mental health (Remove filter)
Nirvana
I struggle without hands
Have no mouth, to speak of
And my eyes avert.
I itch and blotch,
And the radiance of the sky
Illuminates my sheer loneliness.
Darkness can't come soon enough
'Though I fear my blanket will
one day
become the soil of my grave.
Wednesday 4th November 2020 12:49 pm
Matriarch
What is this dark energy
cloaking the universe
threatening to consume me,
wrap me in a weighted blanket
of silent abyss.
Some days I’m tempted
to dive into the black hole,
see what all the fuss is about,
but I know if I do, I will take
a generation or two of
fragile minds with me.
Weakness is not my legacy.
I have to stay strong,
be my family’s guiding li...
Tuesday 27th October 2020 4:39 am
W.H.O.
Do you need someone?
On this World Mental Health Day
Does someone need you?
Friday 9th October 2020 8:54 pm
ptsd
Irony is a malicious art-form. It’s shocking and sneaky and dripping with deceit.
Is it a karmic curse? Do I deserve to be toyed with like a worn out voodoo doll?
Did I ask for this? All the years of not caring at all.
Putting myself in harms way begging to be struck.
Dancing around the fire drunk with a lust for self-sabotage.
And escaping fate every single time.
It seems like a bad-jok...
Wednesday 7th October 2020 7:33 pm
Your Scar
(for the little girl who haunts my dreams still)
Dear Daddy,
Not that you'd care, but
All that I wanted was to make you proud
But, I was too stupid
Too fat
Too loud
All you ever did was bring me down
I was your scar
Your permanent frown
I was your verbal punchbag
In your whiskey fuelled state
Never felt I was your child
Just a vessel for...
Sunday 27th September 2020 9:53 pm
Sudden Attack
The heart stops,
stomach drops,
and fear attacks
tearing and scraping the insides.
Stepping back, it’s not the right time.
It’s too delicate; my hands are tied.
I stall. I ruminate. I do all the things not to destroy this.
I dread that I will, gravely… to the point of not moving.
This is what it’s like when people become a ghost.
It’s too much to go forward.
So, I turn
in the opposite...
Saturday 26th September 2020 5:26 am
MY SAVIOUR, MY SAVANT (An ode to my paid weekly "friend")
I lost all control
Crossed the threshold
My tears too excruciating to hold
I prayed earnestly to be released from the pyre
I saw you and I continued to burn
Only now, I burned also with desire
Curiosity peaked
Fervent interest realized
The voodoo you do, mesmerized
Divinity revealed?
Oh, what power you weild!
Desperately I yearn to yeild
Yo...
Tuesday 8th September 2020 5:46 am
"fine"
How are you?
A question worth a thousand answers
A thousand possibilities summed into one
Fine
Somewhere in between the good and the bad
Between the lines
Of the lies
Fine -
Just fine.
By Faith Olajuyigbe, author of Words of Faith
For poetry and more visit: https://www.wordsoffaith.co.uk
Monday 7th September 2020 2:55 pm
Karma the Uninspired Bitch
Everyone's asleep
Silently I weep
Misery boiling
Anger steep
What one sows
Isn't that what they're supposed to reap?
Why do I remain good
Continue to be kind
Try ever so hard to preserve my mind
Karma seems to lack purpose
Or simply ignores the concept of time.
Doesn't my pain matter
My life unrecognizable and tattered
Am I that good at pretendi...
Saturday 5th September 2020 6:21 pm
A Client's Woe
When shadows go into hiding
And dreams run wild
I imagine you all stripped down and bare
All facades shed
Thoughts of me invade your head...
Or so I wish, a girl can dream
I miss you, I want you
If only I could scream
These words out loud
Remove the shroud
Say them loud
Say them proud...
But I mustn't disturb the peace
What is unknown must remain ...
Thursday 3rd September 2020 10:20 am
Sweet Talk
Smooth like honey,
Your words
Slip through my soul -
Sweetening the bitter
Soothing the sore.
Your Word
Like honey, nurturing
My bones.
I have a craving in my soul,
A sweet tooth for Your own.
"Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
By Faith Olajuyigbe, author of Words of Faith
...Thursday 20th August 2020 4:03 pm
Where does it hurt?
It’s a walking numbness, a dull pain
that sometimes presents itself in waves.
It slowly builds, and one day, every few weeks it explodes.
I can’t bring myself out of bed.
The rolling tears subside for a moment only to build again and again.
The world outside, and the family inside, doesn’t exist, only what’s happening right here.
Only this pillow, only this blanket, only the thoughts ...
