after a Happy Death
"It takes time to live
Like any work of art
Life needs to be thought about"
To affirm your solidarity
With the world
At its worst
To declare yourself life’s accomplice
Even in its thanklessness and its filth.
How noble it must be
To walk hand in hand with
The very thing
That circulates despair
To show love and dedication
In the face of certainty
...Thursday 5th September 2024 7:24 pm
the loneliest tree in the desolate yellow
it's all so violent,
to live and feel connected.
the things we do
and say
and make
and break
in the name of love
how many times we've waited
for the dust to settle before
we stand up and brush
the wreckage from our cheek
only to fall again
and again
and again
how we fold ourselves
so deeply into each other
only to recognize the vacant space
they used to hold for us
and when...
Tuesday 3rd September 2024 1:46 pm
sorry I haven't been writing... I've been CAVING
Monday 2nd September 2024 4:17 pm
here and gone
i want to be forgotten.
i want the last time
someone utters my name
to be on the first day
of spring.
i want the world to
get acquainted with
a life without my love
and then
i want it to cry
because
it really was
better with me in it
Thursday 29th August 2024 4:25 pm
dear diary
dear diary,
I am 40. And Im just now starting to find my footing. or a new footing. there's so much change that it's difficult to tell. But, love always has been and always will be the main plot of my life's story. Sadly it seems, though, that no matter how ferverently I emote what love is to me; how deeply, purely, selflessly I love, I am met with an abundance of resistance and find myself los...
Wednesday 28th August 2024 4:18 pm
for Plato
such a divine gift
lay draped around her neck.
angels pantomiming inside gemstone walls,
each shimmer of light
is a fight,
a scream,
a plea
for release.
grieving diamonds are still diamonds,
trapped in animosity.
Tuesday 27th August 2024 4:28 pm
enigma
my eyes did give worship
to every hint of olive on his skin.
I whisper a Hail Mary
and surrender
to the kiss of another bullet.
his armor, amatory.
mine, antiquated.
pray,
prey.
a pair of tangled beasts
never knew such beauty.
Monday 26th August 2024 10:47 pm
shoulder the sky
atlas
echoes to the waters edge,
no fractured beauty in the
luminous lost in love.
from ridge
to crest
to flume,
the olive in my skin
flutters.
veins
rust,
ripple,
and glimmer.
this deadened
parcel
coppers.
dock your heart to mine
as we expire,
muted.
Saturday 24th August 2024 3:19 am
fireflies once a loved in falsetto
this mirror doesn't look like it used to;
jigsawed together in dichotomous consummation.
fireflies once loved in falsetto,
now plumb to umber,
no less mystical
rather walking in slumber.
windows carry weight
and light is no longer peaching.
hands never raised,
no longer reaching.
hushed desire perched on lips,
showing but never speaking.
it's the loudness of action,
reaping what y...
Thursday 22nd August 2024 4:17 pm
his scar garden
it is in the safety of the charred night,
one whose stars have been hand plucked
from the sky,
that I observe myself
in an infinite bliss.
the cosmos purr this sacred psalm of wonder,
this fresh breath of a new love
spilling from my lips
sets fog from core.
I thrust myself to the sky
time and time again,
and time again.
this precious consequence
leaves me
numb and hungry
for an...
Wednesday 21st August 2024 4:46 pm
Archer meets the Bull
to grieve is to know love intimately.
to pluck his voice from a crowd,
though I've not heard it in years.
to reminisce about my fingertips
reading his calloused hands like braille
and finding my next breath in every tactile.
to recognize any morsel of his being
in any dimension
and pledging patience to the search
in every lifetime.
to finding him.
and knowing he is ever present.
...
Tuesday 20th August 2024 5:21 pm
on repeat
peel your chin from the canyon,
drown your heart in rock salt,
and let the glow pour into every cleft.
feel the rumble in thunder.
let your feet meet the earth.
stand in symphony.
baptize yourself in rain.
cover your ears
and watch with marvel at the world.
let this breath be new.
strip the heat from your mouth
and gaze like linchpin.
rid your body of brittle.
soak in devotion...
Tuesday 20th August 2024 3:34 pm
death in adagio
binding my roots to the earth
is a sacred therapy.
my soul recognizes it
as muscle memory.
this holy walk on eternal plank,
brushing elbows with the grey
while i claw to escape my skin.
a draw of breath into infinite abdication,
bleeding out in memory.
