been a while
its different this time.
let me explain what i mean
first, I'm back, maybe not for long but hi
Im hurting my body
people tell me to stop because of the long term effects
i don't care
i cant stop, even if i tried
i know what you're thinking, everyone does this
no, im not talking about vaping
im talking about the guilt i feel
after eating or drinking
certain thing...
Sunday 28th November 2021 12:19 am
i love you pt 1
I've never felt like this before
I know we will never be together
but I wish
the random drives
the random calls, texts, knocks on the door, notes, hugs
all for nothing
I know you told me the same seven-letter, three-word phrase once
but I also know you took it back later because it won't ever happen
at least that's what you told me
the first time we met,
I never tho...
Friday 12th March 2021 3:13 am
overthinking
the issue with overthinking
you think everyone hates you
when they don't
you think they are judging your every move
when they could not care less
you think that they are out to get you
when they could not give two shits about what you're doing in your life
the worst thing about overthinking?
it is the fact that no matter how much you tell youself that no one cares
...Tuesday 7th July 2020 8:18 am
letters to my best friend 1
thanks for always being there
sorry for being sensitive
thanks for always listening to me
sorry for not always being honest
sorry for not always sharing about my personal life
im just scared you're not going to want to be my friend anymore
thanks for never getting upset with me
even when im a bitch
which is most of the time
im so thankful to have someone like yo...
Tuesday 7th July 2020 6:25 am
hurt
why do people keep stabbing me in the back
what did I do wrong?
I keep getting hurt by people
yet when I get upset
they go behind my back and talk shit about me
Tuesday 7th July 2020 5:32 am
looking into the mirror
I hate the way I look
I can't stand it
I want to change my appearance
its just so difficult because everyone around me tells me that I'm fine just the way I am
but I dont think they are being honest
I hate mirrors
they are just a constant reminder of how much I hate myself and my appearance
"ugly"
a word I have been called multiple times by my so-called friends
getti...
Tuesday 7th July 2020 4:25 am
mood changing pill
birth control
the worst thing someone can take
can fuck up emotions
get into someone's mind negatively
make them feel horrible all the time about dumb things
makes them feel worthless
like a burden on someones life
tears
they get built up
just waiting to be released like an overflowed dam
Sunday 5th July 2020 9:51 pm
the second choice
being thought of last
forgiving someone who hurt you mutiple times
forgiving them everytime because you have no one else if you were to lose then
knowing that the tension is there, but ignoring it to not cause an arugment
Sunday 5th July 2020 9:48 pm
true friends..
I hope college doesnt suck
I hope that I can actually find people that care about me and who like me without faking it
it really hurts knowing that I dont have any friends
it really fucking hurts
I wish it was easy to make friends
I wish I didn’t have anxiety and I wish I didn’t overthink everything
that would make life easier
I just wish I had other people to hang out w...
Wednesday 1st July 2020 7:25 am
you love to see it
I wish people looked at me like they looked at my friends
Wednesday 1st July 2020 7:12 am
smile some more
I feel like I am never going to be happy in my life
I am never going to meet someone and fall in love
I am never going to find true friends
I love having one best friend, but without her, I just feel lonely in life
she is literally my only friend in my life
I cant talk to anyone else about why I am always so sad
I am sad because I cant express my feelings more because I tel...
Wednesday 1st July 2020 7:11 am
a repeat
I feel like people are going to think I am a bad person
and they wont want to be friends with me
im scared that everyone hates me
they think im annoying
they just are not telling me
I just want people to like me
Wednesday 1st July 2020 7:05 am
hi
I feel so annoying
why do I even have friends
I do not deserve them
maybe they are just fake friends
fake to me
nice to me for no reason
I feel like I shouldn’t trust people as much as I do because all they do is hurt me
I feel like I'm a burden and no one actually likes me
no one knows how to handle the "broken girl" so they pretend to be my friend
Wednesday 1st July 2020 7:04 am
2 am thoughts
sometimes
it sucks to hurt the peope you love
sometimes
you have to put yourself before others
sometimes
the truth hurts
Wednesday 1st July 2020 7:01 am
goodnight
as I lie here in my cold and empty bed, I think to myself
"will I ever be happy again"
the thought travels through my body
yet
the answer may never be found
Wednesday 1st July 2020 6:59 am
happy...
people should always be happy
whats there to be sad about?
people who are depressed are just asking for attention...right?
Wednesday 1st July 2020 6:58 am
love another
I look in the mirror and see someone who just isnt happy anymore
I feel bad for my friends, they have to deal with someone who cant even put on a fake smile anymore
I wish it was not like that
I wish I wasnt depressed
I wish I didnt have to act like I was fine
I wish I wasnt told to lie to my family about how im really feeling
I feel like breaking down every 5 seconds for n...
Wednesday 1st July 2020 6:56 am
peace
sometimes I feel like I'm never going to good enough for anyone
I just feel helpless
I feel like I can't spread anymore positivity
fake smiles are becoming difficult
sucks telling people to "stay happy" or "be positive" when I cant even follow those in my life
Wednesday 1st July 2020 6:50 am
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