there are so many things i could

say to you.

but the words that i come up with most 

are, 

"i'm sorry."

it wasn't my fault, but i

take the blame.

was there more i could do?

more i could say?

none of it would have made a difference.

we would still be here, apart,

forever.

you're with me now, in a different way.

that's what i hear, what they tell me.

th...

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I twist my brain in different directions, an attempt to make sense of the tragedy that befell upon you, upon us. A rope, already twisted and tangled, a feat to straighten it out that you also took onto your shoulders, when they were already bearing the weight of your own world. In a moment, you were gone. Spirited away into another dimension, occupying the space that Mother universe has provided y...

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she'll still be here in ten years

our relationship but a crime

I will ony survive this trial if

I take it on one day at a time

philosophies come in guises

some aim at personal charm

other strive for success, or

the avoidance of self-harm

mine is to keep my head up

dont get agitated at her tics

ignore the tone of her voice

the jabs and yells and tricks

...

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chalk dust on her hands

game chants in her ears

thirty heads a-bobbing

eagerly innocent dears

think she's like them, no

thoughts but right now,

her minds miles away:

why am I a silly cow?

daily strives to impress

ambitious hectic whirr

one bloke after another

none were right for her

as usual on auto-pilot

teaching maths by rote

kids get on h...

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Fear is such a desperate thing
It tells you many lies
It tells you that you are not strong enough
It says you shall not win, cannot survive.

Fear claims you will not cope
Feeds you despair
It tells you words that you should never trust
It says that you will break beyond repair.

But if you've ever been afraid and heard
It whispering or shrieking in your ear
Then learn from your own pa...

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You know that song by John Lennon whatver gets you thru the night well this small story tells of a good little creature  that helps me get through these  almost apocalyptic days and nights.

&

I'll never forget the day I got mi cat, they let her out the little carry box and she walked on my coffee table, then she wondered off so casual like an estate agent checking out my flat. Into every roo...

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How many times must I rinse off the moon

And unpeel the stars from my skin?

Have someone ask what were you drinking?

How many times must I try clinging to lamp lights?

Try configuring keys into shining beacons?

I cannot see in the dark

Yes, blackouts steal my sight

But when finished,

I wake up feeling feverish

And fear ferments and festers

The night can be sticky

H...

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My bed is still warm

When the next body rolls in

But I'm not

I'm numb

Until,

Your body

- Or his -

- Or hers -

Envelopes mine

And I can breathe

Because

I am consumed

I am part of you,

Of someone that lives

That moves

That loves

I am

I was

I will be

Because I'm not apart

Just a part

Of something

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It's odd for me
To be down on my knees
Praying to a God
That I don't believe in

I asked him why
There's so much pain in my life
And the one bit of joy
Was cut off like a knife

I was angry and mad
Didn't expect a response
I was crying and yelling
In my little tiny house

I heard in my heart
The reason to be
That there wasn't a soul good enough
To fill the love that I need

He ...

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Inside her closet are the remains of a broken umbrella with the materials in cinders.

Her skin cloak is draped over a spindley coat stand,

most people name it a spine,

most people's are strong,

straight.

They carry the puppet as if a master holding strings...

But sometimes autum's trees fall down

without reason

because nature is flawed.

Sometimes a stem ca...

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(I've been struggling to show anyone this poem for a long time but I've been inspired to let it free. These feelings are behind me now and it turns out writing was to thank for that afterall)

How does someone stop cutting?
Do they cut into the paper instead?
Replace flesh and blood with diaries and ink,
Replace physicality with mentality,
Replace actions with words,

It isn’t enough.

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