Monday 19th August 2024 6:11 pm
weaving the void
the universe plays its cruel tricks;
dressing my love in a body I must share
with a dying world.
but she is beautiful
and kind
and delicate
so I must learn to flourish in the shadows.
but I will him next to me
waiting to be enveloped in his arms,
lick the sweet sand,
and knead it against the tip of my tongue.
for the first time
I understand what it means
to summon a phenomenon
Sunday 18th August 2024 4:26 pm
premortem
it's
fearful stutters
on lips with a lisp,
gaping wide open,
autopsy of the chest.
it's wretched.
and painstakingly
beautiful.
and oh, how I love it.
Saturday 17th August 2024 12:35 pm
the fall
I am covered in
bruises.
i love them because
they are proof
of all the times i fell...
in love.
i am covered in
scars.
i love them because
they are proof
of all the times i thought i fell...
in love
but something else was there to catch me.
i have scraped knees
from being dragged
thru life by my heart
because it moves
quicker
than my feet.
Friday 16th August 2024 5:23 pm
stigma of a damselfly
the woodland hoarfrost dressing tendrils
could no less love the light;
it is in this very conflict I find myself
in cavernous worship to both sides,
this delicate balance of paradox,
pirouetting on a sheet of glass,
untinged
by the busy of the world,
alive in its own concention.
Thursday 15th August 2024 5:04 pm
in the darkness, lights
I was ready made for grief.
to live an ode to a common thing,
this elegy to peace.
and on the days that I feel nothing,
I torment the stillness behind my eyes
because feeling is proof of living.
and I so badly want to be alive.
to dig deep in the scar garden,
to excavate my hollow pit,
to sow a lifetime of memories
of being just out of reach.
it is my...
Wednesday 14th August 2024 4:24 pm
Unpacking the Life of a Poet
I didn’t always have these roots,
There were years that
My hands were kites
And anywhere I laid my head was my home.
And suitcases were not anomalous
And freedom wasn’t a forced prayer in school.
I didn't always have these roots,
There were moments that
Spread across forever
And made time stand still.
And what I could carry was always enough.
I didn't a...
Tuesday 13th August 2024 4:21 pm
death of a gorgon
so I become this wrought iron
that I have forged with my own two hands.
I sharpen myself,
tip to hilt.
but
my mouth,
the very blade that can cut the sky,
chose to speak in a healers' tone instead.
I remind myself
of the violence it took
to become
this gentle.
this cup of earth in my hands,
with home beneath
my fingernails.
I remind myself
what it means to be
pierced to the marrow
...
Monday 12th August 2024 6:39 pm
what's that word again?
I've been in my feelings
and in my head for years.
I've built walls and
called them boundaries only
to wake up one day and realize
that I've boxed myself in
and that's the tragedy in it all;
in keeping myself safe
I've locked everything out.
and what a sad way to live,
peaceful and
picking my own muse
to pieces until the only thing
left is
a bloody pile of
everything I used to...
Thursday 8th August 2024 4:20 pm
on a thursday
i'm always the girl youre not sure about.
people have tried to make me
the girl you come back for.
but i want to be the girl
you never left.
and there are gaps in my happiness.
gaps in my teeth.
gaps in between breaths.
air, just...
slipping away.
fading away
like colors on clothes
that have spent too much time
in the sun.
and what a funny way to say
theres always light in my l...
Sunday 4th August 2024 11:10 pm
If Galaxies Could Kiss
he never kissed me
goodbye.
there are no
borrowed breaths
bridging us,
no revival
on his lips.
just empty space
between memories
of when
there were no fireworks
and my feet
never leaving the ground.
Sunday 4th August 2024 10:41 pm
Rust
I'm afraid I'll lose my edge
if I don't cut myself with it
afraid there's no proof
of my life
if it isn't pouring crimson
afraid that
I'm living in vain if
I'm not
living in vein
Im afraid I'll lose my edge
if I don't cut myself with it
Sunday 21st July 2024 12:06 am
light as a feather
in the real world
we have to escape our ribs
if we ever want
to survive being
in our heads.
in a better world,
we have to escape
our heads if
we ever want
to survive
being in our ribs
Tuesday 25th June 2024 12:14 am
skulk
these days
we tip toe around
cracked souls
and flirt with the depth of their existence
once in awhile
a stranger is brave enough
to plant their roots firm on the shoreline
and let the tidal wave fall
broken at their feet
as if to say
"its ok to touch me."
#IntoTheFeralRedEther
Tuesday 25th June 2024 12:07 am
rock, paper, scissors
they say
make like a tree and grow
but I don't know how to stay planted
I don't know
how
to capture the rain
and let it soak my feet
and
I dont know why I always choose paper
when scissors are so much sharper,
and rocks
are easier to chaffer.
why blades
can kill *and*
save lives,
why
stone throws
build homes
and
"why" means nothing
in the grand GRAND sc...
Tuesday 25th June 2024 12:04 am
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