be a silver lining written somewhere in poetry
I’d like a vibrant sun to rain upon my skin and shower me with flecks of happiness
I want to be lost in laughter, drowning in bliss
How unfortunate the human condition is that I, a fragile soul, should have to die before I live.
Possibly the unknown is th...

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On May 1st
 

Once a year I celebrate the anniversary of a song I heard some time long ago
It lives inside these hollow bones,
And when I’m feeling quite lonely I let the sounds wash over me until I feel it breathing me back
to life.
In a moment of absolute static I disappear.
Forever I will relish in it’s sweet irony, rewinding the journey in my mind
I reflect on the last year and how th...

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I've always dreamt of being a storyteller.
One who devotes their life to the art of telling stories by spilling their soul upon a blotted page.
When I was much younger I could tell you of the many adventures that took my imagination for a spin.
I thought by now I'd have seen more than this town that no longer serves me, I believed there would be far more beauty than heartache and ink letters re...

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Now that I'm completely lost I've no more desire to return. Im deeply wrought with guilt that it seems I've forgotten the way home- But home was never a place anyhow, it was merely a state of mind and for now it's somewhere I can no longer find. 

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Since I was young I watched you and learned-I learned things of use and things that feed my soul. You gave me my name and showed me to add, You taught me to laugh and hold my tongue, how to use a hammer and swing a bat.
My favorite things remind me of you
If it wasn't for your tough love I don't know where I'd be
Who I am is because of you
I look in the mirror and I see you
Now I watch you an...

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Some say she arrived from hell with flaming hair and a devilish grin.

Her eyes flashed misery in such a captivating way

It was enough to torture the most upright of men

Yet somehow they always returned, 

 Surrendering their hearts for more. 

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She’s at home tonight

Pacing wood floors

Wondering when 

Mechanical thoughts emerge from her subconscious 

There must be a way to endure all this solitude 

Delicate fingers caress the knob of an old radio 

Piece by piece her broken heart crawls through her skin 

The music gets louder as she tears herself apart 

Haunting screams from within fill the void of absolute nothingn...

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I met my lowest moment and became one with the darkest parts of me.

I was fragile, weak, broken beyond repair.

Life was an annoyance and breathing was just a chore.

It felt as if I couldn’t fathom such pain any longer until I came face to face with skies of blue-

Once again a reminder that hope lives.

I do believe it to be found in the daring colors of the sunset, the subtle whisper...

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I wanna dance to the sound of fiddles in the wind on a rainwashed Sunday wearing nothing but a mudstained hat upon my fiery head.

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After being lost for so long the pain began to feel like a friend 

It felt good to acknowledge something even if it hurt

After all

There was nothing else to hold on to. 

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Dearest Peter,

The end was closer than ever before
Just a hint more of internal turmoil and I may crumble
Tonight I didn’t want to exist. 
It’s not that I wanted to die, I just didn’t want this particular life
I wished for my only presence to be alive in ink letters, for the dusty pages to become my source of oxygen, to be the character in story of a finer setting.
Somehow misplaced I...

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I’ve learned that danger has blue eyes and sunkissed hair, and no matter how hard one tries, once passion ensues no one gets out alive. It’s the reason you and I just can't seem to say “Goodbye.”
That cigarette clenched tightly between your teeth is nothing but a thrilling disguise.
Your effortless smile and poetic mannerisms leave not even a mark upon me, at least not of late.
You ramble on ab...

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You might’ve crossed my mind today but I’ll never confess for sure
The pain you caused was quite the ache
I almost didn’t make it out alive
But I danced my way through the darkness, all my feelings I learned to surrender to the rain
This cruel world has ways of making us remember
The songs still linger
When my soul is feeling a bit reckless I pick up my tired limbs and sway
I picture bleedi...

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Have you ever seen a chest so empty?

Not even a single beat echoes from beneath pale skin.

Completely vacant, yet no room for another disappointment

One can only wonder what is to become of a soul like that.

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The only time I could stand to bear the dead season was when I was standing under trees,
below broken branches, staring up at a gray sky in early November.
Cool air bit at my knuckles but I was determined to clear a path to roam
Further I wandered listening to the sound of a Lion’s roar
Crystal streams frozen solid, skeleton leaves trapped underneath
My boot slips only the slightest while I s...

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This morning I sat back as I watched the world decay. 
Snow fell into place
What a long season of winter I've settled into. 
Miracles don't always happen and the "Why" is an answer we will never get. 
Once in a while I wonder if the universe favors some people more than others. 
I wait here patiently in a moment of rotting hell with anticipation for the magic that is meant to come. 
Yet this...

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Deep in despair
Hiding within these walls
Are my gut wrenching thoughts
Truths above lies
Your words against mine
I’m lost between branches
In a city so bare
It’s obvious there’s no place for me here
If I jump, who will catch me?
What soul would even care?
Just a doubt away from flying now
I envy the ground as it shakes
Won’t you lie with me here and stare into the sun
Blinded by beau...

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"I smell snow"

It was the fourth when the first white blanket covered the ground, instantly I felt a love/hate connection with the sight. 
The cold weather had never been my friend, but this time the emptiness inside me braved a welcome towards the season. 
Most days I am tired, just trying to get through, patiently waiting for a warmer sunrise to appear again. 
Not all days have been tortur...

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Saying goodbye to you is impossible 

So I won't say anything at all. 

...

Who would've thought I'd leave you here, starting a new page in the new year

All I've gained is this broken heart 

Our tainted love has fallen apart. 

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