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Who knew you were a veteran

when I was still navigating in this labyrinth 

I was just a neophyte

who tried to ignore our every fight

 

We tried to piece the jigsaw of love together,

But I’m insecure and you’re immature

 

Should’ve put a full stop before things became egregious 

And now the route turns devious,

It leaves me so lugubrious.

 

It was so fatuous 

...

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The frozen river you can’t see,

It flows through your eyes,

How delicate it may be you won’t feel it,

You shan’t see the feeling it becomes,

 

Those noises it squeals,

That may turn through strong desires,

You can’t touch in such approach,

From the lightest touch it feels,

 

The atmosphere it absorbs,

Surrounds the area with great pain ambience,

You see this for...

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Hidden Truth

The truth you’ve hid beneath the ocean,

Never has come in sights of the pirates above,

They claim the seas not knowing what you hid below,

Roaring around with treasures from the above,

 

Just not knowing me deep below,

Has led broken connections between them and me,

Time passes, kingdom rises,

The ocean is forgotten,

But they were nothing close to it,

...

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Wild Birds in Captivity

Those birds that roamed free,

Endless flights filled with glee,

They glide over the trees,

Flying side to side with the breeze,

 

Above the deserts, they can reach,

Following the wind that they preach,

Finding the oasis that they screech,

Under the clouds that breach,

 

A glimpse of their prey,

They plunge headfirst at bay,

Stumble and...

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Screaming,
My audience, my reason?
A steering wheel, my own fault.
It will not hear, neither will I.
Why bother conveying this?
You must know.
Yet you will never hear.
Solace in release.
Distraught in the moment thereafter.

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i can’t think of any other words

i’m sorry

you’re the puzzle piece 

that didn’t fit

and i bent your corners

and snipped off where you stuck out

and although the puzzle started looking pretty 

to me 

you suffered and 

it was so obvious but

i was so stubborn ‘cause

i wanted it to look perfect but

you didn't belong 

and i'm not sure if this means much

but

...

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{Nothing Last Forever}

 

 

As nothing last

forever and we

need time on our

own to find our

way out there

and through this

cold blue november

rain that keeps

blowing this pain in

and out of our lives

and don't you

dare look into my

eyes because you

will still see

there's love inside

of them burning

for you still but

we both are so

mes...

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I stare at the empty shell in the mirror.

Is this what I am now?

My flesh tainted,

clothes tight and suffocating,

nothing looks right anymore.

My hair falls in the wrong ways,

my makeup is now a mask.

I am numb.

I am blistered and broken.

Nothing is real anymore.

I look away,

and once again

I am encased in the hopelessness 

of this damned shell.

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{Don't Cry Over Me} 

 

Don't cry over me 

Don't feel sad for me 

Don't you think that

I didn't want

to stay but I 

couldn't because I 

had to go because

God needed me more 

Don't you think that  

I didn't Iove you

because I did 

and I always will

even from above now 

Don't cry over me 

Don't you forget that 

now I'm your angel

watching over you

...

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{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #23} {Lucifer} 

 

 

Lucifer is rising

faster than the

heavenly father `n` 

his angel's cannot his

lustful, sinful hands

of Lucifer as he grabs

your soulless souls

to bring you down

to his level `n` to his

burning hellish throne

for that one mistake

that everyone has

made as we perish

`n` fade away into

the darkne...

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{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #18} {He Just Don't Realize That I Still Care} 

 

 

 

He treats me like

I never really even

existed to him even

when I did `n` now wish

I didn't exist to him

but in his reality I 

don't or never did but

I still do care though

 

 

 

`n` he doesn't care about

me or never really did 

because if he did he

would at...

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{Once Was His Queen} 

 

 

I was once your queen

You was once my king 

​​​​​​but now I am nothing not even a friend to you 

and now I cannot stand that you are still alive and breathing 

and you have moved on like I never was your queen or even your lover 

and I try to move on but I'm always hoping for us to make our ways back to each other but I know that will never happen ...

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{Drape The Flag Over My Casket} 

 

 

As I lost the war that I was facing but please deliver this message to my family and loved one's back in the states 

 

I am sorry that I couldn't make out of this nightmare but I'll always be flying with you only from heaven above now but I do miss you and love you all and please don't cry because this military woman is finally at peace and they ...

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{Time To Move On} 

 

 

It's time to move

on from everyone 

and everything in

my life 

 

 

It has been fun,

crazy, hurtful,

desirable, painful,

filled with more

? heart break

than I am willing

to keep suffering

with you or anyone

else on this planet 

 

But it was a

pleasure now

it's time to go

M.I.A.

{missing in action} 

 

 

...

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{Time} 

 

 

One day at a

time that

will ease my

weary troubled

mind 

 

 

And just maybe

it will ease all

my wonders

away one day 

 

 

And it's supposed

to get easier but

it will in all due

time but it still

remains the

same that you

are not here

with us 

 

 

And all the

crazy facial

expressions

you made

somet...

