The chaos in my mind
is killing me,
my life, a bad trip
on LSD
a rush to the brain,
serotonin, dopamine
all at once shining
blue light
a mind so open,
a heart so full,
peace,
such peace,
the sweetest sleep.

Memories are mirages,
I cannot reach.

A sinking feeling,
a dread inside around I go,
again and again,
down the rabbit hole,
just once more,
one last time
looking for a ...

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I don't know my way,
I've always walked blind,
dazed by the light,
bound to the dark,
heart tattered and torn,
mind vacant and worn.

The soul had a song once
but I lost it in the fog.

Alone now, 
I wander
forever forlorn,
the bird long flown,
my hope echoing blue
shatters on the sun.

©JM.Cole

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My heart dances 
the sun yearns for cloud 
the blue in my orbit 
so big so loud 
nothing no more 
standing in my way now 
they left the offering in the green 
black and blue, yellow too 
my golden vision 
from the desert to the wood I run 
there's a dog in the cloud 
and the moon is full and bright 
loud I see all the colour  
flickers flickers flickers blue 
purple red too 
a full ...

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Sometimes you just have to 
throw your cards 
against the wind 
and watch where they land 
six plus five is eleven 
shows me where to dive 
how to jump 
blind 

deep inside 
the mirror behind 
the future a wall 
blank 

white 
tall. 

©JM. Cole 

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All my days are like mud.
Birth is the gateway to hell.
I been standing
most my life on the edge.
Alienation in a world of same.

©JM.Cole

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Angel to ghost 
I go 
alone 
the night cold 
heavy heart torn 
rain hails bones 
brutal ache my mistake 
always alone 
always alone 
trying trying 
to go back in time 
to a place in my mind 
paradise denied 
burning inside
blue ice fire 
cracks a pain so deep 
only sounds like these 
evoke awake demons 
buried brittle knees 
signal transmits 
a radio waves 
echo cellos past 
...

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doesn't really matter anymore

which one I follow

soul blinded my heart

cracks like a cello

my art melts

absently full 

tipping flipping

upside down

and back in on itself

all the walls melt away

dreams obliterate my fate

with destiny I dance

take my chance

in the black of night

nobody ever

really holds your hand right.

I write every night

like it's...

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I see the star I do not run 
I fall apart I come undone
I live for it 
the rain the burn 
the everlasting storm 
a rush a drug 
a hurricane of pure 
fucking love.

I never met a siren 
didn't drag me out to the deep 
I drowned a few times 
came back whole complete 
from under the sea 
now I tie a rope to the lighthouse 
and swim when I please 
when I get the need 
I dig my grave 
...

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I stare straight into the sun 
a rock doesn't in the river run 
unlike the witch 
I sink like a stone 
unknown 
cold 
alone 
as in the beginning 
numb 
to my existence 
lost 
in oblivion 
a round a square 
to triangle crowned 
no coming back 
the clown drowns 
there is no sound 
out in the clouds
upside down 
hanging on a frown 
my colour fogs 
to a clay like brown 
I whistle...

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My head is full of numbers, 
my heart is full of dread 
if I go from black to blue 
all the rhymes 
will come out new. 
Red bleeds to yellow 
and all the numbers are blue
the three comes in threes and
makes the nine incomplete and 
the moon tells the secrets 
I'm not meant to keep 
it's a message of the future 
and the past complete. 

A half yellow star sharp 
pierces my art.
The ...

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I miss the rush, 
the release, 
my dopamine, 
my beautiful heroine 
addicted to you,
I never felt so blue.
It was inevitable 
that I would lose 
lost in the hues of my 
perfect muse.
Intoxicated in your mist  
searching out my sweet bliss, 
hoping for anything but

indifference.

Be my nepenthe 
and chase away the sorrow 
that leaves me so hollow.

My chemical high, 
my sweet ...

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There's a tunnel of light 
inside my mind 
through which I travel 
when the black rain falls loud 
is the sound of my soul 
hollowing out 
a fragment in time 
behind the lines I seek 
to define the being inside 
the feeling that's leaving 
my heart is racing
my vacant brain is aching 
for all the mistakes I'm making, 
the art I'm forsaking,
everything on fire 
blazing. 

