Bitter woman wrapped in black lace 
You don’t know how to feel anymore
Crying only when you hear Petty sing
Is your heart so broken that you forgot how to breathe?

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I found myself at the bottom and wrote a paragraph,

Where only the most terrible of thoughts exist

I open it up and read from time to time,

When I’m lost and can’t breathe

…

Like tonight

When lonely is an insufferable taste

And my tears have saturated what is left of my skin

Unanswered prayers slip from sealed lips and dissipate into thin air

Once the wind shifts directi...

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A thousand little paintings cover the walls 
From ceiling to floor black and yellow sunflowers make up the room. 
Each brush stroke speaks comfort to her soul
She refuses to set down the brush in case her mind ran away
The paint was a lifeline, a way of survival in the most troubling times. 
Another canvas added to the fire
And soon not the last
For the madness runs deep.
A vast sea of emo...

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If it wasn't for your married finger 

I'd write my deepest sentiments in cursive across faded paper 

And send it to you by earth's breath 

Maybe then 

Your feelings would still linger 

Quite possibly

Our future wouldn't fold over in disappointment

For I'd spend another four years waiting on your footsteps

That way 

You'd love me instead. 

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It didn't take long before the leaves began to fall, revealing sad frostbitten trees, a mark that the dead season has come
There's an echo in the breeze 
Yet Something about that haunting moment brings me peace.
I think it's the way the November rain falls pleasntly upon broken piano keys, its a feeling I'm unable to describe, maybe it's a sense of comfort I feel. 
Bitter coffee teases my pale...

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I drank from your lips and tasted your soul
A delicacy that must be savored
Tension crawls through the sheets
And with each breath I wished I’d die, because every second without you is a waste.

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“What is healing?”
...
I asked the moon. 
Not a reply was given
So once more I tried. 
“Because I think I like the sound of that, no matter the pain it takes to get there. Yes, I’d like to
feel free again.”
The moon smiled
“You will learn to love again.”
“When?”
“When you’re ready to let go.”

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And he’s a poet
Simple in many ways yet entirely complex
Except on Sunday afternoons, when the sun half exists and the breeze shifts autumn leaves
across the street- There, one might catch the faintest smile bloom across his ever present frown. 
I’ve caught it one or twice, usually in the moment where our fingers intertwine
Or when the sweetest bottle of red touches his lips.
Shortly after, 
...

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My tears are relentless
His eyes are comfort
But comfort is an ocean away
And I’m drowning.

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No, you don't owe them a thing
But should you offer anything 
I pray it be kindness. 

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But what is life without pain? 
Where there is agony you find perseverance
And without that we couldn't know strength.

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No. I don't have a lot.'

She said

But I do have my soul

And that is not nothing

In fact it's quite something

Perhaps it is all I need

To wander through life

Exposing my heart

Instead of riches. 

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I tried to deprive myself of what I knew best in this world. In a way it began to feel like an addiction, no matter how hard I rejected the thought it was the only way for me to cope. 
I'm a hopeless junkie desperate for an outlet wealthier than this. 
Angry, I decided there was more to me than just self expression. 
It didn't take long until I broke down. 
Maybe that is my souls way of scream...

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And still
I find myself staring across the same field,
The one that once connected me to you. 
Bittersweet irony greets my cheek in a way that's almost funny to me. 
I wasn't meaning to get lost in what used to be, I only needed a moment to myself

A brief second to reflect in the hallway of our past. 

...

You don't belong in my heart 
That's why I keep you in my thoughts. 

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Would you,

Bleed in my cup of ink? 

Be the words I poetically disguise as false truth 

Decorate my paper with your melancholic scent

It is in your agony I find delight

Though not for long

You abuse my creativity until a fire sends flames soaring across the sky. 

Without your kiss engraved upon my lips there is nothing left to ignite. 

I feel it now 
My soul slowly begins t...

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September-
Barely existed. 
The month made its way briskly, seeming as if there was hardly time to breathe 
Everything kind of just evaporated out of my control, I'm left feeling like this life I live is no longer mine. 
Whisked away without a thought, I fell into a routine that drained any ounce of joy I possessed from my soul 
I am bone dry 
I was not made for this kind of life 
Yet day a...

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While the entirety of the world was in such a damn hurry she smoothed out the grass below her and fixated her gaze upon the most golden sky. 

Unbothered

At peace. 

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I fell in love again 
With words
My failures
This body I posses
The passion of Picasso 
And the insanity that was Van Gogh. 
I felt the music again 
Only to fall back into despair 
But not as constant as it once was 
There were countless days where I imagined a world without myself, this wasn't anything new yet it felt more real...more intense than before.  All around me the hurt felt as ...

