She said 37 words in fifteen seconds on the start of the drive home. 37 words in fifteen seconds. I don’t know what she said. I was too busy counting. She says I live inside my head. I don’t think she understands the irony. 37 words, she wasn’t even breathless. I don’t know if it was an attempt to fill the silence or if it was her way of closing the distance between us by opening it, or she was si...

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To feel the love you never received;

To feel the affection that was given through grating words that come behind a “Im doing this because i care”,

To feel the sorry’s that were ‘paid’ to me, the gifts I had received to understand how ‘sorry’ you were after harming me, physically or verbally and if not, mentally.

‘I love you’; an affirmation of affection or deep caring, especially to ...

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Ongoing

The pretty lady screams

KILL ME NOW!!!

Putin’s bombs just murdered her baby

What life will the young mum have now?

In a shattered country war death hate killing

The bastard waited decades for this

And acted not caring the cost

Of Russia’s neighbouring nation

Plus thousands of dead Russian soldiers

Let the traumatised lady be an example

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13.03.2020

You're the first thing I ever knew 
The first sounds I ever heard 
The first movement
First heartbeat
First meal
First love 

Your womb was my home and in it I built my existence 
In you I grew and gew
And through you I met myself 

I am to you
As the light is the dark 
The seed is the flower
The rain is the ocean 

Your cells are mine 
And through you I exist 

Yo...

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Here's a little something i'd like to dedicate to my mum <3 

Dear Mum,

Your smile was warmer than the sun.

A glow that now twinkles amongst the stars,

Every time I look up, I forget all the scars.

I remember our long walks,

All those calls with endless talks.

You were my beacon of positivity,

My foundation and stability.

With every passing cloud,

I prom...

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small curls so soft

fall in your eyes

sleepiest gaze

wide by surprise

tiny fingers

stretch out to me

short pudgy legs

kick aimlessly

the world is yours

grin-slobber line

should your heart break 

I’ll give you mine 

© Candice Reineke 2021

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I watched an episode

of some tv show the other day,

an old lady passed away

while people looked on.

It reminded me

of the day you died,

not so old,

you were still so young,

too young to die,

too soon to leave us,

and I remember

being by your side

watching your body

makes its final fragile moves,

your breath was weak,

and the weakness won.

I cried, an...

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Mam - Poem by Marie 

She left when roses ended bloom 
An empty chair a empty room 
Tears from the family fell like rain 
My mam died, I screamed in pain 

You knew we loved you, so why leave 
Mam do you watch us grieve 
Gone like the roses, dead life no more 
In my heart a pain I felt never before 

Why mam, why go I wanted you to stay 
Just like the roses god take you away 
Gone to...

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I miss you
I miss your overwhelming, overriding knowledge
Your greater wisdom,
Your superiority.
I miss you
I miss the way you make me feel dumb and special all at once,
And unworthy and unworldly
And not enough.
Never enough.
I miss you

Not enough years or experience
Not a deep enough depression
Not a bad enough time.
A broken back was nothing compared to your plight
A gun against...

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I'm gonna talk about a woman who I can only describe as my world my universe
my brightest light ..my tonic ..my backbone my nurse
even in black she has more colours than a rainbow
brighter than the moonlight the sunshine she makes the rain go
when I'm told that I'm magic and I'm gifted
it's coz of her though keeps me uplifted
iv been so low
but never solo
she is the light that attracts lig...

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I saw your face today

as I stared in the mirror

It was not before me

but right inside my head

Not me looking at myself

but you holding me in your gaze

The form was clear and true

You were alive to me

Your face filled mine

I became you

for a few moments

felt your mind in mine

the fear of your thoughts

and the power of your emotions

I know not why you

app...

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Granny Hi Tech

 My mum’s been posting selfies… at the age of ninety two!

She’s becoming all tech savvy, whilst I haven’t got a clue.

They say a dog can get too old to teach itself new tricks,

But she’s on Twitter, Instagram, even downloads from Netflix.

It all started back at 80, when the tablets which she took

Turned into a new device, a brand new i-mac book.