©JM.Cole

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It's just a memory 
of a feeling I feel always 
when the leaves are leaving 
the air slows cold 
wet wind smells low.
Lonely is the season. 

©JMCole

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Going to die if I can't write
the moon is falling falling 
out the sky time is blind 
the night flies by, 
wind screams sin, 
a howling white oblivion 

time time time 
ticks ticks ticks 
tick tock 
tick tock
dust to rock to dust 
drops 
partial particles 
squared and triangled
falling fearless 
into the blue 
I follow the rainbow 

rabbit skips 
the echo drips 
upside down 
...

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Time is infinite now
music carries the essence 
of a soul like an echo inside
repeating rhythmically 
drumming through history 
thud thud thud comes the love 
blue red is my blood
blue was the colour 
I caught from above

like a train in my brain 
acid rain stains colour 
reclaims the lights flash 
either side a fairground ride 
alive inside my mind 
feels always like 
I'm crashing...

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Am I as impalpable as I imagine myself 
or am I verdant and sarcastic, 
opposites of what I should aspire to be? 
We all have our dragon to slay; 
I have many. 

My mind is as a billabong, 
backed up with emotion, 
I cannot control. 
Pain stretches like rivers 
into deep green fields, 
I'm so isolated in my misery 
I can feel the mistral of Southern France 
on my saffron coloured face...

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I am my own best friend, 
me and my burning pen. 
Together alone 
through everything 
we have been,
my papermate and I 
find myself, I lose my way,  
I lose myself, I find my way, 
I come back around again 
then square I go, 
alone.

Cut the nose, spite the face, 
I got pride, I got space, 
not a number, not a mistake. 
Slave never 
a sheep black as me 
so black I am the light, 
...

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Your words are hollow, 
your words I swallow, 
time and time again 
even after 
action did not follow, 

I still swallowed 
and in return 
every piece I gave, 
my soul, my heart, 
my disturbing brain 

and you just left me 
standing in the rain 
carrying my pain 
so dismayed I caved 
into shame. 

The rage a blunt stain 
upon the page.

©JMCole 

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Pitter patter 
the heart does shatter. 
Mad as a hatter 
but it don't matter. 
Manic but not yet scattered.
Battered, tattered, flat, 
I matter. 

You matter, I matter,
we all matter eh 
even under the rain 
still washing off our stains. 
Matters matters matters 
that we still feel the pain 
of our souls pitter pattering on 
down the drain.

©JMCole 

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Walking along 
listening to the birdsong 
dancing on the wind  
a seagull flew by 
look to the right 
tree in the sky 
makes me feel alright.

Spin the wheel, 
the sandman steals 
sometimes 
the leaves deceive, 
blinded by the green 
the ocean dreams 
three little trees 
one full seed,
black and blue 
inbetween the green 
a reddened hue. 

Eleven points in tact, 
the lights, t...

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I’ll meet you at sunrise 
in a past life. 
Amber moon burns the sky, 
I await dawn, 
the changing light. 
I think of you and I smile inside. 
Deep with passion, 
you make me feel so alive.

©JMCole 

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A storm is coming 
and I can't sleep. 
I can feel the deep 
lapping at my feet. 
Tides tease 
waves black and violent 
breathe, plead
come inside take a peek. 
I think I retreat 
go back 
hide in the trees 
where the owl 
steals my dreams 
and the grass 
colours everything green.
Not all is 
always as it seems 
in between lies 
the true heart of things.

©JM.Cole

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Lost in the summer haze 
still filtering out those greys,
still absent in waste, 
vacant in change 
rearranging my stain 
an inherent pain 
displaced 
the colour 
drips, 
drips, 
drips. 
My bones leak into my soul, 
the mud absorbs everything 
but the flow 
and the black fog 
still follows me home.

The desert can be bleak 
especially when the colour
constantly leaks
and the sa...

