George Osborne’s autumn statement –

oh, what a very bad joke.

He pretends he’s fixed economy

but just look at what he broke.

He says he halved the deficit

but aims have not been met,

the deficit’s on the rise again

to say nothing of the debt!

Many folk think he’s halved the debt

but this just isn’t true,

he’s well on his way to doubling it!

and doesn’t have th...

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We hired a Bedford Dormerbile camper van

from a friend back in nineteen-sixty-nine.

Circumstances caused us to arrive in Southwold

on a September evening, out of time.

We drove all around but no campsite could be found,

aged twenty, we’d been married just a year.

We parked up in what looked like a disused field;

well, nothing in the dark looks very clear.

Waking i...

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O, field so green and sky so blue!

Sounds of birdsong as I walk,

tall grass heads in shades of pink,

trees of hawthorn, lime and oak.

Comforting warmth on shoulders bare

from June’s late afternoon sunshine,

yonder meadows like patchwork quilt

o’er secluded railway line.

Nothing now to destroy my calm

not that horn from passing train

nor farmer’s new obstructing f...

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My dog started bringing me presents, a mouse and a live bird,

but then appeared an accident, I found he’d left me a turd.

I went to fetch some kitchen towel, declaring it less than a joke

but just as I went to clear it up the turd let out a croak.

I stumbled back with a cry of shock; was it a frog or a toad?

I opened the door and out it hopped and disappeared up the road.

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You talk to me of safe sex,

I’m not sure what you mean.

I don’t see how a condom

will stop me getting keen.

Your looks are drop-dead gorgeous,

you know how to give the eye

but when it comes to baring my soul,

I’m feeling rather shy.

Another notch on your bedpost

is not what I am for,

if I’m just one more conquest

I’ll not walk through your door.

If you real...

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His shed was a workshop first of all

with sturdy bench along one wall,

now bench and floor are full to the brim

so much so that you can’t get in.

Stuffed with tools and useless tat

that may come in handy – fancy that!

He thinks there’ll be a rainy day,

we’d not need that lot, come what may.

There never could be such a crisis

we’d need wood all shapes and sizes,

e...

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Should you go in the spare room, you wonder

as we lie here in bed together

so that I can be left to slumber

as it seems you’re coughing forever.

Loving affection is really our thing

so I suggest you take a dose

of that tasty cough medicine

which you have been keeping close.

So you take my advice with a swig

and hey, you’ve stopped coughing – yes!

but now you...

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Around a hundred and fifty thousand

members of public signed petition

for House of Commons poverty debate,

Tories just laughed at the opposition.

Why were stories of hardship so funny?

Man responsible, Iain Duncan Smith

refused to talk and left discussion,

now our democracy is but a myth.

So Michael Meacher called new debate,

the green benches were hardly packed,

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From winter storms

a day of sun

at four-fifteen

see magic spun.

On western skyline

charcoal clouds brew

such stark contrast

in sky still blue.

Deprived of sunset

how strange, I think

just three contrails

are brightest pink.

I thank the planes

for detection

their rosy vapour

sun reflection.

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