Willpower and discipline,
have long been two of the 
most despised words in the 
english language to me.

What character flaw prevents  
the willpower and discipline
necessary to be the person
I imagine myself capable of being?

A half-lived life is heartbreaking.
There is no acceptable excuse, 
not age or disability.

Even people with no limbs 
live empowered lives 
built on willp...

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Causing unnecessary chaos

The place which was once my peace stadium

Now a pub of high teenagers and thugs

Smell of pot and weed all over the place

Coughs of exasperation and smoke

A gong sitting with their alpha and weapons

Little black dress, I walk into the room

A cigarette in my hand,unlit keep in mind

Waiting for the time to be right

I shall puff them right outta my ...

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i am consumed by my own thoughts.

stuck with no way out of my own mind. i wish i could escape it.

how does someone get to this point? 

i look for help in the wrong places.

the few people i seek

don't hear me. 

there are people in this world who need to hear that they are doing a good job.

its like being eaten alive slowly.

because rarely does the person you want...

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You took my skeleton out of my body and molded my spine to stand straight.

With your skilled hands you took me apart and put me back together, like you had done so many times. 

In one piece, after so many years - you taught me what it was like to stand alon

You sculpted my wings in perfect likeness of yours. 

With each feather, you gave me hope and confidence. 

I was an angel -...

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I want to do it

But I don’t do it.

I hope to do it,

I know I won’t do it.

My life of procrastination,

Is believed to be an abomination,

By those involved in my creation.

I will never get spiritual emancipation.

This life of procrastination,

Although kills the time I have,

Has enabled my imagination,

To come out of dingy cave.

I think to do it,

...

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Feeling low, 
absent is my flow,
guilt eats at my bones 
and all my wrongs 
follow me home.

I've got no will 
to do the things
I need to do.

The sun burns me blue,
I can't hear the trees,
the moon always leaves
and my heart does 
drown out in the sea.

©JMCole 

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