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I been sleeping under the ocean, 
drowning in emotion, 
mind empty and slowing, 
sound but a commotion 
too loud without meaning.

Time passes silent still 
all my words desert me 
when I lose my will.
Tired of climbing 
the same sodden hill.

It rains and it hails 
and the sun comes 
in and out of view. 
The smell is old but new, 
the memory evades 
but the pain, still 
cuts rig...

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I think of you my ocean view, 
my sweet sunrise, 
my mystical moonlight blue. 
I think of you all the time, 
all the while 
drowning in my sleep. 

You drive me crazy 
with your absence. 
You drive me crazy 
with your presence. 
I love the chaos you bring, 
leaves me incomplete, 
open, breakable.

The less you give, 
the more I want. 
The more you give, 
all I want. 
I long for ...

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Can't write a line for the fire 
burning in my mind. 
An ocean of flames, 
she ignites inside. 
A passion so deep, 
I thought long ago died. 
I buried it down 
and now it does rise.

I see a beauty in her eyes, 
a spark that's hard to define, 
even harder to find. 
Her smile sets the soul alight 
and I bask in the glory 
of her perfect light.

When I listen to you read,
such a fee...

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I was waiting 
for the rain to stop 
for the sun to shine 
in the rising moon 
for a sign 
for the light
to set fire 
to the rhyme 
inside my mind 
so I can forget myself
and fall out of time.


©JMCole 

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Pure gold she is, 
pure gold to me, 
pure sunlight amber glow, 
pure moonlight true blue, 
purple green,
pure red, a dream,
pure starlight white, 
pure light defined. 

So much light 
she puts inside, 
she glows, it flows, 
heart no more dark 
shades bend blue.  
My soul she does kiss open, 
a vast array of colour erupts, 
whole inside 
she leaves me always
complete ecstasy infin...

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The moon comes 
but nothing is all I got. 
The trees refuse to speak 
and the breeze 
no longer heals my pain
like rain 
the words would fall 
but now nothing, 
nothing at all, 
blank pages appall.
I look inside,
a grey brick wall 
and I wonder
how it got so tall.


©JMCole 

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It started out basic, 
platonic, 
the way any friendship does 
but inside each new day 
it grew and grew. 
Such a burn in my soul 
makes my feet itch 
and the heart does yearn 
to be with you. 

So nervous you make me, 
ecstatic too. 
Makes me so shy, 
makes the heart cry, 
makes my mind wild,
such a drive inside.
My soul soars 
at the sound of your words. 
A voice so divine 
do...

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Don't be afraid of the night,
take the feathers 
and follow the light
for in the light we forever fly, 
eternally divine,  
immortalised through time.

©JMCole 

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She swims the deep blue,

chaos in her heart,

mind a bright spark,

words that shine a light afar.

A fire burning in her soul

as she does not yet know

she's already whole.

Deep as the deepest sea

the deep of her words

speaks to me.

Can't see the forest

for the trees

when I hear her read.

Her voice,

it does

such beautiful things

and I get lost

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Love never captures the stars 
for we burn in the hollow 
of the black hole 
tearing at our souls. 

Yearning to be free, 
on our knees, we plead, 
blind at times in defeat,
deaf to the trees, 
the hearts true needs 

but on we climb toward the light, 
the rainbow an illusion of mind 
knowing the journey is the gold, 
that truth comes in numbers
and in reverse the future unfolds.

...

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One star and half a moon 
in the purple sky tonight. 
Half a mind, half a heart, 
half a soul, half life.

A pain so big inside, 
I can’t help but cry 
for the hope gone. 
For the golden round 
lost underground. 

The pain feels full 
but absent, 
present piercing tragic 
to me 
she was pure magic. 

A light that shone 
into my heart. 
I felt the pull so palpable, 
attaching no...

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Feeling low, 
absent is my flow,
guilt eats at my bones 
and all my wrongs 
follow me home.

I've got no will 
to do the things
I need to do.

The sun burns me blue,
I can't hear the trees,
the moon always leaves
and my heart does 
drown out in the sea.

