This poem tries to capture the pain of watching a friend succumb to addiction, bound to a destructive habit that erodes both health and hope. As one friend struggles with the limits of friendship and "agape", the other slips further and further away, lost in a cycle that breaks promises and bodies alike. This poem hopefully serves as both plea and ultimatum—a haunting look at the cost of holding o...

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Left

5:27 am

It is time to get up.

Airport.

Shower – I use the woman’s fancy shampoo.

Toothpaste, lotion, brush; done – in the black hygiene bag.

The woman enters the bedroom to check on me, “You have everything?”

“Yes,” I say, “I think so; if I leave anything, you could send it to me?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay,” I say.  She walks to the kitchen and sits down softly with ...

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We want the same and fear the change,

yet all the while we just complain

of everything single thing under the sun.

I’ve heard it is a general rule,

that man is nothing but a fool

because he never wants the prize he’s won.

And yeah, it is the same with me,

I live in discontent you see.

I never seem to find a place to rest.

I’ve searched to find some middle ground

...

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Love has so many forms by which it shows itself each day,

in simple acts of kindness made in quite heartfelt ways.

Sometimes it takes a hand and spends the time to show it cares.

Sometimes it takes a few steps back while broken hearts repair.

And every time two lovers finally cross each other's path,

it jumps with joy to have the chance to work its favorite task.

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It’s a feeling that has no words to describe,

when the late autumn leaves fade color.

Quietly waving a final goodbye

in the chill as morning mist hovers.

It’s something between a pure feeling of peace

and a loneliness down to the bone.

Perfect tranquility rests on the air,

but the sadness won’t leave you alone.

Life has a way of drifting in waves,

up and dow...

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I want to see your face
I want to bore into your eyes
I want you to make me twirl
but I think it's too late

Why did it feel like the last dance
that I'd get before you vanish into the oasis?
Did you have to give up so soon?
I was just getting used to being
someone you called

You asked me why I didn't
take off my mask
I laughed and said that it's become a part of me
only I  knew t...

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On a full moon day

would you come to me

and for single day

be mine for a while?

You need not to talk

nor smile

just sit by my side 

and stare at the sky

'cause tomorrow it'll be

a moonless sky

when you dress in a tux

and say "I do"

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So it ended before it began,
but I have no regrets nor sorrows..
It's as if I knew 
deep down my heart
that it never could be
like two rail tracks that'll never meet,
like the moon and the sun that'll never collide,
a mirage in the dunes, mistaken for the oasis for a while,
a book with only a prologue and an epilogue ,
with no chapters in between..
It's not that I don't care
or don't ha...

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we were an unsinkable ship,
built to sustain any injury
thrown our way, or so we said.

cast into the dark,
yet illuminated with infinite possibilities.

suddenly slipping through our fingers
the bitter cold quickly rushed in,
and the music played on.

while the chaos surrounded us
and the children were tucked safely in their bed,
the music played on.

while prayers were whispered,
...

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Today's blog is another in which there are two versions of the same poem. This time we have a short and a long version. If I were to keep only one I would probably keep the long version but since they are meditations I feel like it is OK for there to be two versions of the poem. 

Version 1 – Long

In Death I cannot cling to who I am or was,
I will not know or see or hear or think,
...

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Sweat and tears and laughter flowing through
Your body while your friends cheer you
On, and cheer your opponent on.

You both want to win, but in order for one of you
To win, the other has to lose. 

It starts off friendly, tentative
You keep eye contact, you smile
You want to enjoy the comradery.

There are no sides according to your audience
But both of you know that there is 
A rig...

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One by one counting memories:
an old photograph of us at the beach,
a sweater that won’t rid itself of your scent,
books and CDs that you lent,
I’ve packed them away
They won’t see another day

I’ve packed the boxes, 
made the plans,
the rooms are empty
but I am motionless

Is it that familiar look?
Is it the morning glow
that paints itself through the window?
No, it’s the memories ...

