Dark humour (Remove filter)
Celebrant
Dear Friends and family members
Gathered here to celebrate
And rake over my life’s embers
So sorry that I’m late
I intended to be on time
For this, the concluding event
Commemorating in songs and rhyme
A life well spent
Only the traffic lights were down
And it just kept getting worse
With anxious mothers on the school run
Stuck behind the funeral hearse
...Tuesday 25th June 2024 6:21 pm
The Aussie Pomm (warning, Adult humour)
THE AUSSIE POMM.
Now, as you all know ladies. When a new mans in your life.
You groom your airs and graces to portray the perfect wife.
We are all so very concious of the things you musnt show.
Be discreet and feminine, that's all he needs to know.
Now I know that all you ladies have to have all things just right.
Especially on your wedding day and more so WEDDING NIGHT.
Well, it just s...
Tuesday 19th May 2020 5:21 pm
'Double' Act!
'Double' Act !
In Nineteen Ninety Four,
a young man took the floor
for the television show, “Stars in Their Eyes”!
He was, ‘hips-to-feet’ in plaster
as he struggled out, to master
his new crutches, in a bid to win the prize.
The host (then), Matthew Kelly
introduced him on the ‘telly’,
saying “Simon, what a plucky guy you are.
I’ve been told, a year ago,
...
Tuesday 9th July 2019 11:10 am
THE SHIP THEY CALL "ALZHEIMER'S"
THE SHIP THEY CALL 'ALZHEIMER'S'
Hello my friend, welcome aboard
The ship they call 'Alzheimer's'
There's forty thousand under sixty-five
'Young onset' to 'Old timers'
It doesn't matter what you call it
The umbrella term's 'Dementia'
On the ship they call 'Alzheimer's'
Every day's a new adventure
Forget your hip replacement
And your osteoarthritis
They we...
Sunday 23rd September 2018 6:59 pm
The 2nd Parakeet
The 2nd Parakeet
I had a beautiful parakeet
when I was a child
One day, its foolish feathers failed to shine
and was found in the sawdust at
the bottom of the cage
Wise Mother
Knowing the upset this would cause
rushed out to the store for a replacement
and picked the perfect imposter
coloured plumes in symmetry
copycat curve to the beak
and inquisitive shin...
Friday 1st September 2017 2:44 pm
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