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You and me 
Meet on Thames street 
A place existing only in our dreams
Two souls connected by a punk song. 
On the verge of breaking down 
Your touch remains a mystery 
So I settle back and listen close to the sound of our little tune
Still Imagining I'm somewhere other than the current state of mind 
Now joined by you in euphoric harmony 
Our beings intertwine 
Let's never leave this ho...

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It was those eyes.

That attitude

The cigarette

He fit my gaze perfectly

Reading into my stare

He closed the space between us

All chaos slipped off somewhere beyond that moment 

And 'oh my god' I thought 

I couldn't keep my hands off him.  

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The rain sticks to my window

Falling slowly in perfect transparent lines

And I am a perfect example of irony as I stare blankly into oblivion

Thunder is sweet chaos in the background of my melancholy daydream

That my friend is the sound of golden imagery. 

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Heat waves and sensual conversation
That's what I remember when I finally awoke
Except I was alone with a familiar shock down my spine
And now that my eyes are open I'd rather be drifting off 
Closed off. 
I spent summer afternoons lost in a sleepy haze
Nothing felt...like anything 
It was empty 
Numb 
Not even the music spoke anymore
I drowned myself in heavy angst but felt nothing 
My...

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I whispered a thousand wishes into the wind

All of them involving you

As I read the words you so carefully craft I find it impossible not to swoon

Every line, no matter how short exhales vibrant colors before me

Fuck inspiration when your poetry is all that I need

Breathless beyond regaining composure

A small question dares to linger

Do I entertain your thoughts the way you do...

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Satisfaction runs deep

Like Non platonic energy

And it's making me go crazy

I'll pour another glass

Make that two

If my evening is spent holding back daring confessions

It's obvious to me I'll need a friend resting in both hands.

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I got lost in June

Submerging myself in song lyrics

And hiding behind cigarette smoke

A sadness swept over me

One like I'd never known

I loathed the universe for playing unfair

Angry tension devoured my inner thoughts and thus I discovered such a thing as writers block.

When the pen no longer fit my hand I gripped what was left of the sunset and refueled my soul.

Unabl...

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I was in a bad way the other morning. 
I got lost in my head, thinking up horrible ideas that left me feeling ill. 
What is it that makes us act so miserably?
Is it by nature? 
The human condition is a crippling disease without a fix
The past will live to haunt you if you fail to make peace
I would know the pain of holding on better than anyone, because I myself cannot fathom the idea of let...

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The darkness swallowed me once again 

Holding me captive with no proof of an escape 

The walls close in as I wrestle my fears 

A part of me is starting to believe I belong here. 

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At last I see myself from a stronger point of view

As I look over my shoulder yesterday calls out once more

When the past begs for my attention

I remember not to dwell but to make peace

For these scars remind me that these are better days

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I once heard a song about a wayward son

Who paved his path with words of self encouragement

It was then that he found what he sought with peace

Even through storms of emotion he had courage to chase his purpose

I too shall lay my weary head to rest

And wander without fear

Forget my tears, I won’t need them anymore

Soon I will be on my way.

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Tonight I’d like to write about how lovely it is to hear birds chirping

Or even newfound hope making its way from the distance

However, no matter how hard I try

I’m afraid I’d fail a thousand times

There’s a small voice inside spitting toxic rhymes

I may lack an abundance of qualities

What I ought to be is far from who I am

I underachieve where the average effortlessly exceeds

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Alone in my corner,

Where the quietude protects

I settled down for the evening 

Ready for a poetic escape 

Putting my pen to paper, I stopped 

Then asked myself; 

What does one do when 

The tears won’t fall 

The mouth won’t speak 

The brain can’t think 

And the heart won’t beat? 

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Tightly I cling to every word that I write 

No space lies between the pen and myself 

The contents spill across perfect lines 

Shifting focus from the world around me to my interior universe 

Seeing letters form words is a sweet release 

It’s been said that I carry no emotion inside this small frame of mine 

I’ve never heard such nonsense

Fools see only the surface, never behi...

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Music bled through cracked wallpaper

Sour notes and power chords sent vibrations through the floorboards

His calloused fingers brushed slowly over mine

Even in the screams of instrumental chaos we found silence

Those eyes I never saw again. 

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Hey,

Just remember 

You will survive 

It’s only a matter of time 

Until the sun rises 

Peace isn’t so far 

Nor hope out of reach 

No mountain too high 

Ocean too deep

For you are strong my friend

So swim to the shore 

You've been here once

Done this before

Battleworn I'm sure 

But nonetheless safe 

Stand up, climb, be one with the waves 

It seems imp...

