Groucho's Right
I've built a castle in my mind
A sturdy fort of solitude
With turrets I could hide behind
But find, alas, there is no food
Sometimes I'll drop the drawbridge down
Cross the moat and with my mates
Seek out imagined palace grounds
But picnics there have empty plates
I could hop online on a virtual tour
Of museums, buildings, pubs and streets
Of mountains, waterfalls and more
But there...
Wednesday 15th July 2020 11:15 pm
Adrift
Free will is a thing of beauty
I could say that out loud, but I don’t
I am not sure whether I choose to
Or whether I will, or I won’t
There are options there if I want them
Some dangling worms I could bite
Some carrots and sticks, some tricks to unpick
Some say that I can’t, but I might
I’m static but find myself drifting
I’m clueless with plenty of clues
In stillness, I’m steadily...
Friday 12th June 2020 2:54 pm
Original Sin
Adam and Eve had a trick up their sleeve
Being there when the world was begun
It’s a little pet peeve, which brings on a slight seethe -
They were there at the start, so they won
Some theologists say that if they had their way
They’d get rid of original sin
But our Man of God is a little bit odd
He goes into the box with a grin
He created devotion by stirring the notion
That he’s hea...
Tuesday 5th May 2020 7:16 am
Conspiracy Theory
The apples are out to get us
They poison the air that we breathe
They might look sweet and innocent
But secretly they seethe
The apples are keen to murder
They’ll sting you through their skin
Your hands and face will then blister
And the pain will then really begin
The apples are out to kill us
Each one is rotten to the core
They give off evil vapours
Ga...
Wednesday 22nd April 2020 1:14 pm
The Bottom Line
As the Roman Empire dwindled
And left us on our own
Were our ancestors befuddled
As they waved them off to Rome?
Could the darkness that resulted
Have been a happier kind of caper
If those left behind had been more kind
And not hoarded toilet paper?
When William the Conqueror
Brought his army to our shore
Poor Harold tried before he died
And who could ask a bloke for more?
Did his s...
Monday 23rd March 2020 9:30 pm
A Winter Sock's Lament
It's rather dark and bleak in here
and I think I've worked out why;
We've nothing left to talk about -
the conversation has run dry
We can be quite a jolly bunch
full of rhymes and rhetoric
But time ticks slow and now we know
in the end... we're just too thick
So we're feeling quite neglected
'cos in this summer weather
we're forced to lie inside this drawer
and be no use whats...
Monday 27th August 2018 8:28 pm
Cake Or Pie?
Once, someone posed a question
And it made me want to cry
"If you had to choose," she said
"Which one - cake or pie?"
I didn't want to answer
I mean, why would she even pry?
It's the deepest question out there
Philosopher's testify
It really made my head hurt
I took a pill, I won't deny
That question bounced on through my brain
"Which one - cake or pie?"
...Sunday 19th August 2018 7:08 pm
The Scarecrow
You know, I was made for this job
I’ve got pretty good at it too
Scaring crows is a vocation
But nowadays it makes me blue
I used to like the simple life
Found it fulfilling to stand tough
But nature takes its toll, alas,
I’ve lost the means to strut my stuff
Long ago, when I first started
I was keen to make some friends
But it seems my arms-out posture
W...
Monday 13th August 2018 4:07 pm
Red Ink
Scores a line and gives a grade
In the bossiest of moments
Tells of corrections to be made
As it sits there standing bold
Or a single word might hang there dripping
While your blood runs stinging cold
Like the warming of a fire
Consuming mind and paper
While the temperature gets higher
Saturday 6th August 2016 12:22 pm
The Tongue
If smitten, she'll lick lips with haste
She'll savour the flavour and beckon for more
She's a muscle who lives for the taste
Though nerves can make her too dry
If she's tied by your words, you'll look like a fool
If she's forked, you're likely to lie
And i...
Monday 25th July 2016 12:46 am
The Heart
This is one beast of a machine
the core of our feelings
or weak enough to be broken
Big. Kind. Heavy. Light
Yearns, faints and aches
and be a place to search for answers
It can ...