Friday 14th August 2020 1:49 pm
⚡ Thunderstorms ⚡
Thunderstorms
Running through my head
Rumbles getting louder
Scared things might be said
Hide away in a closet
Because the sound is so loud
Hide from the truth
Because the truths not allowed
Thunderbolts they are striking
Flashbacks of a lad
A childhood in silence
Adolescence was sad
But storms they get stronger
They gain strength with time
The rain is now pouring
I’ve a hurricane m...
Wednesday 12th August 2020 9:04 pm
SAPI plates
Sage bush smoking sour
Eyes cascading showers
Measuring sober hours
Chewing my cigarettes now
Good coffee, good chow
Pretentious fuck saying thou
Pissing off the bow, drunk
Crawl back in my rack
Afloat but still sunk
Cold icey dunk
Casket of grinding gears stuck
Struck, sliding into silence
Saturday 8th August 2020 6:46 pm
Words Fueled by Depression
I am sad.
I am worthless.
I am unlovable.
Nobody loves me.
I do not deserve to be loved.
I don't matter.
I have no matter.
The world would be a better place without me.
Nobody cares whether I'm dead or alive.
I wish I were dead.
-depression
Tuesday 4th August 2020 12:59 pm
Struggling in veins
Two hearts are beating in my chest
one is right on time
the other's left behind
one is young, open and blind
the other‘s tired, beaten and confined
they are twins of different age
both hunter souls, locked in a cage
one is thirsty for blood
the other has had enough
though they are two
neither can rest
the constant battle puts both to the test
but wil...
Saturday 25th July 2020 9:56 am
Man On A Train
there’s a man
on a train
with his head
in his hands
I’m three seats behind
a man
on the train
with my head
in my hands
Thursday 18th June 2020 8:35 am
Long Have I Stood
long have I stood
long stood have I gazed
long gazed have I thought
long thought have I suffered
long suffered have I
long have I stood
Saturday 13th June 2020 1:48 pm
Scars and Bruises
You always see
when people trip and fall
face first onto a knee,
The shear panic of a red warm pool.
People crowd and care,
Rushing to rescue.
Drip, drip, drip,
The skin now stained
seeping from veins,
Pumping like a bad memory,
Fixated on the blood
people forget the scars,
Not the one oozing with puss
but the one deep-rooted,
Crying out for atte...
Wednesday 13th May 2020 10:17 pm
Morscode (And Blue Tunes)
typed see screens
print the rain
a hit and miss,
brush dashes
from the frame
dripping blue tunes
and
singing your stirs,
your memo implicit,
a reserved river,
dot, dot, dot,
dash, dash, dash,
neurotic encrypting
for a euphoric tone-
a seaway
sealing all,
do not shift back
up the drum glass
and hum hard these
run- down blue tunes,
remain r...
Friday 1st May 2020 7:08 pm
Untouched but not Unfelt
Untouched but not Unfelt
Spent years like a husk
now life is kindling again,
purifying from pain
and pleasantly plentiful
at present.
The cage of the State
is nothing,
for I traversed the labyrinth of my own mind
and survived.
So I shall recognise shackles
as a concept,
but be mindful of surrendering control.
Isolate from crowds but not from feelings,
not from unde...
Sunday 22nd March 2020 9:08 pm
Reason to Stay
When sun comes against all odds
And the colours of life just pop
Or when the rain falls
It falls and falls
And you wet your lips
With piping hot tea
With warm biscuit
Savour the crumbs
Cosy and safe
In the arms of a jumper
The padding of the sofa,
Like a huge hug
Or when your face aches,
Your stomach vibrates
Because you are fighting to breathe
Through ...
Tuesday 18th February 2020 5:52 am
Take a minute
One Minute
Just take one minute
to listen
to remember
to understand
to reset,
to step back
to refocus
to rewind
to regret.
Just take one minute
to rest
to rebalance
to breathe
to cry,
to think
to question
to reflect
to wonder why.
Just take one minute,
then, if you can,
take one minute more;
to work out what you need,
to decide just what this minute’s for.
If you...
Friday 17th January 2020 5:06 am
Afraid Of the Dark
How many times must I rinse off the moon
And unpeel the stars from my skin?
Have someone ask what were you drinking?
How many times must I try clinging to lamp lights?
Try configuring keys into shining beacons?
I cannot see in the dark
Yes, blackouts steal my sight
But when finished,
I wake up feeling feverish
And fear ferments and festers
The night can be sticky
H...
Monday 13th January 2020 2:41 pm
Depression is a question of stamina
Depression is a question
of stamina. We know how to win.
Build walls and fill them with light
even as darkness batters the barricades,
threatening a wholesale invasion. So we turn on more lights,
call more friends, play, dance, and work, work, work.
This isn’t mania,
unless swimming to shore
in a river of white-water rapids is also mania.
We’re strong,
and we can make it.
We just...
Monday 6th January 2020 10:00 am
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