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I made a decision that was hard

To let you go 

To let you fly

God told me don’t worry she’ll be fine

God told me ,“ Love is patience. Love is kind.”

I cried and yelled and couldn’t accept it 

His voice was clearer his voice was loud

He said one more time, “Love is patience. Love is kind.”

I finally understood I needed to stop being selfish 

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Let me tell you this 

a secret lies within oneself,

many dare to dismiss.  

Alas,

Loving one who is broken, 

Creates complication 

And bliss. 

A problem to handle,

That is not ones own. 

A secret to help bury, 

Yet not to hold on ones own. 

The truth is set free,

When their true self is recognized 

By the one who had the power, 

All along on the ...

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It's time to let go.

It's time to move on from the past, 

from whatever it is holding you back

The random pain from memories 

coming back to you as if two years was instead, two months ago

It's time to be free of all that is not meant to be

You know and I know 

The universe will show you which way to go 

Find true connection from within

Only then will you find clarity 

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it pulls back, tight,
a finger falls away
gone
flung through the air
till it hits
and falls
a heavy stone sunk at the bottom of my stomach
but you’ve left the slingshot on the bench outside
and I don’t know how to leave you on that bed
a cold hand still holds my heart
instead, you’ll stay
a heavy stone sunk in my stomach
I’ll never leave you behind
I swear
I’ll take you everywhere
b...

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Standing on the platform, waving goodbye to yesterday’s train.
Perhaps you wanted to feel you had a little bit of control.
You’re saying you hope that train never comes back again.

 A peripatetic pretense helps to ease the pain.
It’s a phantom journey, but no one has to know.
Standing on the platform, waving goodbye to yesterday’s train.

You collected yourself, stood erect, and hoped to ...

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Go 

Go far 

without me 

I was the anchor 

you were the sail 

you were born to fly 

I was born to fail

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HA! I guess I haven't changed since then. All these schemes and dreams in my head of me doing something impossible to win you back. Wrong choice of words. To open you to me once more.

Once I daydreamt that I somehow got in touch with Al Barr and we went drinking up in Edmonton at your favorite bar every day for a week until you strolled in. You were star struck, Al was a cool wingman, you fell ...

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Call me the doormat,

The infestation of rats,

The ‘oh she ain’t all that’,

Call the kettle black!

Call me the diva, the princess, the moan bag,

The emotional one, oh isn’t it sad?

The hot head who can only nag nag nag,

That period trainwreck – a handful for a lad.

Call me whatever deflects most from what reflects

When you stand by the mirror and boast,

When ...

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You're all I see

You're all I breath

You're all I feel

And all I need

Every morning I wake 

You're the pain I receive 

Love is such a damned word

But baby please come back to me

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You pick up the trees and you wave them like fans

But her face continues to sweat.

You unravel the ground and you drain it of soil

But her stomach never rounds,

Her mouth remains open.

You bottle up the ocean till all water is extinct

Yet she continues to faint of thirst.

You take life from the earth,

You remove breath from the world

And she continues to perform still bi...

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How do you say goodbye

to everyone you love,

your family and friends

who you hold high above.

How do you say goodbye

to the one in your heart;

your soul mate, from who

none could tear you apart.

Your night and your day

and in every sweet way,

no words could express

what you're needing to say.

How do you say goodbye

to the child in your hand

...

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Where is my mind, At times I feel I scratch and claw just to find, I'm behind in the race eluded to the right pace, Same case different place, as my sorrows follow, Escape no longer option not sure if it ever was, Just a young man tryna to do what I must Yet I titter on the cusp, feeling like it's all a bust, How can trust what I know when everyone else seems to go.... Astray. Been t...

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Gently you trace the tear
down my cheek
my pain mirrored
in the confusion in your eyes
not understanding what you’ve done
again
still
but wanting to

Words like barriers between us
we take turns offering apologies
reassurances
arms pulling each other close
losing myself
in your warm hard body against mine
as we both try to deny
the fences between us

...

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