Give me the dirt in your soul I don't want pretty and clean I want the ugly and messy the real nitty gritty the raw feelings. Please overshare that story with me, people like you don't scare me, I don't feel uncomfortable when you scream and cry, I feel at home. 

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It's been a year since I felt a thing 

the fucking wind doesn't even hit my face the same

the smell of fire isn't as strong

I turned down my own brightness

This year I crave to be noticed 

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Table cloth around my neck I can share the smoke from my breath 
Bracelets that clatter when I feel depressed
I want my pain to tickle your chest 

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You carry dust in your socks and rearrange the color of your thoughts 
the cherry candle I bought melts out months of your rot
I can buy a brand new lighter to burn every piece of me you shot now I'm left with a memory I'm sure you forgot 

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Why did I love you so my old friend
The taste of you now is not light at time of bed
I want to erase every memory from my head but who would be my friend till the end 
a face I won't believe till I see them drop dead 

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Being lazy is my release

These motives for living seem tounge and cheek 

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I have a friendship with fairy tales and bright white china dolls who collect sparkles in their eyes 
I can show you my safe place where we share all the love our mothers gave us and wonder why our fathers never loved us enough 
This is a memoir to the child with a sour heart 

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You blow up your pain and burst into vapor
Loving the smell of dangerous nature 

Drink to all things you'll get to later
didn't know you'd grow into a tree with flames in your craters

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I feel as if I am mad like the curtain wrapped around my brain is being ripped off and suddenly changed vibrant and loud like all the reactions i let out 

im not surprised at the fire that's resistant to the water it won't go out like all the misery you try to wash out of your hair when you cry over that boy who was never yours 

I'm accepting to your currant it leaves me cursing on the floor...

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It's easy to say "don't take your anger out on someone. They don't deserve it. Take it out in a healthy way."
But we all get upset, we all lash out, we all get sensitive, and sometimes all we know is how to react viciously towards someone else.
Sometimes you get so upset at everyone around you when the problem lies within yourself. 
Sometimes you can lack control and it's not necessarily your f...

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I got new jeans last year because when I graduated high school my body began to change. Hips and all. I was surprised and a bit self conscious with the growth of my body. I felt like I wasn't as thin. I remember wearing really tight sports bras to cover up my boobs. I didn't want to seem curvy. I wanted to seem skinny. I'm currently learning to accept my body for it is growing everyday. not being ...

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I'd like to thank god for being the only constant friend in my life. You have never left me, you never will leave me and that's comforting beyond belief. How can I thank you. breathe through me. I'm sorry for the evil I do. 

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We all met different people who give us a reason to keep fighting.
It's exciting to know I haven't met all the souls I was meant to and I can't wait to see where these people take me how they'll help me heal. It can be scary when you feel alone in a mind crushing with madness, but you will meet someone who will show you why we become darkness. They will give you a hand like you never knew unlike ...

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When you weren't looking I knocked on the door of your soul 
I noticed glass was the product you chose 
Maybe I can help myself first before you see me marveling the build up of dark you hold  
You had rose petal eyes with words powerful enough to make old bruises swell 
you opened your mouth when the lights were out and the flowers flowed with a color I've never seen before 
It was beautiful...

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I've realized I continuously put myself down there's this side to me that's almost evil. 
I don't know why it brings itself to my mind embedded in my cells.
It talks in tones that echo into my speech.
I want to take this part of me and shed it off to throw it over a cliff. 
It's the doubt that's infectious.
As I have always seen shutting down as the only choice.
When that is such a awful way...

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I would kill to dance with you underneath the moon. only nature surrounding us as we captivate earth with the way we speak of magic and change. for no one believes I can pick myself back up to be noticed by the sun. 

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Babygirl you were made for so much more than what you think. Suicide should never be the answer you seek.

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why would you mark dance routines around the one you love.

you had a golden ring that you threw into the hurricane with each of your initails ingraved.

i cried at the thought of all her pain.

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How could she believe anything you'd say.

I wonder what lie your selling for your lost hope in being vain.

take back the brag that's written for personal gain.

The pride you hold in your teeth portraying it's not a game.

Took away her trust in place of holding a temporary face.

Still you claim she's your love.

Look at the damage you've done.

the lies you tell than second guess...