She logged on to...

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She is long gone

So long I have to strain to hear her voice

Down the years

The last thing she said to me though 

Clear as day

Like the sun through mists of dawn 

‘Oh Janey’

An unexpected heartfelt sigh

Two words could not contain more depth

For she was lost to me long before

She left this earth

Or so I thought

Until the parting of the clouds

So brief

To gi...

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Not always easy me and mum

But sparks ignite loving hearts

And fire up a love that runs and runs

Firing true for my mum and me

Special relations mums and sons

As I’ve seen so clearly, with my own ones

Maybe too alike, maybe too different

Sparks just happened along the way 

Both too stubborn, both never to give in

But the clashes only stood out, because really so few

P...

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The alarm is set for some ridiculous hour

Just so I have time to shower

Before my little one wakes up bright

Even tho she was up half the night!

Time for hot coffee that I need

Can't live without my caffeine feed

I check my phone to see what's occurred

Out there in the adult world

On Facebook I see what friends are doing 

One up a mountain, one canoeing

I also live ou...

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From the front at least

A beautiful victorian dresser

From behind

The ugly truth

Assembled from wooden orange crates

The company name stamped

Telling of a former

More humble existence

Two little drawers

One at each side

Gunmetal latch handles

Age worn

From opening and closing

Hold family secrets

Make up

Lipstick stumps

Snaps from Blackpool ...

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And I want to be a better man to you mum.. .

But you just don't agree with the things I have done, while I don't agree with having

to be socially accepted I need to conform, but you don't understand. 

I live for myself in a flurried world.

Where being myself is such a crime and I can't imagine myself alive, at the thought of  cheating my own mind... 

It breaks me apart!

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She’s the one we could rely on

when things were sorely scarce,

to always find a way to get by

when it went from bad to worse.

She’s the one true matriarch,

the gel at the center of all,

never too far away from us;

never more than a call.

Sacrificing all she had,

for us, her flesh and blood,

always standing second place

to the family’s common good.

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Where we formed
now there rips a ribbon of pain
strange and unearthly
beyond predictability
buried in your belly
that hurt you carry

And humanness was your gift to me
how I gladly repay 
in any way I can

If it’s a hand you need to hold
if it’s someone to hear you cry
I will be there for you
in any way I can

These solutions
so invasive
taking you apart
they take away a part of...

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An Unexpected Ghost In The Yorkshire Post

She stares out at me from the page of white -
all pixels, paper, print and phantom eyes,
a child of contrasts under exposed skies
dancing somewhere between the dark and light.
I recognise the features well, despite
the brutal glare of histories disguise.
This archive feature caught me by surprise
for we are separated by times flight.
You are a g...

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She’s a fading flower

Not nearly as bright as she used to be

Though now she shines in a different way

Though she always shines to me

She’s filled with determination,

And don’t try to tell her what to do:

She’s stubborn,

And she’ll do what she needs to do

The day I can’t do my shopping

Is the day I’m finished, she says.

And she eyes me with disdain

Because...

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(This was an attempt at a villanelle but I'm not sure if its quite the right structure . .oh well)

I only wanted to help

And when I offered to get you some shopping

It wasn’t me saying you’re not up to it any more

I only wanted to help

Thanks for the cup of tea

But when I offered to make it

I wasn’t saying your tea was bad: far from it

I just didn’t w...

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On this opal morning

I miss my mum.

If she was in the kitchen

making coffee,

everything would be alright.

We’d have plain chocolate digestives.

Dip the smiling edges till

the chocolate melted

warm as love.

In an Ealing garden apples trees

would be clad in pink and white

clothes hang on a sagging line

propped by a cloven branch.

A...

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Bought,

imagining her face

her smile

a butter dish

from Derbyshire

the cow on the lid

painted cheerfully

is sat on a creamy base

licks of grass growing up its sides

Wrapped

in gossamer tissue

taped at the edges

so as not to give away

its contents

beautiful

held

tightly

carefully

all the way home

sandwi...

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