Morning Ray
Thanks so much for your note on Predator, and for your good wishes for That London ?
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Hi Ray Glad yoiu liked the High Window. I co-edit it with Antrhony Costello. By all means try us with some poems, although I'm afraid competition is pretty stiff and and the winter and spring issues are now full. ASnything that comes in now will be considered for issue #6 in June.
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Hi Ray.
Thanks for your comment. Much appreciated
Ken.
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Just thought, Ray, you ,might like to check out my recently launched online journal The High Window. Here's a link:
https://thehighwindowpress.com/
David
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Hi Ray, to be ahonest I have agonized with thaty ruddy Penguins poem! I have nagged away at it even when I thought it was not really worth it. I've had a couople of comments, including yours, that encourage me to think that there might be something there. I did also wonder about keeping 'a bowl of air'. it's in italics because it's a translation of 'un bol d'air' the French for a 'breath of fresh air'. Mind you, your interpretaion is quite interesting so I might keep it in for that! I could put maybe a 'breath of air' but that's a bit ordinary. I think I need to leave it for a while and move on!
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elPintor
Sat 10th Sep 2016 23:48
Hey, Ray,
Thanks for your comments on my writing--on "night vision" in particular. You have a notable talent for expressing your personal observations..I really like the way you pour your thoughts out.
elP
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steve mellor
Sat 27th Aug 2016 21:45
Hello Ray
Chuffed you enjoyed Fatty McL, and that you took the time to let me know.
Strange how this tale came about, but isn't everything?
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Ray, thanks as ever for your patience and your positive words. 'Victory Hill' was initially intended to be a more overtly political piece. I was going to touch on social welfare, the NHS and the decline I foresee in both as we travel into an uncertain future. In the end I went for something a bit more over-arching. Those on the lower part of the 'hill' represent an ignorant youth and a new kind of overclass I see developing. Meanwhile, the older, wiser lot at the top are looking back and pondering over how it all went wrong...
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Thanks Ray for your comment - - - if they make a sequence I'm sure Black Knight will return but will it be the same hot pussy getting plenty of action!
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Thanks for commenting on 'blue smoke ghost' Ray - apologies for the late response - not been on WOL for a couple of weeks.
I've never smoked - but lived in a house where both my father and brother did smoke (in the house) it was a blessed relief when dad lit up the pipe - a much more aesthetic smell for a non-smoker - although probably still as passively damaging. I'm glad you liked the poem mate - I appreciate you taking the time to comment
Ian
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even deleting them does no good as they remain on the search engines for a while after. if the journal/competition says 'previously unpublished' then its a struggle if its been up on here. having said that, i just submit anyway and see what they say. some come back with 'no as its previously published' and some dont check. the most popular mode of checking appears to be a simple google search of the first line, which is crude but efficient. a lot of places wont mind if its been up on WOL as long as its not been in any other journal/competition. I deleted a cast swathe of poems on here a few months ago and they still appear on google. however, they do drop off eventually.
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Sorry, Ray, only just seen your note about the Paradox competition. If they say previously unpublished, that does include Write Out Loud. Greg
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Glad you liked my old tape recorder, Ray.
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Ray, my apols for harping on about the football aspects of '1970', rather than applaud its poetic qualities the more! It's a very successful poem.
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Hi Ray Your encouraging words are as ever appreciated. I keep thinking I have written the last one and then out of the blue something else comes up!
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Preeti Sinha
Sun 3rd Jul 2016 12:52
Sorry for your alarm about my Woking Park email, Ray. My fault for not BCCing everyone. Might you be interested in coming along?
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Ray, many thanks for your kind comments on a couple of my recent poems. Will be sending out an email later tonight about that spoken word tent I mentioned at our last gathering, on the day before the next Write Out Loud Woking.
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Ray - you are more than welcome.
Rob
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HI Ray glad you liked my 'cogs'. Davidf
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Aye up Ray - so pleased that you liked and took the time to comment on 'Splendid Is The Flower' I seem to be getting a bit reflective in my old age - glad you 'got it'
Cheers
Ian
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Thanks for the in comments regarding 'Head In Hands' Ray - I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and am pleased that you like this rather sombre effort - cheers
Ian
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Hi Ray Thganks for comment on Rare Earths. It is a bit of a whopper! I've had a bit of a tinker with it since, but nothing too drastic.
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Ray - thanks very much for the comments about 'Memories of Mum and Dad'. An unfortunate subject, but getting it on 'paper' was cathartic. Thanks again.
Rob
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Thanks for your kind comments on my poem, Boys and girls, Ray.
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TS Eliot hahaa :D
Ooo I like your comment that it gives it a Tom and Jerry feel! Fred Quimby era, obviously! ;)
Thanks Ray :)
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Thanks for your kind words on 'Morning Mass' Ray. Very much appreciated. DB.