Saturday 4th June 2016 11:08 am
Keeper of The Heads
The death of a traitor
is always sweet
echo through the city
when the mighty fall
or the wretched scum meet their end
Parboiled
Dipped in tar
Beautifully macabre
Proudly plying my trade
For there's a colour to my craft
and a heritage I'm proud to continue
Sunday 10th April 2016 8:33 am
The Pen
- In general, I guess that's true
But mine's a lazy blighter;
It treats sloth as a damned virtue
It's always at a halt
It likes staring at blank paper
As though that's the thing at fault
It lives a charmed sedentary life
Full speed is torpidly inert
It charges around at the pace of a slug
When flat out and a...
Sunday 3rd April 2016 11:03 pm
First Walk with Hearing Aids
Clack
Click, clack, click
Clack
Click, clack, click
Got a rhythm going
Hearing aids in
And yes, I'm "strollin'"
Clack
Click, clack, click
Rain drops falling
Thunk
Click, clack, c...
Sunday 17th January 2016 6:08 pm
Fire Monkey
Playing his pranks
Winding up the wife
Using his brain
Owning it. Bossing it
Playing the game
- a little bit spunky
A little bit of attitude
A little bit of grit
With daring and drive
Top of the tree
And feeling alive
Fire and wi...
Monday 4th January 2016 10:58 pm
Kite Flying
And the spirit of youth
Share it - let go of your cares
Fly your kite with a passion
and ignore the dull fashion
to stay indoors – Get some fresh air
Make freedom your aim
Gape in awe as it sails in the breeze
Allow a smile to your face
And give daydreams some space
Just watch out for lightning and trees
Monday 16th November 2015 7:56 am
French Invasion
Since the bloody Battle of Hastings
When 'Arold got killed by French Bill
We've seen an endless invasion of French
And I've just about had my fill
Don't we have enough words of our own
In this wonderful language of ours?
- To seek and find le mot juste
Dunt take much linguistic power
It seems using French has been with us forever
Passed down as a fait accompli
Have we ever really tr...
Friday 18th July 2014 11:02 pm
5 Miles To Home
5 Miles to Home (written for the Milestone Society)
When I'm out walking and hiking free
A milestone is often a friend to me
They're solid reminders of where you are
And t’ next point of interest, they tell you how far
But I’ve noticed something when around I do roam -
That I've never seen one that says "5 miles to Home"
I've seen "5 miles to Bradford" and "Leeds - 5 mile"
...
Sunday 21st July 2013 11:35 pm
Very Berry (or Some Ribes in Rhyme)
There's Blackberry, Blueberry,
Northern, Bog and simple Bilberry
Lowbush, Highbush and Mountain Cranberry,
Chokeberry, Dewberry, Elderberry, Guavaberry
Bearberry, Cowberry, Crowberry, Foxberry, Gooseberry and Mooseberry
Huckleberry, Jostaberry, Lingonberry, Loganberry, Myrtle Blueberry, Pineberry, Black Raspberry,
Red Whortleberry, Squashberry, Tayberry, Whinberry and Wimber...
Friday 28th June 2013 10:11 pm
The Word Gremlin
You're in the middle of the piece
You're really on a roll
You've mastered every syllable
And built it to a whole
Every intonation,
Every stress is well rehearsed
You know it inside out and back-to-front
Each chorus and each verse
You even know it side-ways
You've swum through every part
Can add to it your character
Your voice, your mind, your heart
Any lazy alli...
Sunday 19th May 2013 7:20 pm
I Wish I'd Had Candy Floss
Written in memory of those sunny summer and indecisive days of childhood at Batley and Dewsbury Parks.
At the side of the van with a window
In the park
Sunday 19th May 2013 7:08 pm
Would You Not Prefer a Chair Mrs Atwood?
Wednesday 5th December 2012 12:26 pm
A Hug From My Brother
Wednesday 5th December 2012 12:23 pm
O-U-S
Most of us find life difficult to avoid, in a way that I find quite curious Choosing the right path to follow at speed, makes some us quite furious The answers aren't easy, but O-U-S might just be a key It ain't the answer to life and everything - say “that's 42!” - I might agree ...
Wednesday 28th March 2012 7:03 pm
Two Suns
We're orbiting our star, the sun, at quite a decent speed We've been doing that for billions of years, scientists are agreed But apparently, many stars we know, have got a twin - they're binary So if our Earth had two suns, not one - how great would that be?! Imagine how m...
Saturday 24th March 2012 8:23 am
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