depression (Remove filter)
a bad habit
i find myself texting you late at night
until you block me i’ll keep on coming back
wish i was only here out of spite
but in reality i need to talk to someone during my panic attack
i know it’s selfish to use you for reassurance
however it’s the only thing that can soothe my racing mind
and i haven’t gotten enough money for insurance
so i hope it doesn’t make you feel c...
Monday 22nd July 2024 5:12 am
late night walking
used to take things before going on walks
it’d be dark and cold
and i’d be underdressed
i couldn’t seem to withhold
i’d stumble around the neighborhood
trees and leaves would move
even though there was no breeze
i couldn’t seem to mentally improve
i grew more and more detached
would walk by a half way house everynight
i thought that perhaps that would one ...
Monday 22nd July 2024 5:10 am
going blind
i know you’re disappointed in me
we always scream for hours and fight
until i decide to go out on a walk by the big oak tree
even though i can barely see the sidewalk at night
im starting to think that i can’t see in general anymore
i look in the mirror and see someone new
it’s like i’ve never seen her before
i wonder if you feel that way about me too
my therapist...
Monday 22nd July 2024 5:07 am
unachievable dreams
didn't wake up with the intention of being bad
I don't know why there's a pit in my stomach when no one is dead
run around my house and verbally beat up my dad
the screams sound bloodshed
he says, "there's so much you wanna do"
and i obvert my eyes
wait around for a mental break-through
and make unachievable plans doing the highs
i wanna be a savior
and get th...
Friday 15th March 2024 2:39 am
chronic pain
i'm sick of doing the best i can
because it isn't ever enough
if I can't be good,
what's the point of being here at all?
I never sleep well anymore
even though I tell the doctors I sleep fine
I just stare at the ceiling
and live through the lives of others
sit in class with an ache behind my eyes
I can't even tell if the pain is real
excedrin can only do so much
and I think my toler...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:25 pm
supporting the economy
my worth is always fluctuating
you talk to me like I'm worth nothing
but when it's past nine pm I'm priceless
I can't tell if I'm a commodity
you told me you liked me out of the blue
it was almost out of impulse
like that pretty journal, you bought but never used
both are just things that are nice to have around
you didn't need to do that
you had plenty of things at home stuffed in yo...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:23 pm
the moon and the sun
you told me i’d only fail
laugh at my hopes and dreams
you act as if i’m frail
there’s often reoccurring themes
you know i’m not dumb
it’s just that you don’t care
so don’t ask me for gum
and don’t you give me that stare
i don’t know how we ever got along
we’re opposites like the moon and the sun
you probably think you’re the moon, but i think that you’re...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:21 pm
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