The barman nodded knowingly, she smiled and said “Bonsoir”

She moulded to a barstool and he brought her café noir.

Her scarlet beret matched the lipstick rosebud on her cup,

I sat beside her, caught her eye then winked and said “Ey up”

I said “hello love, what’s your name” She answered “Femme fatale”

I asked “Well, how’s it going lass?” she shrugged and said “Pas mal”

She pointed to an olive dish and whispered “Voulez-vous?”

“Another Abba fan,” I said, “My favourite’s Waterloo”

“Why not come back to my place, love, for coffee, chat, etcetera”

She raised an eyebrow, curled her lip, murmuring “Peut etre”

“Let me whisk you off,” I said. She muttered “Laisez faire.”

“Well darlin’ it’s you’re lucky night! I’m gonna take you there!”

I said “You want to eat something? I’ve heard it’s Cordon Bleu”

“Naturellement” she replied “It’s simply de rigeur”

“They do good fish and chips” I said “with mushy petit pois”

Looking down her nose she shook her head and said “Faux pas”

I said “Don’t you belittle me, my girl, I know your sort

You’re taking lots of liberties.” She answered “Vive le sport!”

She eyed the menu up and down then muttered “Quelque chose”

“Me too.” I said, confidently “Yes I’ll have one of those”

“It all looks very chic” she said, “Shall we go a la carte?”

“Oh no, we’ll eat right here,” I said, “I’ll have the onion tart”

She leaned towards me whispering seductively “Du vin?”

“Usually I do” I said “They call me white van man”

She finished off a plate of snails and proclaimed “Magnifique!”

I suggested “If you like we’ll do this every week”

A chauffeur stepped in at the door. She said “here is my car.”

“I’ve put the meal on my account so I’ll say au revoir”

“Don’t leave me on my own “I cried” to walk a lonely road”

“How can you be alone?” she winked “You have your chevre chaud”