i want to be forgotten.

i want the last time

someone utters my name

to be on the first day

of spring.

i want the world to

get acquainted with

a life without my love

and then

i want it to cry

because

it really was

better with me in it

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I am covered in
bruises.
i love them because
they are proof
of all the times i fell...
in love.
i am covered in
scars.
i love them because
they are proof
of all the times i thought i fell...
in love
but something else was there to catch me.
i have scraped knees
from being dragged
thru life by my heart
because it moves
quicker
than my feet.

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I was ready made for grief.

to live an ode to a common thing,
     this elegy to peace.

and on the days that I feel nothing,
     I torment the stillness behind my eyes
because feeling is proof of living.
and I so badly want to be alive.
     to dig deep in the scar garden,
     to excavate my hollow pit,
     to sow a lifetime of memories
     of being just out of reach.

it is my...

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I've been in my feelings
and in my head for years.
I've built walls and
called them boundaries only
to wake up one day and realize
that I've boxed myself in

and that's the tragedy in it all;

in keeping myself safe
I've locked everything out.
and what a sad way to live,
peaceful and
picking my own muse 
to pieces until the only thing
left is
a bloody pile of 
everything I used to...

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i'm always the girl youre not sure about.
people have tried to make me
the girl you come back for.
but i want to be the girl
you never left.

and there are gaps in my happiness.
gaps in my teeth.
gaps in between breaths.
air, just...
slipping away.
fading away 
like colors on clothes
that have spent too much time
in the sun.

and what a funny way to say
theres always light in my l...

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