©JMCole 

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You are the sunshine on a cloudy day, 
the bright blue sky breaking through 
a rainy afternoon.
The only star in my night sky, 
illuminating dreams long lost to me.

I'd swim in your ocean 
for all of eternity 
and be twice as free 
as I ever could have perceived.

My mind doesn't wander 
at the sound of your voice. 
I feel calm. 
I feel peace. 
I feel at ease. 
I think you're swee...

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A cacophony of sound beats around 
inside my brain, deafening drops.

Sunday misery breaking the silence 
of yesterdays. Rainy Mondays, 
no hope for tomorrows.

We come and go. We come and go
when the floodgates of pain are open. 

Forgiveness closes doors 
left ajar in anger. 
Time moves forward, 
changes are subtle, 
inevitable. 

Hope does damage to the living dead. 

Alone in...

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I shut it down 
when it gets too loud 
and I go back 
underground. 

I feel it like a thud, 
dull but hollow,  
loud and shallow. 
I wallow, I bellow. 
I hope, I hope 
then I damn the hope 
down the hole,

throw the rope. 

I’m afraid, 
afraid of my brain, 
afraid of the rain, 
my pain, 
the words on the page,
the ever growing rage, 
the crushing despair, 
the hate. 

No mo...

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Life is full of illusion, 
a process of disillusion. 

No perfection in decay. 

To die, 
to be reborn, 
to be all that I am 
is eternity. 

Oblivion only comes 
to those that seek it.


©JMCole 

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Rinse repeat 
the soul clean 
walk the tightrope 
to my dreams 
pull apart 
my stitches and seams 
bleed out the bleak 
buries me beneath 
drowning in defeat 
living on my knees 
upside down 
the yellow screams 
in threes.


©JMCole 

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Scream into the night,
my agony, my plight.
With all my might, 
I pray,

I beg the lord 
to take the pain away, 
erase the mistake 
that is my brain.
Infectious.
Awkward.
Wayward.
Onward.

Climbing the walls 
inside my mind,
a scrambling mist,
the basement of my soul, 
my hollow void.

Out of time, out of mind 
every path a one way street. 
Defeat leads me on,  
a dead end, 
...

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Sometimes a river,
sometimes an ocean, 
a trickle, a flood 
a commotion of emotion.

Stars explode into the sun 
and the moon does run 
undone. 

Midnight blue the sky inside 
passion and desire, 
tornado and lightning 
combined.

Open clouds, 
rain thunders numbers.

Today I burn 
cages and ghosts.
Tomorrow I fade 
to grey absent space.


©JMCole 

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The moon comes at me 
through the trees, 
golden gleaming 
picking apart my seams. 

The sound it screams 
and the colour drowns me 
in my dreams, 
echoes low 
in twos and fours, 

infinity comes 
through open doors 
shaded in cloud, 
dim then alive 
so bright the shine. 

A diamond flickers 
five times.

©JMCole 

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Living on borrowed time, 
buying happiness on credit. 
Can’t pay the debt 
when despair comes to call.
When despair comes to call, 
I don’t open the door. 

Every time I let it in, 
leaves me on the floor,
crawling around 
in a haunting abyss 
sinking lower than low. 

I miss the sun 
where once I did run. 
Can’t stop the flow of low
today, a wave takes me under. 

Swim for the s...

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The moon burns bright,
the sign comes clouded 
upside down I lie awhile 
see it straight 
a road unto itself 
my flaming hell, 
my fading oblivion. 
Straight down we follow 
the glow, 
hope 
flickers distant 
a hollow echo.
The river to the ocean 
always flows, 
the moon to the sun 
I always follow.
I swim the deep, 
I lose my feet, 
silent are the screams 
drowning out my dream...

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I followed the moon 
into the sun
through the desert heat,
the ocean deep, 
the forest evergreen 
and into my oblivion. 

I saw the future, 
I saw the past. 
I saw every little piece of me 
incomplete 
shattered in stars 
across the night sky. 

A landscape painting 
in my mind 
forever carved out, 
a dream inside. 

