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In Case I Lose This Fight

I almost killed myself tonight,

I ran out of reasons to live and reasons to fight.

Each day is a battle just to survive,

How is it that I am expected to thrive?

 

The loneliness in this house is overbearing,

I feel like a fool for even caring.

All I need is to be loved and feel wanted,

But my reality is the opposite while my brain is haunted.

 

Nothing I say or do wil...

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depressionhelplesshopelessself-destructionfragileflawedeasily brokendarkraw poetryvulnerable

Acknowledge me

It reaches further than "please fuck me" or "don’t touch me"

It’s a liminal in-between 

A line we like to call blurry

But I never asked you to undress me

My body abandoned me

My words went slurry

Tongue too thick to go beyond a mumble

Kind sir escorted me to save me from stumble

Four times play on my mind

One of them I even forgot

Until it accosted me during a usual d...

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acceptdenialpaintraumaacknowledgeassaultrapeattackaccostrape cultureblurred linesconsentalcoholmemoriesgrowthyouthPTSDsurvivemental healthemotionarticulatecommunicatevulnerableopen up

I: skeleton

Face like stone

Hard to read

I find myself taking pride

In my totem pole

Of expressions, I can hide

Masterfully deceptive

Every bit secretive

All heart without sleeves

Makes it easier to breathe

But being naked

Really stripping off

And just letting everyone watch

That is true strength

True power

Is knocking down this tower

Being bare

Just a sk...

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skeletonvulnerableemotionconnectbravecourageoustruerealrawpassionsensationbeingaliveconnectedspiritsoulpowerdeceptivehideprotectdefencestonepoker facestillexpressarticulateunfilteredbold

Leverage

I’ve peeled off my skin for you 

I’ve let you crunch my bones,

Consume beyond my flesh

Beyond my visceral tissues

Beyond my beating heart

Beyond the fibres of my being

Down to my soul

I’ve let you gobble up my spirit

I’ve let you slurp up my mind

Lick the lasting crumbs

of my emotions

Everything in me

Everything making me, me

All that constructs me

All...

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loveheartbreakpainrelationshipemotionvulnerabilityvulnerablegivingsacrificejumpconsumefearpowerinterdependentinterlocksmitteninfatuationin lovebegprayhopedread

To be Loved by You

What do you see

When your eyes land on me

What do you fear

When I am near

What is written on the wall

That's guarding you from all

I long to give to you

 

Do you know

Do you really know

That I would never let you go

Do you understand

I only wish to be with you

In the end

 

When I look at you

It's like the whole world is new

A better place for all

...

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lovetrue lovedreamsfearvulnerable

Map

Something has changed,

Not in the usual way:

The natural adjustment,

The evolution of life.

No, this something,

It's foreign to my mind.

Oh wanderer of new lands,

On an unwalked path.

As fog clears,

Unveiling the whole trail,

"X" marks the spot,

The same spot it always has.

But this journey

To meet it,

It was written in invisble ink,

Only to appear

W...

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new lovevulnerabletrustnew beginnings

Knock Knock

You and your trust issues

Me and mine

You have your fears

And your doubts

About me

And I have mine

 

But every time

We try to rationalize

And prove to each other

That the pieces don't fit

The sentences get left

Unfinished

 

Back and forth

Like whiplash

Seeing how far I'll go

Until I look back

Keeping me comfortable

At a distance

 

Have...

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fearheartbreaklovepainusedvulnerable

I see why love is red.

I can’t tell you.

But last night, you entered my chest

for play, some kind of game, like ‘Operation’

and then I couldn’t sleep

I jolted – shivered – jerked – quirked,

now my eyes don’t close

and my body is a pulse,

you tiptoed across my ribcage,

leaving foot prints enlaced by landmines,

you slept on my lungs,

short wired my arteries,

you clipped the circuits of my ...

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🌷(4)

lovereddangervulnerablepaindisasterbroken heartexcitementthrillworry

Numb

Once a darkness wrapped her soul,
A willow weeping, a devoid whole. 
Stole her hope, her pride, her lust. 
Pain twisted taking trust. 

She wandered vulnerable but free,
Deathly pale but not drug free. 
Chemically calmed, sedated, numb.
The only way to cope for some. 

Twisted visions of the truth,
Forever lost beauty and youth.
Broken wings no longer fly. 
Long ago she prayed to die....

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Vulnerablemental illness

The stranger on her neck

Can you see the track marks up her arms?
I spy
With my wide eye
The stranger upon her neck.


Like the birthmark of a bloodhound,
Like a grisly flesh pinch,
An angrily sealed wound,
A Chinese burn,

A beating burning bruise,

A bloody blush:
The bite of the hungry.


Teeth she counted like cash,
The molars which paid her fine
And got her Alice's very own wonder

-ful escape...

...

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drugssexself distructionprioritiessexual abusedealdesperationvulnerable

The Samaritans charity's YouTube channel links to my Video poem 'So Sad WAS I'

 

Wow. I have only just seen that The Samaritans Charity official YouTube channel has favourited the video of my poem 'So Sad WAS I' which I wrote about calling the Samaritans helpline a few years ago. Please click on this link to hear and see it, on the Samaritans Charity Official YouTube channel.
 
 
The Samaritans helpline is here 24 / 7
Are you vulnerable? Feeling low?
...

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vulnerablecharitythe samaritanshelplinepoetrybsafe1stalwayspoempoetJohn Harrisonsuicidle

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