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I Stomped on your glass when you claimed to carry my feet
Does dishonestly make you complete
A sick way you got to me
One thing I'll never believe
All the beautiful words not meant for you to speak
Every goodbye you give is fallen on hurt you can't see 
I handed you a piece freely when I was drawn in with false feelings

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some people won't see your worth and all that you are

you let these people go for you can never force one to love you

Even if they do, it won't be with honesty 

For the love they give is built on lies 

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Lock me in a coffin filled with red roses this pain is one that reoccurs with a strong notice 
You ran the water dry lead me up real high 
To inject me with a thread

to leave me out on a knife flooded bed 
I shouldn't have expected Flowers to shed when I pick the bad ones who rattle my head

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when I get this upset all I want is to cut myself open and take out all the pieces that are dying, If I could I’d rub away the residue of what you left in me

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Did you have fun taking a knife to my heart 
blood gushing everywhere 
A unexpected disaster 
I caught you red handed
So you twist and run

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Don't drown, don't drown honey you promised you'd never change for the money

Now I miss the sweet step in your walk ever since you left there's a new way you talk

I can't explain how we all fall victim to violent rain now you leave because with me your ashamed

Give me a second to remember how it was it can be hard when you lost the one you love

He's given up on having power realized it...

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I will be your light I know how the demons hide 

Have faith in me from all the wickedness you keep inside

for I see all under the sun what's done in secrecy has not won

When you feel dead like nothing's worth the fight in your head

Bring me the pain ill grant you the courage to change 

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getting out of your comfort zone seems impossibe. 

inside youd like to stay.

what waits for you outside of these walls may amaze you.

how scary it is to step out of the routine.

judgement awaits in faces you thought youd forgotten.

dont let it scare you we all have something to give.

take time to heal to grow and fully accept who you are.

have faith. 

climb up the ladder.

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Try me on we can taste the cake

tell me how different your mind can shape 

Of course you experienced my pain too late 

In a circle around you didn't break 

Lie for the art that's not yours to take 

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Goodbye love of cigarettes 

captivated by that night it replays again and again 

now the taste of alcohol whispers truth in my head

dropping me off at a dead end

calling out for a name I want to forget 

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Why so dramatic she says with red eyes her reflection weeping back at her
Maybe you were made this way to create something greater than yourself 
To shake everything up a bit
Don't be afraid beautiful girl

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Even if you shine the light my way I won't flinch
I mistake each sparkle for a glimpse 
lead me on to take one last kiss
We can admit it's wrong as I cross you off my list  

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People come and go, sometimes you think it will last forever. 
Don't we wish friendships had stronger ties. 
But friendships can be exhausting.
They can be toxic.
They can be over in a text paragraph. 
You can get your heart broken by friends.
Some people aren't willing to love you like you love them. So you let them go. 

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5 foot 4
said she was a beauty queen as she walked through that door 
the smell of her perfume was hard to ignore 
with hungry eyes that screamed I want more 

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I've been taking too many quick shots he's doing donuts in the parking lot

I think we're growing new skin leave me on the edge with your old sins

They play instruments on the water as we begin leaving our rotten limbs

Crawl out with a layer of fresh bone to borrow calling for a chance to

Feel sorrow lovely boy who craves to aim the arrow I think I've seen

Him hide from the truth onl...

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I've been doing just lovely thank you for asking

is she still bent between your grief

I remember how she begged you to leave

all she wanted was to shed tears of relief

Instead you forced yourself to stay sat there laughed in her face

Said you bring the rain in with the sun

how she's your only one there's no leaving it's already begun.

I've been doing just lovely thank you for ...

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Wind changes a ligh bulb to June

who knew the high would be over so soon.

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I found God in hospital beds wondering what more can I live for.

in my own solitude as my heart grows for light.

when I was questioning everything about my life.

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What a twisted way we portray God in the media. Our society has us fooled.

Along the stream we all go. Unpopular opinions unwanted. Banished. Shamed.

We are a foolish society with open minds but not open hearts.

Offended by anything we take this too seriously.

so why should I care what any of them think. Let me love God.

let me do me. Flourish within my soul.

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I could go with anyone under such distress but in control you'd never guess I'm such a mess

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No ones as perfect as they seem, for everyone secretly is tearing by uncontrolled means, somewhere we can met underneath, self bitten pride is held deep, stolen boys entitled to insecure beliefs

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I think I'm going down and I don't mean it as good as it sounds as in when you feel the Lightning shake as you hold your ground as in I'm feeling sick but I love my doubt can we all not judge actions and spend time laughing aloud 
But I won't even remember so what's the hype really about

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He praises empty bottles of liquor
Dressing up pretty to get to her quicker 
She paints her skin like rose water and dances to pictures
Everyday he brings her news letters covered with stickers 
She throws them away to grow flowers quicker

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How indescisive our brains have been doomed

I can't stop painting about you

these feelings we fail to remove

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How can a girl be so naive always expecting a boy to hold your hand when you can't even love yourself.

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Have fun with your journey! Embrace it!

Embrace the pain, all the bad days, tell them a story of a happy time while your fighting.

Embrace the happiness for it is a time that reminds you of why it is so important to keep moving.

Take in all your mistakes and flaws met them with your successes and strengths, for it is all of you that makes you beautiful.

Embrace every inch of you! We ar...

