See their faces so jaded

With all the torturous barking they hear

Over and over and over again

Assaulting their innocent ears

Our mouths keep spitting out poison

There’s bile wrapped in every word

After all these years of affection

How did our love become so absurd?

And I hope, just hope

You sleep sound and safe in your single bed on this night

I kn...

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Offend a Daily Mail reader – today!

In our miniscule existences upon this planet Earth

There’s precious few occurrences to occasion us true mirth

So listen up real loudly, those with brains and minds to spare

Who still hang on to plucking out true hope from thinnest air

Here’s the solution, if you’re open to such play

Just offend a Daily Mail reader today

...

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Been there

Done it

Eaten it

Drunk it

Almost drowned in it

Nearly died

Praised it

Cursed it

Dodged it

Traversed it

Just you name it

I’ll have tried

Smoked it

Snorted it

Been traumatised by it

Reduced to tears by it

Laughed and cried

Run it

Walked it

Chased it

Caught it

Wished I hadn’t bothered s...

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