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Raindrops fell softly 

Like soulful lyrics

For the first time in what must be a year I found comfort

It was beautiful 

Just sitting there mesmerized by the sound 

Hope was not lost like I once claimed it to be 

In the distance were faint notes of a piano 

Composed of a melody dainty and lonesome

Moments passed without my knowledge 

I was lost somewhere between fiction an...

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You find that thing 

The one you can’t live without 

You’d sell your soul for

You’d bleed and die for 

And you chase it 

With sweat in your eyes and dirt in your lungs

Follow it until your knees give out 

Because where you land

Is exactly where you are meant to be.

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If you look at all things through the eyes of an artist, you see everything has purpose and everything has beauty. Even people. Especially people. 

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Words bleed 

They pour 

Raw 

Untouched

From the heart

Ink stained emotion 

Submerges me

It hurts 

So I create 

Art is for the soul 

Feed me 

This passion 

Is the only thing 

Keeping me alive. 

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The way of the coward isn’t for the faint of heart

For this road is paved with miserable faces and shaky hands

If you wander far enough you may find yourself blinded by deception

Of course the pain endured is self inflicted

Whether the wound be gaping or completely numb, it was intentional.

Sing an ode to the misguided souls disguised as free birds

We are the stargazers, fal...

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I once fell down a rabbit hole I don’t recall the pleasure of meeting 

I was taken by surprise 

It was as if the earth tricked me and swallowed me whole 

The faster I fell the less I became aware of my surroundings 

All I could feel was the intense fear of oblivion 

What lies below me?

How much further would I fall before I plummet to my death? 

If I close my eyes will this al...

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You never desired to be here, yet somehow you find yourself walking down a blank hallway, following that blue line.

Your heart thumping anxiously in your chest as you realize you are lost. 

You pace back and forth, studying the same floor until suddenly every tile becomes significant, you begin memorizing the image of each individual square, 

the polish, 

the scuff marks 

It all bec...

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Tucked behind a corner booth table I caught a glimpse of a lonely shadow lingering in a vacant corner. Immediately my attention was drawn to an unfamiliar face with a tortured sort of composure. Had I not found the courage to recite a friendly greeting an opportunity would have been missed. 

I sat with my back against the wall, the taste of stale coffee on my tongue

My thoughts ran back and ...

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In your lifetime you may stumble across one who makes your soul ache and your heart crave

It’s a longing,

A yearning

For something more than what this world has to offer.

You break a sweat fighting for a chance.

Man on a journey

Misunderstood by most

Tired and weary from the chase

She caught your eye now she’s got you by the tongue

You meditate in search for answers

W...

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Maybe once or twice I’d cross your mind tonight, and quite possibly you’d reminisce for the sake of our youthful past times. 

Might it even arch your brow to wonder where I’m at now. 

Remember when it was me you wanted to walk alongside you through troubled waters? In and out of love with you I fell, indecisively I fled despite your constant admiration for me. Truth is, I believed no matter ...

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Heavy was her heart as it sat upon her sleeve 

Split open,

Bleeding out.

Just another casualty on display for those who dared to recite their condolences 

Oh, but she continued her escapade 

Refusing to allow the condition of her cardiac woes to keep away her passion 

The wind called her name and like a wild card with no destination, she tossed herself into the storm

Landing f...

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I'm deprived of the simplest form of living 

The connection that comes from human interaction, simple conversation, lengthy chats. 

I've been alone for too long 

It seems I've numbed myself 

My only friends are a whisper through broken speakers 

I follow their words like I follow the sun

My lifeline 

I've never been in love deeply enough to be consumed by the fire, but I imagi...

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Halfway through a cup of coffee she paused 

To remember 

who she is now is not who she once was 

And what a shame that is.

-Wild Woman. 

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There’s a little madness in us all 

Many open the door to curiosity

Very few return 

I myself am still wandering beneath the mushrooms which shade my head 

The only way out is paved with bleeding souls 

We are all just prisoners here, of our own device

Surviving off greed and drugs

Lost inside our own Hotel California 

My own deception caught me by the throat and passed a b...

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January first, 

finally the Celtic fiddle sent waves of music into the atmosphere while spreading prosperity into the New Year. 

Snow fell from the sky forming a white blanket upon the open field. 

She knelt down slowly, gently pressing her palm into the cold, dense snow. 

The cold made her feel powerful. 

She took a handful of snow, lifting it to her face, admiring the faint sparkl...

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