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There's something that burns in me, it gets hot when I want to sleep.

Shakes me out of who i am, it wants me to begin again.

But im so weak. I'm so tired. I can't even move. I feel like this a lot of the time.

its my chest deepening getting ready for something greater.

I feel all this, so Im prepared for what's to come next. I know it.

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What a drag it is to be an individual. Brave hearts are only capable to go against the grain.

For it is exhausting. Not to be myself but to accept myself. knowing the inner fire that builds

it snaps at whoever gets in my way. It can break me I must say it has broken me many times.

It has also evolved me from the ash. A strong girl I've become.

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my sister has always been out of the box. She's one of the coolest people I know. She is herself.

100% authentic and you can't say that about everyone. And now it seemed more and more people

wanted to be different/weird even the ones who made fun of others for being so in the past,

because these people were apart of the system the trends they want to be cool they want to be accepted

wh...

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 The art of dealing with other people. You must get creative in your mind to deal with difficult people. It is a art.

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I swore some people got off on tragedy. In a twisted way it gave them something outrageous to feel.

It set a fire to run through with abusive feelings. Kind of an excuse to act out. I'm not sure if these people

even realize they're doing it. Waiting for their next emotional explosion.

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the scars on your arm reflect a struggle. i dont know why you felt the need to do that to yourself. youre far too beautiful. but beauty doesnt make up for all the pain. and i never felt too beautiful anyways. for my pain is vivid reds and melted blues. its waking up with a pit in your chest every morning. its reaching for a hand soft and gentle to realize youve been fooled with selfish intentions....

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thoes who are different, outcasted. i welcome you with open arms. here is where we are celebrated for our differences. for the ones who are different know a unique kind of struggle. i must tell you, when you feel like nothing, to know, always know, we who are different, are built for something far greater.

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do we all hide behind a false sense of security? if its your hair, youd never dare cut it off because how ugly theyd think you look. if its a boy, you give all your love to him and if he ever left you, you swore youd leave yourself too. if its your substance of choice, that makes you feel like you can be anything but ones you crash its a nightmare. you feel like someone took your heart and began g...

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God has a funny way of revealing himself to you. sometimes id question if he could hear me. if he was listening. i didnt know if i was doing it right. ive never been into going to church every sunday. it was something about the people there. i didnt feel accepted or as if i belonged. i felt theyd look at me like what the hell is she doing here. sometimes that would push me further from god. i thou...

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i always wondered why im so sensitive, someone can give me a look from across the room and id shake in my skin wanting to dissapear or fly away with the birds. with me it has always been like that. i didnt know why i cared what they thought but i did. it must have something to do with the ones who made me feel like nothing growing up. everything they said about me every disgusted look that was thr...

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sometimes we are all blinded by what we want to see rather than the ugly truth. i am blinded by him. he never only wanted me. it wasnt even my heart he wanted, of course. its typical. these boys are not men. men dont talk down about the women they want. men dont lie about thier lover to get a one night ticket in your pants. these are foolish games for broken people who lack understanding of what i...

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Today is one of thoes days. when i cant find myself. it was always meant to be all about me. why would i open my soul to one so foul. he never even mentioned his lover.

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All the girls who let you win are full of sadness. They want your love rather than their own. It's sad still true. How us girls wind up with swollen hearts, open wounds, and loose trust.

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He knocked the wind out of my chest
A running man holding my breath
he knows I'm weak ones he's left

still his love was never mine to collect

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Her tears tasted like dismissed sympathy

as her eyes screamed feelings I wouldn't believe.

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For I thought I was a flower was it I who set your soul on fire

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Maybe it was everything you deserved it was my flame that fizzled out to haunt you.

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Hands can seem open but will snatch everything you are including your name, if you open up your hands to the wrong person you'll be missing a part of you forever.

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On most days I can't decide, confessions from a simple glance in her eyes.

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Your love makes my eyes burn. They tell me not to look for the excuse beauty is found when we can finally let loose. Focus on your own acts of friendly abuse. The weight in my heart is what's tied loose it sets us apart from the truth for no ones taught to understand thieves don't break into empty houses.

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My heart beats In a cage I can't explain your lonely for my body but that's not my case. You could blow me away it wouldn't even matter by the end of the day. You said I'm naturally drawn to the darker side of things that my eye is the key and I should retain every goodbye even the nights I couldn't remember why. You told me to step aside to ask no more questions just watch the time, to never ment...

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I came to bring a point of view for anyone who has secres overdue. Your lips bring dust to my chest but that's not why I leave you for the rest the way you feel when you compromise and it's not for the best. The truth is you set yourself up to the sky wrapping all your friends up for a lie keep telling yourself no ones onto such a foul disguise.

