Deep.  Deep in thelemic thought, her

words spill sour, salted by a power

that cowers and spits, shoaling rocks

into desolate fetch, coveting a polyandry.

Exiled.  Exiled she lies, and lies. Coursed

and cobbled. Smooth blissful pebbles

that awake wrecked memories, and hopes

of calm oceans being neither here or there.   

Caught. Caught in a squall ‘twix...

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Unsure, Unopposed

lying in my arms

fleeting captivity

of bittersweet blossom

transient beauty as it falls

melting into the ground

and you’re gone

© Katypoetess 2013

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I

Maybe - it was just sex and poetry passing through your modus operandi.

I am no Rossetti, Dickenson or Plath. My heart hung in front of my heroines.

Emotions could rival, but words brew clumsy and fall cumbersome at their feet.

Ink spurts and spills from between my legs, puddling and muddying an

indiscression from the master’s muse. Brooding time in surburban solicit...

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If I had that chance, I would keep giving you The best. 

Love making - hot tea served so dutifully, as I gently

steam each dream to wake you. Morning Molton Brown bath

with warm Christy towel to wrap around fervid hips after

I wash and caress every complex that doesn’t need cleansing.

When meeting your neuroses, I would heed the grumbles

chuntering a nonsense, that...

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Your father is still your father. Love him and forgive him as a young child.
The way you were in expectant, resolute delight of his arms around you.
Your father is still your father in his audacious crime of falling in love.
I, his Pygmalion’s statue, his muse, his mistress, his little goth whore,
you see me as nothing better than shit on your kitchen floor
before gathering round the ...

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Moon beckons a beacon for the night demon’s path. Comfort strewn by creaks
of cooling corners in the bedroom.  Dutiful goodnight kisses obligate a renewed
commitment to freshly etched, stone set commandments of the marriage rite.

Left alone, he clicks familiar websites, browsing history carefully kept out of sight.
Easing tension transiently until eyes hit on a caress of a photo...

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The boy’s blue eyes shone

Tried so hard to be good

Tall frame was troubled

So easily misunderstood

But something happened

A long time ago

That split his heart

And darkened his soul

He had to feel needed

Wanted and secure

To cover the emptiness

And risk of wanting more

He worked and toiled

To fill the vacuum inside

He crea...

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Curtains drawn
One sunny morn
A white shadow
On patio door

Since that night
No cry heard
Death knoll subdued
Prey is disturbed

Prophecy or protection
Wisdom or inflection
Your powder down
I cannot clean

A haunting call through the valleys of resentment

Forgive – forgive - forgive

© Katypoetess 2013

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Picked you up

Turned you around

Stroked your feet

Knocked your crown

I looked inside

Took last light

Struck it hard

Flared the night

Burnt the skin

Flame lives within

Bound by Stockholm

Protected from wind

Loyal knights

Play a tune

Of ruined castles

In shallow dune

Didn’t burn away

Like it should

Fue...

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Flatlined. Red admiral turned cabbage white.

Our bed, once pale open casket creaks a chrysalis,

a steadfast metamorphosis of our gothic love story.

Set apart by vengeful spouses, hindwings skinned.

Living in separate houses, just over ten miles apart.

Beyond the ending in damask suburban banality

the vampire’s parable of a lover’s return fleets transient

scorni...

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I imagine you mowing the lawn to atone, painting walls

covering every sin you have committed. An extra coat

over loose ends. Hammered nails in coffins of every fuck up.

New cars, holidays, gifts, attention worthy of a young peacock

lavish while the leash of trust and compensatory promises

Threatens shorter with any sign of un-toeing the line.

The gin palace closed ...

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Your east side

Torpid

Behind the times

Poverty stricken

Oppressed and undone

My west side

Free

Moving the future

Abundant laden

Oppressed and undone

In our dreams

I run

In our memories

You run

Towards the wall

I thought I heard

You thought you heard

The other call

Checkpoint of illusion

Guns down

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Everyone at work used to say

You were good at talking the talk

I did not realise this

As I was too distracted

Listening to you talking

Rather than watching you

walking

And as I walked faster

Alongside you talking

I forgot where I was going

And I fell down a hole

You did not see me or follow

But I could still hear you

talking

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There’s a curious superfluity

of characters

in this play

forgetting the lines

missing the cues

wrong costume changes

a story confused.

Played out in performance

the audience hisses

the writer cringes

the curtains drop

on all of them

inside you.

© Katypoetess 2013

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Not one, but two shadows cast onto the ground

The oaks stand vowed apart in pride

Beautifully synchronised

Too stubborn to reach out to touch

As the seasons pass, they spy and hide

With no eyes to watch each other

Fluttering leaves whisper between their worlds

time momentarily stops

Don’t forget….

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Your Katy, your Kitty courtesan. Running a disorderly house in this

goldfish bowl of hype. City hotel room, mountain topped veneered luxury.

Hearts beat dawn rhythm ridden hard and sodden in salted white sheets

while I whispered your name and the age you would die, in the dark.  

We refract against light that spears our skin through the curtains.

Silk and c...

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He’s crazy

She’s crazy

It would never have worked

How could you?

He’s possessive

She’s obsessive

You would never have been happy

How could you?

Look how he treated you

Look how she behaved

You were never right for each other

How could you?

              Tighter, tie me tighter and take me
              you naughty girl, cum on me - now

...

