Choices
The October sky caved in all around me,
Like a blanket without contact.
I stood stagnant in the dark, aware and somehow unafraid of all that lurked among the darkness.
If I ran now there would be no escaping the guilt, but if not now then I never would.
Sunday 26th November 2023 1:13 am
Heartbreak.
Sometimes it doesn't go away, it finds the audacity to linger in unexpected places.
In some of my greatest moments I find it damn hard to fully embrace the goodness because a part of me still aches.
It always will.
Monday 20th November 2023 12:56 am
Wounds.
There was anger within her, ages old, beyond the state of corruption.
Bitterness was rooted deep into her being, living as if it was comfortable there.
She began to grieve and grieve until it became impossible to feel anything else. She tore herself apart in the name of despair, feeling the agony as it fed off her bones.
She'd cry if only she knew how
"Would it always be this way?" She wondere...
Tuesday 31st October 2023 1:55 am
For the love of Poetry.
It’s time I fall in love again, she said to herself, but with words that insist on being heard despite their grandest efforts to be hidden away. You see, With a heart so heavy and a head so full I could bury it all between the pages.
Sunday 15th October 2023 3:58 pm
My inner child still screams
It’s been a long twenty four hours, the kind that involves relentless sobbing and thoughts of rash decision making. I hadn’t intended for the day to end that way but my bottled up emotions demanded my attention. It isn’t easy faking it all the time, but I can’t walk around like a basket case, I have a decent amount of dignity left, I must savor it.
I witnessed a version of myself I didn’t like...
Thursday 20th July 2023 2:29 am
Just another tom petty reference
I wander through my garden, in search for inspiration or something greater, but unfortunately the season has been slow and many of my plants are struggling.
Like myself, a withering sunflower in the July heat.
Regardless of my uncertainty the sun still rises, unphased.
I watch my wildflowers sway with the breeze, looking something like a painting.
I sit cross legged now in the dirt, mud absorb...
Monday 17th July 2023 3:10 am
Screw You.
You see, the world is not so small that I'm unable to forget you, it’s the fact that I once was happy and in my happiest moments there was you.
Thursday 13th July 2023 1:16 am
the last time.
There used to be some sort of magic whenever I visited and never would I expect that the feeling would wear off. Now as an adult (hardly.) I ponder, at what point do our imaginations stop overflowing? In our years when do we quit producing wonderful fiction into our everyday realities? As twenty-four withers by I wish I could still time, just momentarily so my unique soul can capture whats left. ...
Saturday 24th June 2023 8:19 pm
change.
It’s safe to say that I’m not okay
The present moment brought pain and stole my breath
Tears clouded my eyes
Nothing is as it was and will never be again
Time changes everything and then keeps on changing
Photographs are just memories, bottled up, a reminder that we can never go back
So we hold onto each one until death do us part.
And that is all for today.
Thursday 22nd June 2023 11:18 pm
"To live would be an awfully big adventure."
I remember a girl who was scared to live
Insecurity ate at her soul
The only thing keeping her alive were her dreams
Inside she kept a secret key
And each night when it became too hard to breathe she’d disappear
Living like her reality was something greater
One day she became a woman and faced her deepest fears, she watched them start to fall away
Determined, she decided...
Friday 9th June 2023 11:38 pm
May.
Somehow the story continues as I hold on and look, Here we are, like something unbreakable. The sweet taste of summer teases the tip of my tongue. I've dreamt of feeling alive for some time now, I believe finally a change is on its way. Restlessly I'll wait, barely breathing, just savoring each passive moment of my life while it still lasts. I stare into the sun Bleeding tears now as I w...
Wednesday 7th June 2023 6:53 pm
April.
The wild in me returned
Not that it was ever capable of fully leaving.
I am a woman not like any other, I am wildly my own.
Freckled, small and passionately strange
I swore I'd never come back from the depths of the desert where I lost all I had ever known, but the universe swallowed all of my doubts as my soul swallowed the sun.
'Little queen', that's what the wind calls me, she sp...
Sunday 4th June 2023 9:26 pm
March.
(Another overdue piece.)
Isolation has its perks
For example; I've begun to make friends with the stars, when they decide to show their faces that is.
Now that this sweater weather is about over I'm able to dream in color.
Picking up hints of green wherever I go
It's a stale world from my point of view, everyone and everything I see is devoid of substance.
