Hi all,

I thought I'd add a quick note, with this being my first blog entry.

I specalise in poems of extreme gormlessness, and wrote my first one after getting into John Cooper Clarke back in 1991. A few years later, in 1993, I saw JCC live in my hometown of exotic Bolton, supported by the legendary Hovis Presley. I enjoyed his set as much as JCC's, and bought a copy of his book, Poetic Off-...

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She sat amongst her dollies

Hair all chopped and matted

their legs broken battered,

Biro on each painted face.

The fingers bitten off,

Spat out and thrown away.

Their toes all flat and mangled,

Their eyes poked closed and gone.

Each one no more a beauty,

Each one now dead and gone.

She did it as a child 

To each and every toy.

Her mummy used to smack her,

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