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Tugging the stockings out the drawer

Clasp up clips, leave suit on the floor

Zip up my boots, apply more mascara

Anticipate nervously the oncoming drama

Start the engine on cold autumn night

You wanted me there, and I cannot fight

Tired, unsure, aware of the time

Knowing your impatience, I blur the white line

Bright lights feed confidence, feeling unf...

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The torch has turned, flame extinguished.

Roses and lilies, once love’s bouquet,

now wilted wreath. I wear the silver locket

tarnished to jet in anger. I rage, snip and shave

the hair you nestled in, that you forbade me to trim

Against all fashionable whim.  I relish the pain

knowing fresh ink on skin will repel you.

Cuckolded by your wife, I curl c...

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You made a commitment to me

and I believed in you.

Then you went back to your wife

like married men do.

You told her about us

unexpected, out of the blue.

Suits packed by your front door

and I waited like a fool.

All those words you said and wrote,

they were not followed through.

Now left without meaning,

how could you be so cruel?

...

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The waves carry you and I to meet

each creeps a little closer to my feet

                              I am waiting inside the rain for you.*
 

I retreat, stung by approaching tide

I turn my back and try to hide

                            The blistered, bitter rain that engulfs me.*
 

Hopelessly pulled back, my mind

succumbs to salty kisses entwined

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It’s has always been easier to slay us

With your obedient insecurities

Cheerfully devoted to poetic doom

You speculate, create and anticipate

A wheel of fortune that spins in your tomb

Lashing and flaying against happiness

You claw and spit against the lid

Of exhausted insight and recognition

Crying out against comprehension

With a scream of lies and unravell...

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Clearing drawers

On that side of the bed

And putting things back again

The bathroom isn’t done

Fuck.

The garage isn’t cleared

I hope his car fits in

Big lack of wardrobe space

Fuck.

He has got so many clothes

Where would they go?

It’s his wedding anniversary next month

So what kind of new madness is this?

Ho...

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Your mood swoops up and down. A zigzagged bat to my twilight 

you forage on blood and nectar, then fly home again to roost.

Slowly stealing our sleep and holding our dreams apart, a deity

of doubt covets the forthcoming clamour of kitchen sink drama. 

My credence that I love you with a passion she cannot match,

with a depth she cannot reach, with a strength she cannot ...

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“I love this bed” you sigh. Half clambering, half enticing.

Socks fly chaotically towards carefully folded suit trousers

on the stair banister outside our door. Seductively deluded

domestic comfort. We mock the coupling joggers sweating and panting.

Beating the towpath in desperate lust for a BMI of whatever. We know

a much better way to keep the pounds off by keeping poundi...

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Where are we now

Back to square one

Thrown to the beginning

Or have we moved on?

As the season changes

The cycle does reap

An autumnal harvest

That tastes just as sweet

There’s no place like home

Unearthed and unearthly

insecurity and fear still roam

Driven, dark and dirty

Trying to live the dream

Fucking, fighting and broken

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“Remember these times.” Urging me earnestly

whilst you nuzzle my hair down there.  I dizzy and delight

at your glasses still on. A wicked glint behind

magnified - tantalizes. I draw breathe, thighs tense.

I protest “No, no, you can’t do that it’s the wrong time of….”

You can. You will. You do. Body squirming, eyes wide,

I clutch the duvet, horrified. Yo...

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Looking up while you were fucking me, I tried to grab a falling leaf.

But I missed; I couldn’t quite reach the wish that fluttered in the breeze.

Branches gather, cross and weave our worn anxious self-discoveries

swaying unable to still uncertainty. We circumscribe this Eden as reality.

When I promised forever did you feel time stop?

A treetop to trick and ...

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Early impatience to your inevitable lateness

Love's fresh aroma makes my heart beat

Awaiting half Irish steampunk entrance

Mixed black and bitter - dusted vanilla sweet

Crowd well scanned for anyone we know

Cappuccino obediently essenced to your liking

Before sitting with me in comfort, and on show

We box witty as hares – tease, half chastising

...

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I arrive. Quickly turning bedroom from Rome into Alexandria.

Skin up, pop a cork to dilute our blood with Bollinger.

Determined to mix up a confidence to conquer,

goddess summoning up a strip tease of your morality.

“The triple pillar of the world transformed into a strumpet's fool.”*

Coiling concubine - arabesque around your thighs to

nourish exo...

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For two days and two nights we architect a megalomania

in defiance.  Disguised in stray abandon amongst oblivious streets.

Scavenging on Oxford Street you buy skinny black jeans and converse.

Just like mine. We shamelessly crawl sex shops for new toys

and sully Soho square’s benches with marijuana smoke. 

You recite poetry loudly, off the cuff of your duffle coat,

none o...

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She has no beauty in face or form

Weighting the lightest heart

She deafens our spirits with silence

Filling the emptiness when we’re apart

She breaks the distant grey waves

Swelling pregnant with our loss

She destroys well intended footsteps

Muddying our paths that cross

She banishes happiness out of sight

Turning the natural to feel so wrong

...

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No regrets

I swear to you

not one.

Except

a question in a text

a reply that fired a gun

fate’s bullet aimed straight

shattered my heart

another’s life saved.

If I had said yes

instead of no

would I still be alone now -

who knows?

Martyrdom – with a reward to come?

Or stupidity – my life coming undone?

...

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You protest, “I’ll be dead in ten years.”

It may be truth, then I refuse to lose

you now to martyrdom, duty and obligation.

In our part-time love, lived in haste

Let me show you how we can recreate

A cherished, domestic simplicity.

A life to lead, not to be led and wasted

Blood ties will refresh and renew

an understanding that’s based in truth.

Jo...

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