I wanted growth b...
Friday 2nd June 2023 1:52 am
February
(A very overdue piece. )
No inspiration or affection or thought of any kind brushed my path.
I hated it so
I watched the sky melt into a thousand shades of grey, dismal prayers planted in the clouds.
From beneath saturated dreams I wander, dying to leave this world behind.
Is it just the cold or am I only one caught in a sleep state?
My tired eyes hesitate to see the truth, if I ignore the...
Thursday 25th May 2023 4:10 pm
Pink lemonade
The way you look at me is sacred
I’m fighting the moment as it happens
So slow it’s almost painful
I wish you’d leave
Sip your pink lemonade elsewhere
But there’s some sort of magic behind your eyes
And I wonder if you know
Certainly the mirror has told you
Or does it keep secrets?
Your calloused fingers remind me of my favorite song
I choke on the thought of getting close
Maybe...
Sunday 21st May 2023 2:42 pm
scandalous crime
I'm in love with a man
And there's not a thing to do about it
For I hear it's a scandalous crime to fall for the deeply committed.
Friday 19th May 2023 3:23 am
Wild woman (21.)
Wild woman,
When did your soul become so restless?
Has the thought of giving up occupied your head?
Isn't it you who sat beneath the moon claiming no finger could ever grace your slin, not a man could tame such a spirit?
Don't be fooled by this troubling drought
You see,
flowers only wither if they are dead.
Wednesday 17th May 2023 4:35 am
sad little soul
Oh Sad little soul,
The searing pain which tears you from your body is only a moment, it is just a small molecule? Of time.
Even though the anguish feels like years of Neverending , it will come to an end.
Yes, there will be a day where the sun ignites before your eyes, forever golden.
Shadows will play like Peter and Wendy
And you my friend
Will feel okay again
I promise.
Friday 5th May 2023 3:30 pm
Oblivion
When I am older I hope to write about endless summers and sweet kisses in between
There must be a silver lining written somewhere in poetry
I’d like a vibrant sun to rain upon my skin and shower me with flecks of happiness
I want to be lost in laughter, drowning in bliss
How unfortunate the human condition is that I, a fragile soul, should have to die before I live.
Possibly the unknown is th...
Thursday 4th May 2023 2:49 am
darlin you'll be okay
On May 1st
Once a year I celebrate the anniversary of a song I heard some time long ago
It lives inside these hollow bones,
And when I’m feeling quite lonely I let the sounds wash over me until I feel it breathing me back
to life.
In a moment of absolute static I disappear.
Forever I will relish in it’s sweet irony, rewinding the journey in my mind
I reflect on the last year and how th...
Tuesday 2nd May 2023 9:12 pm
death of a Poet
I've always dreamt of being a storyteller.
One who devotes their life to the art of telling stories by spilling their soul upon a blotted page.
When I was much younger I could tell you of the many adventures that took my imagination for a spin.
I thought by now I'd have seen more than this town that no longer serves me, I believed there would be far more beauty than heartache and ink letters re...
Monday 1st May 2023 10:14 pm
Vagabond.
Now that I'm completely lost I've no more desire to return. Im deeply wrought with guilt that it seems I've forgotten the way home- But home was never a place anyhow, it was merely a state of mind and for now it's somewhere I can no longer find.
Friday 28th April 2023 4:17 pm
Dad.
Since I was young I watched you and learned-I learned things of use and things that feed my soul. You gave me my name and showed me to add, You taught me to laugh and hold my tongue, how to use a hammer and swing a bat.
My favorite things remind me of you
If it wasn't for your tough love I don't know where I'd be
Who I am is because of you
I look in the mirror and I see you
Now I watch you an...
Tuesday 25th April 2023 5:06 pm
Black Widow
Some say she arrived from hell with flaming hair and a devilish grin.
Her eyes flashed misery in such a captivating way
It was enough to torture the most upright of men
Yet somehow they always returned,
Surrendering their hearts for more.
Sunday 23rd April 2023 1:18 am
Static Sounds.
She’s at home tonight
Pacing wood floors
Wondering when
Mechanical thoughts emerge from her subconscious
There must be a way to endure all this solitude
Delicate fingers caress the knob of an old radio
Piece by piece her broken heart crawls through her skin
The music gets louder as she tears herself apart
Haunting screams from within fill the void of absolute nothingn...