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{I Will Not Let You Beat Me Down} 

 

 

Darling I won't

let you beat me

down and it's

high time that

this cowgirl 

picks herself back

up off of the

ground and get

to moving on

down the long

lonesome road as

I kick the hell

out them blues

you have got me

going through

and now it's time

to forget all 

about you 

little

darling 

 

...

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{No Guarantees}

 

 

 

There's no guarantees

that you actually ever

loved me at all




And 




There's no guarantees

that you was even

worth my tears over

these year's 




And I'm not gonna cry

and I sure as hell ain't

gonna shed no more

tears for you since

you left me to be with

her and tore my world

apart while breaking and

wreckin...

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{My Forever Sleeping ? Angel Daughter Lily}

 

 

My forever sleeping angel daughter Lily as her eyes became to heavy to hold open any longer because she heard Jesus calling her home so she cried out one last time and took one big gasp of air into her tiny lungs and then she was gone and now me or her daddy's life isn't never gonna be the same because we don't have beautiful our little Lily...

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{She's Trying}

 

She's trying to forget: 
 

She's trying truly to

force herself to

forget about the

conversations

between them

 

She's trying so hard

to forget his voice 

She's trying to forget

how he made her laugh

even though she felt like

she's was dying on

the inside 

She's trying to forget

all the beautiful

romance...

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{The Awaited Love Of A Lifetime}

 

 

This shy girl awaited

for the love of her

lifetime to come a

long into her lonely

life that made this 

delicate ? rose

stays so closed off

to the outside world

around her and even

more so to men

because the way she

has been hurt before

so she closed the 

doors for finding her 

love of a lifetime and

she me...

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{She Misses Him Badly}

 

 

They shared something

so beautiful and something

so deep and true but that

was so truthful lustful love

affair ended to soon because

he didn't believe her so she

went on her way no matter

how much she cared or loved

him and so much she wanted

to stay but she knew that

they would only hurt each

other in the end and they

did bec...

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{He Was Gone With The Wind}

 

 

He was gone with the wind 

but when left with the wind he wrecked my ? heart like a nuclear war head exploding killing everything good that once existed inside of me  

but now I'm sitting here in this pain that is driving me to drink one more shot to try to forget about the wind that blew through my loving arms 

that hasn't returned or never will a...

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{With This ? Rose} 

 

 

I will keep it with me even after it withers and died 

 

 

And 

 

 

I'll place into a book to hold our love that way until the very end of all times

 

 

Because with this ? rose is delicate to the touch so protect it with your love

 

 

And 

 

 

Your love is forever real 

 

 

And 

 

 

As the day's is lon...

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I feel like I am choking,

drowning in my unspilt tears. 

But the dams don't yet break even though the buoy in my throat is rising with the sea

and the canal that is my throat, tightens. 

 

No matter how hard my mind steers the sails away from the emotional storm within,

The crashing seas cannot help but spill over the edge of the boat. 

 

My tears are smooth like the PVC ma...

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I'd hold you close but you're not here, longing for you I shed a tear,the bedsides cold, my hands are too, If you were near I'd reach for you, the night sky is black but mostly blue,like how I feel when I'm missing you

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To partially open the doors of my poem, "To Die and Resurrect", words that are only a thorough touch of silent wounds which I carry on my skin, executions in the black of the night don’t come as a surprise. I only know that I died and revived to let the water rise from the ground and not let my brothers die of thirst.

To die and resurrect...

Under a savage sky,
of looks that stifle,
I seek...

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I loved you so much
that there was no time or place to resuscitate
 
You were the delicate origin of my verses,
the wisdom that lead my dreams,
the perpetuity of my sufferings,
and under your nuances I loved you
with the same red that my blood carries

I lived so many seasons beside you...
a delirium I never imagined,
the vile sins,
the painful memory,
the images from the past

Toda...

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You don’t know what I would do to conquer the territory of your body,
to be the pioneer of your heart,
and not a tiny dream
where dumbness is everything

I succumb over my fantasies
because I only have you
as an indelible mark
on my languid nights

You do not know the magical feeling that runs through my belly
that invades and robs my feelings,
with dementia when I dream of you
and on...

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Following your steps I've worn out my thoughts

forgetting and remembering you, forsaking and finding you,

letting you go and desiring you

and I digress in the mountain of my thoughts

 

Following your steps, I’ve punished my tears;

I look at you and my eyes dilate,

you ignore me, my heart erodes

attempting to give you love’s beauty

 

Following your steps, I have worn o...

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Without you I cannot imagine myself;

I lived an unreal past

that was part of the soul

I thought loved me

 

I sailed on the river of your lies,

of everything that you said you felt

 

I made up a mirage of tender caresses

where you were the delight of all my senses

 

Among thorns of silence I landed;

tears blinded me and without pause

and swiftly my way became ...

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What do I do with my pain if underneath this wound my wishes are crushed and I die every day?

You violated every beat of my heart, and I, stealing the minutes to every hour

dared not express that my desolation deepened inside my room

 

You never gave freshness to my skin, not even a pretense of love

and I fell into this ordeal, under this soundless orphanage

 

I longed you so ...

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