Past and future collide, 
stars align.
The moon fully golden...

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Drugs, 
self sabotage,
black of night
takes all light.

It snows in wonderland.

I lost my way,
drifted amiss.

The ego took control.

Hope floats,
a distant mess,
somehow less,
never more.

Restart,
begin again,
start anew.

In your view,
my sun shines blue.

©JMCole 

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As I look at the moon tonight.
It is full and bright 
blue illuminates through 
my mind, stars align.
I am fine.

Lately, 
I've been burning up inside
my twisted demise,
my dystopia.
Tunnel vision, 
lost my mission, 
lost my way, 
lost my vision. 

Each night I sit with silence, 
enveloped in despair.
Constrained,
penning lines in my mind, 
I fail to keep, 
losing too much slee...

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My heart does scream 
at the nothing in my hands. 
My hope evaporates slow,   
cold my soul floats,
fades absent to grey. 

Can't keep on 
coming back this way,
howling at the moon 
night and day 
disarray eating away 
my brain, inept 
abandons all my dreams. 

The nothing consumes, 
drizzle soaks right through. 
The rain gets inside 
my bones they ache, 
my life, a waste, 
a pi...

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I am at my best 
when I have nothing left 
for there is nothing to lose. 
Fear is a coffin, 
can bury you alive. 
Never be afraid to die 
for after life comes the light 
and all inside fly.

Life is a journey, 
a fucked up maze,
dark dark days 
much penance to pay, 
happy is in the chase. 
Opulence will end you 
but death will set you free. 
A pure heart does flutter
to the green ...

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I got poems 
in my heart for you 
but I can't get them out. 
For weeks now 
I've been writing you 
inside my mind, 
playing with the words, 
looking for the rhyme. 

You stop time 
with your eyes 
you own me complete 
the blue and the green 
inside a fury 
of colour and dreams.

A maddening desire 
you ignite inside, 
keeps me up 
most nights I can't sleep 
because I'm lost in ...

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Thoughts are heavy 
in my head,
feeling a familiar 
kind of dread.

The fog crowds, 
absorbs all thought.
The half moon hangs low, 
echoes a perfect glow.

It's dark inside my heart 
when I feel all the parts, 
I fall apart.

©JMCole 

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Sometimes I’m here, 
others elsewhere, 
gone, lost in my head, 
a round, a square. 

Underground, 
disappointment frowns. 

At my best always 
when there’s nothing left 
and all I ever do 
is stand on the edge.

©JM.Cole 

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There's no such thing 
as crazy is not sickness.

Conformity is suffocation. 

The pills kill the light, 
all else turns to dust 
and in the rain we all rust.

Lift it up, 
sweep it under, 
show the sun, 
no shame, no thunder. 

God forbid 
the rain should come. 
Can't waste time 
feeling the pain 

pick a box, pick a box 
they're all the same.

Grey. 

©JMCole 

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I see the blue purple
when I look 
into the blue green.
I see it crystal, 
pure and true
and my feeling 
comes in like a flood,
pure white 
unconditional love.
A bond for life, 
no matter the strife.

She’s an angel in my mind,
queen of my wonderland,
captain of my ship 
and my stormy sea 
she does command.
She’s a shining star 
in no man’s land.
She brings to me 
the sweetest ...

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Nothing will ease this ache,
this pain, 
this blank space.
My heart lies torn, 
so worn.

Words don't help, 
my mind a blur,
my sleepless brain, 
my feelings of dismay.
All these things 
pull me under,
awaken my thunder.

Alone we wonder 
and wander
from one star to another
trying in vain 
to illuminate the way
but the pain won't go away
no matter 
how we pray.

It all comes...

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What is fine? 
I mean fine.
When we say we are fine,
how fine can we be? 

What is it I cannot define 
with the word fine?

I am not fine. 
I am filled full empty. 
I am heavy. 

I am hope
less. 

Woe is I who is not fine 
for I cannot define me. 

Only in death will I rise. 

I had to die to realise 
to be reborn 
to come anew. 

I kill the self 
I don’t wish to be. 
I k...

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