My arse is soaked from sitting on the metal

for what feels like a fucking eternity.

It doesn’t look like much goes on in these parts,

especially not at this time of night,

but beggars can’t be choosers as they say. 

A tram pulls in on the opposite platform,

full to the brim with laughter and togetherness, 

the kind that only outsiders can exude. 

But then in a flash it...

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A few words were said in anger

but their inferences vanished

when the tear ducts began to swell

and a lump suffocated me

and you just retreated further

and still haven’t quite returned home.

I almost lost you and still feel

Like I did.

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Pick a side; your call. But I guarantee 

the grass is greener on the other.

They've beaten you one way or another,

just like your pathetic predecessors. 

Look at you - a sweaty, neurotic mess,

dribbling the last of your whisky chaser

down your chest while glaring at the laptop 

with your back hunched. You grip your shaking hands,

praying that the Argentine footbal...

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Wake up

Hear fan

Rub eyes

Itch throat

Blow nose

Walk out

Turn tap

Drink down

Look out -

See sun -

Shake head 

Hate life

Walk back

Lie down 

Close eyes

Drift off

(Somehow) 

Repeat.

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I took the route not taken often these days;

the one I used to take as an observer

before my curiosity had worn thin

with my waist, hairline, patience and energy.

But in the minutes between checking emails,

talking to my girlfriend at length on the phone

and being generally pre-occupied,

embers temporarily regain their glow. 

I can recall a certain innocence

or...

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Once we've got ourselves semi settled,

the latest order is incoming 

for a kiss which is destined to be

all too dispassionate and short lived.

It serves a purpose, if nothing else. 

Remember when you used to bite your tongue

and I'd pontificate, unchallenged?

A few jokes later, you'd bite my tongue 

too; was that a seductive technique

or were you trying to tell me s...

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The charger’s sat on the window sill

while I’m sat in this single carriage

preparing my excuses:

“I’m sorry I didn’t call”/

“The day got away from me”/

“Just like that the battery went”/

“You know what iPhones are like”

and when each of these reasons wash

like the River Mersey does the skin

I’ll butter you up with endearments:

“Those plump pink lips are asking fo...

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My records are all packed for tomorrow.

I’ve got my English degree at the top

(I always had an eye for a good plot)

then my journalism course certificate

(I always had an eye for a story)

then my passport (I always liked to travel)

and at the bottom is my p45

(I never wanted to emulate you pricks).

You can add this to your records, if you like.

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Small talk, then the predictable - 

like you cared how I was.

Your words were barely audible

but the essence came across.

You smirked, like it was funny,

as only a cunt could do.

I might be short of money

but at least I’m shot of you.

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Thank God these beers are 9 percent

for when you feel the need to vent

while weaker men accept their place

and wonder why they showed their face.

I sip and wait for time to pass

amidst the sound of breaking glass,

while staring hopelessly at yeast –

The one thing here that’s grown, at least.

“This writing stuff’s all well and good

“but is it going to give you f...

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The chronic whines of infants reverberate

across deserted aisles and downstairs

to the messy, disjointed window displays

where mannequins stand, oblivious to life.

The clunking wheels of clothes rails rattle and spin

as if indifferent to their direction

and each agonising screech of coat hangers

evokes a newfound sense of desolation.

Chart hits play over and over ...

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Three questionable nights of sleep

an accumulation of mucus

and a few frothy pints later

and I’m back at this place.

The walls look like they’ve been moved back

the ceilings appear elevated

the furniture’s disproportionate

and disaster feels imminent

(my GP said that might happen).

As dawn breaks and other minds rest

I pace restlessly round the room

watch sun pouri...

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My mind has been released on bail

pending further enquiries.

Liberated, it walks with me

through the gates and onto the streets

but before wandering further 

it surveys, just for a minute -

the football game in the alley,

the blackbird's therapeutic chirp,

the slowly trickling riverbed,

the sky awash in orange-red.

It feels a multitude of things - 

Weary,...

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Words just about filter through

The shouts, screams and laughter

Behind me. I seek solace

In the beaming blue sky,

Partly covered by clouds,

Which pours through the stained glass pane –

A familiar sight

At this autumnal hour

When families go home

Together, and lovers watch

The world just pass them by.

My eyes return to the sky,

Choose a cloud, and wonder

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I've no mind to lose

or gain

A mind unused

can feel no pain

 - the kind borne out

Of overthought

By minds intense

and overwrought.

Joy, too, is futile,

A fleeting thing

To which the docile

hearts will cling.

So what of me

When all is done?

Actions, many

Feelings, one

For what I know

I knew not then

Those years ago

Before ...

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When I was fresher faced than now

And needed ways to fill my nights 

I'd get the Eddie Stobart out

While big boys put the world to rights.