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What is it about girls like me? What is it that sets a fire in my soul to cause havoc and chaos all around. It's girls like me that get called crazy, insane, and stupid. When people fail to understand that is what you will be labeled. It's girls like me that pick roses growing in green fields to skip all the way back home and find out they were actually plastic as the paint chips off the petals.

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These thoughts bring dripping color to my brain a unusual beauty of questioning

As I wake up a thick layer of uncertainty and doubt lingers in the taste of my coffee

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It would be a drunk night under suicide lights I jumped in the pool for a chance to forget those lies instead I felt you run up my brain a rush you told me I looked beautiful with bloodshot eyes. I won't be the first one to call out the danger I'd like to leave it up to my worst behavior.

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When can my true self be spoken they laugh when I find myself having a moment its no ones business but everyones got their nose in.

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I thought I saw the fire burn but then when I took a second look it was only a hallucination... I wonder if all I see is a mere hallucination of my fears or what I'm feeling too much of.

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Where do you go when I feel your name but the words not clear you left me out in the rain I can't match each picture to its frame admit your lost trapped in a game. I'm counting down the days till it all crashes in your wave I'm caught up in this grave. I'm writing out my moods that have gone un noticed all the lies you've spoken now I'm drowning down with the moon out of focus. I'm where the ice ...

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Shake my finger tips you have me picking for the light I kissed. Run to my love when it's sugar free now my voice mellows out I'm afraid to speak. Ask a few more question so I can figure out my plan to leave. Your right to question how I spend my days to betray love in crying waves to compete for yet another sheltered dismay.

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I want to stab my own chest take a drink of what's in my breath move too fast to feel the thunder pound at nothing left beause you take it all from me even the dollar bill I've kept now I release my mind for theft for all who wander a chance to recollect

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Some of my words come out unrehearsed a smell of a coward wanting your curse my brain is a well with vivid imagery when your unclear in your speech tell me I'm the one too broken to see my wings are steered when walked apoun in disbelief open one topic up to breathe where's the rest of me its left in your back house the days we couldn't care to break out some of the most refreshing ways to wash aw...

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I need someone who's comfortable enough to stay who doesn't shy when I curse their name to never leave me alone in my rain

i break my own heart how I die never will I open myself up inside this lie I tell a million times

This reoccurane of my own self to cry this happens even when I explain to myself why

im better off with no one to drift in my mind for what a foul time to be alive

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I'm not about the hype maybe if you held my hand that night my mind wouldn't be all bark and no bite instead you fell asleep with his knife told me it would be okay if I held my own for once in my life.

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I live for your knife even when you don't play nice you're the love of my life.

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Tell me I'm amazing that everything about me is far from crazy and nothing I do is shady tell me there's no need to change well maybe.

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I want to feel the warmth of your skin feeding into mine a loyal scent of openness.

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She said you better be careful you might get cut I laughed and said that's why I love it so much.

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How lovely would it be to wake up dead I wouldn't feel this emptiness lingering in my head no more blow ups or people leaving me no more loosing myself to sympathy

giving up would be the worst thing to do I have to keep my head up trust in you because I believe your plan for me makes up for all life's tragedy the fallen Angels take shots because your mind is closed you never care to look for th...

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I will never love you again it's only a loosing battle I find myself stepping back into the shadows let out all your secrets to help you breathe too bad it was a pity on me no more falling under the lights I felt it hit me once or twice

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He said I have nothing to loose that second guessing is my primary move now is my last chance to choose I've been caught in a lie he damned my name to the stars released my eyes to be violent I said this isn't fun anymore they're disapponted.

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I can't help how brutal my words are sold I never meant to be the one to turn your blood cold you grew into a monster with red eyes lacking control told me I was bold to stumble out of such a destructive role but that soon Id fail burn with no soul as he screams this is my favorite show.

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Do we find love in the ends or do we need a constant reminder of why the message sends why you left and reminded me of no good men because my kind is broken how you turned your back while witnessing a million lost moments.

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I'm a fool for tragedy it's not you its me. They say I'm too open not lightly spoken. Maybe im in love with you showing up unnoticed you ran with every door still open I'm winding my own web with flowers flourished you said I need to re focus and now that I've grown into a lotus you've got that gun reloaded.

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I'm no where near the end of time have you thought of mine any of the thoughts that lie?

In reality there's no get away door or pink waves that give away each thorn there's no words between you and me the things we can not say it breaks my heart everyday these tired eyes fall I even break mirrors when my face is painted like a doll.

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Coffee blood stained teeth

Washing away what's obvious to me

Sweat on your knees mimic the elongated rips in your jeans

Still the light seems so heavy no matter the release

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Hold me down maybe this time I want to feel too much you and those eyes that make my cheeks flush.

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we've had enough time to rest break out of the tunnel, cigarette scent why am I captive to a selfish friend a worried soul who hates the tale of pretend.

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