Saturday 22nd April 2023 3:01 am
January.
I met my lowest moment and became one with the darkest parts of me.
I was fragile, weak, broken beyond repair.
Life was an annoyance and breathing was just a chore.
It felt as if I couldn’t fathom such pain any longer until I came face to face with skies of blue-
Once again a reminder that hope lives.
I do believe it to be found in the daring colors of the sunset, the subtle whisper...
Wednesday 22nd February 2023 3:03 am
Wild Woman (20.)
I wanna dance to the sound of fiddles in the wind on a rainwashed Sunday wearing nothing but a mudstained hat upon my fiery head.
Friday 17th February 2023 9:19 pm
Pain is a friend
After being lost for so long the pain began to feel like a friend
It felt good to acknowledge something even if it hurt
After all
There was nothing else to hold on to.
Monday 30th January 2023 4:05 am
Neverland.
Dearest Peter,
The end was closer than ever before
Just a hint more of internal turmoil and I may crumble
Tonight I didn’t want to exist.
It’s not that I wanted to die, I just didn’t want this particular life
I wished for my only presence to be alive in ink letters, for the dusty pages to become my source of oxygen, to be the character in story of a finer setting.
Somehow misplaced I...
Tuesday 24th January 2023 2:43 am
A Poet worth breaking for
I’ve learned that danger has blue eyes and sunkissed hair, and no matter how hard one tries, once passion ensues no one gets out alive. It’s the reason you and I just can't seem to say “Goodbye.”
That cigarette clenched tightly between your teeth is nothing but a thrilling disguise.
Your effortless smile and poetic mannerisms leave not even a mark upon me, at least not of late.
You ramble on ab...
Saturday 21st January 2023 5:05 am
my first love.
You might’ve crossed my mind today but I’ll never confess for sure
The pain you caused was quite the ache
I almost didn’t make it out alive
But I danced my way through the darkness, all my feelings I learned to surrender to the rain
This cruel world has ways of making us remember
The songs still linger
When my soul is feeling a bit reckless I pick up my tired limbs and sway
I picture bleedi...
Tuesday 17th January 2023 4:38 am
Empty.
Have you ever seen a chest so empty?
Not even a single beat echoes from beneath pale skin.
Completely vacant, yet no room for another disappointment
One can only wonder what is to become of a soul like that.
Monday 16th January 2023 4:59 pm
Reminiscing upon simpler times.
The only time I could stand to bear the dead season was when I was standing under trees,
below broken branches, staring up at a gray sky in early November.
Cool air bit at my knuckles but I was determined to clear a path to roam
Further I wandered listening to the sound of a Lion’s roar
Crystal streams frozen solid, skeleton leaves trapped underneath
My boot slips only the slightest while I s...
Wednesday 11th January 2023 2:31 am
Journal Entry- Send Help.
This morning I sat back as I watched the world decay.
Snow fell into place
What a long season of winter I've settled into.
Miracles don't always happen and the "Why" is an answer we will never get.
Once in a while I wonder if the universe favors some people more than others.
I wait here patiently in a moment of rotting hell with anticipation for the magic that is meant to come.
Yet this...
Saturday 7th January 2023 9:55 pm
Fever Dream.
Deep in despair
Hiding within these walls
Are my gut wrenching thoughts
Truths above lies
Your words against mine
I’m lost between branches
In a city so bare
It’s obvious there’s no place for me here
If I jump, who will catch me?
What soul would even care?
Just a doubt away from flying now
I envy the ground as it shakes
Won’t you lie with me here and stare into the sun
Blinded by beau...
Thursday 5th January 2023 3:46 pm
December
"I smell snow"
It was the fourth when the first white blanket covered the ground, instantly I felt a love/hate connection with the sight.
The cold weather had never been my friend, but this time the emptiness inside me braved a welcome towards the season.
Most days I am tired, just trying to get through, patiently waiting for a warmer sunrise to appear again.
Not all days have been tortur...
Wednesday 4th January 2023 4:42 pm
I'm leaving you tonight.
Saying goodbye to you is impossible
So I won't say anything at all.
...
Who would've thought I'd leave you here, starting a new page in the new year
All I've gained is this broken heart
Our tainted love has fallen apart.
Sunday 1st January 2023 1:06 am
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