I sped along the window sill 

Scything down all ants in sight 

It seems a somewhat twisted thrill 

When looked at in a different light.

Fretful faces watched me play,

Distracted by the TV screen;

The bomb set off by Tim M...

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The lighter's the only thing that's clicked today

And it needn't have bothered in any case.

If only

The flames had burned like the holes in our stomachs

Instead they fizzled out with the sun (and us)

The Queen of Sefton Park deserves more than this,

A light breeze taken out of context

That would've served us well on another day

But not today. Not when we...

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The connotations were different 

Back then - the days of SEGA Rally

On the PC. I got a right ear full

When I crashed at a bend and threw a strop

What came back makes me wince even now.

The documented exchange saw you sent

To the headteachers office for your sins.

The rally games eventually stopped,

The bickering dragged on a while longer.

My slipping grades; staying out ...

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An unwelcome intruder

you were, that Wednesday night

you landed on the vinyl

while I tended to the bags

under my eyes before bed.

This, of all places? But why?

Did you want a change of scene,

somewhere to make a fresh start?

Or did you just end up here

and have no idea why?

If your answer's the latter,

don't worry - you're not alone.

Poor thing - you were s...

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I used to love the fair, didn’t you?

Hooking ducks out of the water

Eating hotdogs with too much ketchup

Panicking over height restrictions

The blood and thunder of the dodgems

Brought out your inner competitor.

There was a whole array of facepaints

Which made you stand out from the crowd.

Stallholders would ask all about you,

Your name, your age, where you were from

...

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Pigeon

As you strut down the chewing gum stained pavement

It’s hard to picture your breasts stuffed with foie gras

Served alongside a large glass of red Bordeaux

At a revered Michelin-starred restaurant.

Such grandeur is a far cry from the butts

Of cigarettes you peck at expectantly

While your cronies shit on windscreens for the laughs

You’re no golden pheasant, that m...

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Miles of rippled sand and

Sunset in orange wavelengths

Are the most perfect setting

For selfish escapism.

As I stand atop the mound

For a minute, I feel free

here - Why oblige? Why belong?

Just like that, though, it hits me.

My defunct Ray Bans come off

and Pictures of You comes on

casting my mind back and forth.

Your hair, auburn, elusive

My hands, clenched, ag...

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Outside the lift,

Just across the hallway,

In one of the adjacent flats

I heard a melodic scale on guitar 

They were clearly a beginner

Like me back in high school

But no longer.

It was a C

natural minor scale 

Ascending and descending notes

Brought to mind new adjectives on each play.

Optimistic and ominous

Resolute and resigned

Novel and known.

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The stream 

Is where my younger years were spent

The stream 

My most dependable of friends

The stream

In which we hid our feet from view

The stream

To where it flowed, we never knew

The stream

The scene of countless conker fights

The stream

So tranquil on a summer night

The stream

Where we would seek our evening dish 

The stream 

Where on...

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The shipping forecast reports severe storms

Waves ricochet off rocks along the shore

Out to sea, towering walls of water

Overwhelm the sturdiest of vessels

Which, fight as they might against the currents,

Will concede defeat any second now.

A buoy stays afloat, just, but is itself

Perilously close to going under.

Lightning strikes once, twice, maybe a third time

Or at le...

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It’s 30 miles from mine to yours

But every night it feels like more

When I get in and clear my head

I want you but get me instead.

The smell of weariness and gloom

Has killed your hairspray and perfume

Though misplaced socks and sleeping mask

Make through the week a simpler task

In this, my fucking freezing flat

(No you to sort the thermostat)

It feels like ...

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The infinite stretch of tarmac

Has a hypnotic effect

Any sense of rhyme or reason

Is lost in the unconsciousness.

Droves of lambs with no agenda

Surrounded by crisp morning sun

Are a welcome distraction

From sudden, unforeseen delays.

Water slowly trickles upstream

Like pollutant cars up the bridge –

Imposing and industrial –

Which cut through this serenity

To m...

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Salford Quays is like the Amazon today

Warm, moist air rises, spreading and lingering

On glass, driven by an intricate rhythm

The mystique of our misty reflections

Leaving little to be accountable for.

No corners are left uncovered

By the millions of droplets

Falling on this steamed-up surface

Where vague snippets of us, that are

Soon to evaporate, remain.

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The builder blows his cigarette fumes

Into the melancholy morning air

They dissipate almost instantly

Carriages which once seemed years away

Pull in to collect their passengers

And so, a new journey has begun.

The heavens have opened up today

Cocky schoolboys are drenched to the bone

We fly past acres of nothingness,

Houses built out of an afterthought,

Street ar...

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