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I Live Over There

Past houses where spouses are spitting at children

and satellite dishes are marks of distinction;

where villainous vermin shadow-box curtains

and takeaway cartons bespatter the gardens;

where nobody bothers to pick up the dogshit

while stood on the pavement twittering gossip

and stubbing out ciggies on steps without polish,

deporting the darkies and ordering curries

and voting for parties that all sound like Tories

while falling asleep to the new bedtime stories.

 

Past bungalows greying, decaying and sagging

where Cornelius Hawkins left himself hanging.

The neighbours come round 'cos the dog kept on yapping

at the rope in the loft from which he was dangling.

The TV left on but nothing worth watching -

I wonder what dogs make of men hung like washing.

 

Past knickers and needles and knives in the back

and the alley that leads to the railway track

where Harry the Alky in a flash of insight

had laid himself down between the train lines:

the train passed straight over and Harry survived,

some people just cannot do anything right.

Of course Harry eventually choked on his vomit,

now train drivers sound horns when approaching the crossing

as a warning of sorts to those bent on dying

and a curse to all others attempting a lie-in.

 

Past the park that the council desire for allotments;

the football pitch now has but one set of goalposts.

Bureaucracy's moved them to state its position;

the residents draw up another petition.

A perennial game of attack and defence

on cabbages, peas and a faded green bench

by the burial grounds where the dead cannot rest

but be shuffled around to make room for who's next,

before the barb-wire surrounding the wood

that's a small tuft of hair on a balding man's head

and it's soon to be shaven, the signs indicate,

for my local estate is a cancerous pate.

 

Oh, I do it disservice, I'm all bile and jaundice;

tomorrow the snow will have smoothed every surface.

The earth will resemble a different planet:

one I'm able to visit if not quite inhabit.

◄ Spontaneous Combustion

Scorpion ►

Comments

Philipos

Wed 17th Aug 2011 17:28

Has a rail journey feel this rhythm. Agree with much of what's already been said about this in terms of creative writing.

I wonder what readers will think of our society in a hundred years time if they see this.

My fav lines was: 'by the burial grounds where the dead cannot rest'

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Francine

Wed 17th Aug 2011 00:04

Very atmospheric...

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Neil Fawcett

Tue 16th Aug 2011 22:34

Dystopia for some, reality for others. Well crafted powerful piece.

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Ray Miller

Tue 16th Aug 2011 22:22

Thanks Banksy. Roger McGough, eh? I'm on the phone to Waitrose first thing in the morning.

Thanks Dave. I absolutely agree, you can only focus on so much in a poem, or a novel for that matter. Most things are filtered out. Where I live isn't nearly as bad as I've painted it, some days it just seems so and I have tried to acknowledge that at the end.

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Dave Bradley

Tue 16th Aug 2011 20:45

Have to agree with the others. A classy write.

I've lived in areas like that, Ray, for many years, and while it would have been possible to set out everything you describe and more, there were also some lovely people and some reasons to hope, despite the apparent dilapidation and neglect. The poet or writer is, of course, free to focus on what grabs them. But is it possible for anyone to sum up everything going in any area or town in one piece?

Perhaps Frank Capra would have thought so. It's a Wonderful Life shows how a whole town can be healthy through and through, or rotten through and through. But is that really what it's like?

<Deleted User> (7212)

Tue 16th Aug 2011 20:36

marvellous Ray !
reminds me rather of roger mcgough. B

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Ray Miller

Tue 16th Aug 2011 18:13

Thanks all.Seeing what does and does not go down well on WOL is one of life's more interesting lessons.
I was very conscious of those "wheres and whiles", Andy. But what to do?!
Isobel - can I quote you on the "poetic sweat and toil" to my wife? Not sure she's convinced.
I think when I wrote it I had Auden's Night-Train poem in mind, the rhythm anyhow. But Bob Dylan'll do, Dave!

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Dave Carr

Tue 16th Aug 2011 17:29

Great poem Ray. Nice rhythm. Put me in mind of Bob Dylan's Hard Rain.
Dave

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Isobel

Tue 16th Aug 2011 13:58

Well I hope you win your petition Ray...

Your work is always so well polished - genuine pieces of poetic sweat and toil. You deserve to be praised. x

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Elaine Booth

Tue 16th Aug 2011 13:49

Really evocative, packed with examples of pretty much everything! Great rhythm making it a real pleasure to read, to savour the words.

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Laura Taylor

Tue 16th Aug 2011 10:15

Great rhythm to this Ray - packed with images.

<Deleted User> (6895)

Tue 16th Aug 2011 09:28


blown away!

respect.

S.W.

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Andy N

Tue 16th Aug 2011 08:07

excellent, ray... really enjoyed reading this - not sure if it is a good job having two lots of where and while's in the first stanza, but it's a excellent piece certainly.

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Ray Miller

Mon 15th Aug 2011 20:29

Thank you, people. Roger McGough does ads for Waitrose? I didn't know that.
More Midlands than The North, Tone.
I wrote this last winter or maybe even the one before and I only just realised that snow might have a drug related meaning. Not that I ever....
Should I ask about the hairs on the top of your head, Tom?

<Deleted User> (9554)

Mon 15th Aug 2011 18:58

The hairs stood up on the back of my neck when I read this Ray.
Well captured. Tom Mc.

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Anthony Emmerson

Mon 15th Aug 2011 18:49

"Shameless" literary exploitation of the non-working classes Ray. Wait until they suss out where you live! Made me come over all nostalgic for my northern roots. There, but for a brace of clogs . . . Enjoyed the read,

Regards,

A.E.

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Ann Foxglove

Mon 15th Aug 2011 16:02

More excellence from you Ray.

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