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Your response to my comment on 'Touchdown' pretty much verifies my immediate response to your poem. I'm glad I stopped to read it. And I do think you made a lot of 'scores' in very few words. (joke - although I didn't intend it to be.)
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Thanks for your note on Mothering Sunday, ray. Hope all's well with you :)
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HI Ray Yes I reckon the bunched up version of 'Martial Music' is better. I've done a few more tweaks recently and I think it's getting there. In fact I think all these metal poems are now getting into some kind of shape and I'm pretty close to having a book of them.
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Wed 2nd Mar 2016 09:30
Returned greetings and thanks Ray
(wrapped in Kleenex tissues .)
Jemima.
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Hi Ray This versian of Martial Music maybe tidier:
ODE TO MARTIAL MUSIC
It’s always grounded in the two four beat
of boot soles tramping across a field,
the plod of units across terrain
a general stakes his name on.
Holding the line, the kettle pounds
its rhythms of mutual fear. Embroidered
with fifes, the snares are brash,
their prattle false as speeches
on recruitment day. Add some chimes
and majorettes, high stepping,
winsome, their hoopla brings to life
old dogs leering.
When, half-blind, Kutuzov squints
and Bonaparte can’t see for smoke
the squares their blues and reds
are on, a bugle squealing on the flank
proclaims which side has won.
A ram’s horn summons
mountain tribes once it’s time
to lay aside their unseemly feuds,
beset by greater storms.
In freedom’s name the hoplites
trudge, singing solemn odes.
The pibroch wails its fierce lament,
a dirge for hopeless causes:
Hittites, Mayans, Jebusites,
their freaklish pipes and drums
buried now in a ditch
with their tongues and palaces.
The self-righteous blare of brass
has toppled walls into dust.
Sweethearts and crooners
will give your boys an edge.
Subvert the enemy. Psych him out.
Symphonic morse transmits
the victor’s cryptic riff.
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Hi Ray Thanks for your comment on Martial Music. I'm not quite sure about the form of that poem and haver experimented with a version in which I've bunched it up into longer lines.
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Hi Ray Glad you liked my truimpet poem. That might be it on the musical instruments for the moment. They are both part of a long sequence inspired by metals, so that's the real connection, and not so much the music. Still, as I'm a big jazz fan I had to drag it in!
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Hi Ray Glad you liked my warrior!
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Hi Ray Thanks for encouraging comments about 'Manganese'.
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Cheers for your recent comment Ray
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Morning Ray!
Yeh, I thought it may be something along those lines of 'sexing up', as you called it. If a poem is 'good' (and we are always in the loop of subjectivity when we judge a piece of art), then it will stand on its own two feet (or four, in this case heh).
Unless there is a 'concrete' (see what I did there?) reason for arranging the text in a certain way, it serves to distract rather than enhance. It makes the reader instantly wonder about the significance of the arrangement, and in the process, focus is taken away from the actual poem.
It would be well worth your time to read up a little about concrete poetry actually, so that you can have a play with it. I'd never heard of it until about 3 or 4 years ago when I reviewed a book of poems about rock-climbing, and the writer had laid out her poems in different cliff and climbing formations. It was a real joy and surprise to read.
Anyway, if you don't know about it, have a gander:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concrete_poetry
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Hi, Ray thank you so much for your kind comment on my poem Vibrating in the unison of the scream of passion.
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Hi Ray
Glad you enjoyed "The Rebel". Eccentricity rules!
(Talking of which, you didn't imagine Jimmy Greaves; I had mentioned him on Graham's profile when I commented on his "Sis" poem)
Stay well
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Thanks for your comments on THE BIRTH, Ray, It is not my usual style as my instinct is to rhyme and so I am happy that an attempt at free verse should resonate.
Re THE RAGBAG SHEEPDOG I have had a couple of sheepdogs and a border collie previously and love the breed. Unfortunately now I have a shared drive and it would be too expensive to gate my property. Your imagery brought back happy memories.
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Thanks for the words on English Epilogue Ray. Much appreciated. David.
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Hi Ray - thanks for the comment on my Leningrad poem.
I did see the programme you mentioned and some of the
views brought back some memories. I still have a guide
to the city somewhere - bought whilst there. What its
citizens had to endure during those terrible siege days
doesn't bear thinking about. But I guess that "stoicism"
is a trait in the Russian personality and it was never more
necessary than then and there, not helped by Stalin's
reported indifference (and worse) towards the city and its
inhabitants.
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Ray, cheers, and thanks. All positions are between slaps on the back and face to face discussion. Tommy
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Astute observation Ray re 'Taxi' Tommy
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ray thanks for comments on 'cat' - a simple poem but glad it resonated!
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Thanks re 'shadowed looks' ray. Tommy:-)
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David Cooke
Mon 17th Oct 2016 13:34
Glad you liked the Dylan poem, Ray. I wrote that back in 2008 and it was my first new poem after a twenty year poetic hiatus. Been pretty busy since though!
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